life updates for anyone who cares

i enjoy hardship

happiness is futile like Andrew tate has said many times, i will never be truly happy in this life bc this life is a test i just did my vision board for the upcoming months while i listened to andrew tate in his podcast and he just said that life is meaningless without striving towards smth bigger than us.

bc look, im pregnant, im married alhamdulilah happily, i have a job... and yet, is till feel like this? i have a good amount of people around me, sure i dont have the bestest of friends who want the best for me... but ik ill be ok and ill make some new ones... and who says they have to be in aus? i can literally find internet friends and maybe ill even find people that are like me, around me.  but i have to accept that i will probably never have friends like i want to have.. ever in this life. and i ahve to accept it.

wanting a positive experience is a negative experience and accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. ofc when i was literally balling my eyes out two nights ago.. none of this was occurring in my head. but now, i have to accept it. nobody will care like i care, nobody is a good friend like i am.. and i mean this genuinely. im acc a very good friend. im not clingy, i dont even expect anything.. yes i expect my friends to reciprocate my energy etc and encourage me.. but i dont the\ink thats crazy. but maybe it is.

maybe the person im meant to be, is meant to be alone. is meant to be self-driven, self-motivated, self-disciplined - bc that is what is required to be a great person. and honestly? altho i agree with most things andrew says, i dont agree that women should just sit around birthing children and thats about all the impact they have on the world.

why do i carry on being annoyed and frustrated that people dont listen to me... when they never have? when they probably never will? but does that mean i wont grow? does that mean my health brand wont absolutely combust bc of its growth? why do i keep going despite the hate and the negativity? 

bc ik that this is bigger than me. bigger than my ego. bigger than my limited vision. idk how, but ik it will blow up. like andrew tate blew up. but i have to put down my head now and do the work. i have to put in the work, relentlessly. not worrying about what baba thinks not worrying about if he 'believes' i can do it or not, bc I KNOW i can and thats all that matters.

and ik that everyone will be there at the end. and thats the tragedy of life. you gotta do things alone, and celebrate with company. i cannot expect anything from anyone. ik that everyone says this, but i really have to accept it.

my own husband doesnt believe in this as much as i do, and the truth is, it would be dumb of me to expect him to.. bc then it would become HIS thing and not be my thing anymore. only i can be 'passionate' or whatever the hell about this bc I'M the one whos frustrated and mad that people are sick left right and centre, everyone else is happy to accept the doctor's prescription, not me. i am literal proof that doctors dont have all the answers.

and until i truly embody that. until i truly embody my vision of changing the world one step at a time, im gonna continue living a miserable life where everyone aroound me tells me someone new who got cancer, or alzheimers or thyroid and im sick of it. and ill only get sicker of it and thats the truth.

to wake people up, you need to attack their biggest fear in life: fear of death. and whats a better brand than health for that? if i can somehow attack that fear of theirs, ive won. and also they've won, bc they'll finally do better for themselves when they know what to do.

and now that i gave both my siblings tips on their acne.. and they saw REAL results in a matter of two months... means i have results and i can use them. without having any money initially. i will make money, but more importantly, i will help people iA.

ive also helped mama alleviate her constipation symptoms.. obviously its not perfect. but shes getting there. maybe its the case of missing electrolytes. bc when i have soup during pregnancy, it makes me poop - so maybe mama should have bone broth everyday to balance her hormones. hmmm good idea.