life updates for anyone who cares

date #2 went unexpectedly?

okay, not entirely, i didnt really expect a man to be convinced of actual logical reasons of why living with his family is a terrible idea.. not even close.

and he didnt even try to register what i was saying and clocked out half way - not a good vibe at all.

he said his istikhara was good and he saw a dream and there was nothing bad or concerning in it for him to feel any type of way except ofc the living arrangement. anyways. he told me that his sisters told him they liked me obviously bc we were laughing for two hours but that ultimately we have to live with each other.

i just dont think hes ready for that responsibility... mentally. i mean, ye hes quite an attractive guy, 5'9, walks funny, is probably more academically gifted than me bc he did medical science but his inseparable bond with his mum.. is creepy and unnerving to say the least. and ik that now it might seem 'innocent' but really this will bite me in the back if i let it fester and dont say it.

hes still thinking like a single guy.. and not willing to meet my halfway. he says he is, but apparently financial struggles are more important for him than the two most powerful women in his life potentially quarreling and ending his existence bc he will always be the mediator in the situation. i gave him so many reasons, i had to clock out. i think i was becoming red.

i was getting quite frustrated bc he just wasnt even trying to understand. and he was leaning back the entire time. hah. the audacity. he can go marry someone else with that body language and no-care attitude.. but its not gonna be me.

its like... all his life he just wants to be mummy's little boy.. and that character is gonna become really tiring and old real soon. he says he 'understands' its gonna be awkward but he doesnt get it ... bc hes NOT A WOMAN.

just like a woman will never understand a man's financial struggles, neither will the man understand why their women just cant get along... call me a magician with the amount of tricks i pulled out the hat.

but no. hes stubborn and that type of trait really irks me.. i would probably enjoy that s*xually but im not gonna live under the same roof as his mum??? no way... its kind of become smth undebateable for me now. this is why i prefer non-pakistanis.. bc they just get it.

living alone is not smth to be debated.. it is going to happen and so thats more than half the hassle sorted. idk what i didnt tell him. but honestly im getting the biggest ick from him rn. i really wanna snatch his beard out hair by hair bc thats what i felt i was doing.

now idk if hes using his mum's health as a scapegoat and to hide from the fact that hes trying to take the easy way out... my dad said he is. and that means hes complacent.. and that? is not gonna run in my household. i dont need some lazy complacent ass 'man' who also demand his rights like??? where is your game???

he mentioned multiple times hes not good under pressure... well. a wife and kids suffice as pressure, i believe and if you cant handle it.. gtfo of the way of someone who can.

and you know what? i honestly dont know if this will even work out... but its a big stepping stone in my level-up journey that i was still able to attract a high value man.. even with his mummy issues. but a high-value man nonetheless. i mean hes a gentlemen, hes very attractive, we do vibe on a lot of things.. except for living arrangements and i did enjoy his company in the first date. but tonight's date? was a no-go. but anyway, i wish him the best. and i can definitely find someone who doesnt need to be persuaded in any way, shape or form of why its wrong to live with family.

i will manifest this. i manifested him... but its time to manifest someone better in shaa Allah. it was nice getting to know them.. and we're still gonna give it our final shot by talking to his mum about the living situation.. but idk still. i was so angry when i started this entry.. i didnt even wanna pray istikhara lol