The Pack and Sidemen Oneshots

Lachlan/Wooflan/Mitchlan- To Take A Life Part 2

Rob's P.O.V.

After Lachlan's death, I was a wreck. I could do nothing but blame myself for allowing him to carry through with it and I was constantly asking myself why didn't I lock the gun cabinet? Why didn't a leave the ammo somewhere else? Why did I even have a gun? I didn't truly need it, it was only for scaring off animals. But it was too late for that now.

Mitch went back to Australia not long after the funeral with Jake, too distraught to really do anything. His brother was buried here, in Canada, I think it was too painful for him to take him away from the country he had spent so much time in in his last years. His grave was a 5 minute walk from my house, a new flower placed every day.

I somehow managed to keep a level head until everyone was gone, but after that I really think there was no saving me. I couldn't live with the guilt of knowing that my negligence had allowed him to take his life and every time I thought of him, or anytime I visited his grave which was slowly growing flowers, I burst into tears. I couldn't bear to think about it, and it dragged me down a deep, dark hole.

"Hey Lachy..." I whispered, sighing as I slumped against the gravestone. My fingers played with the weeds, dandelions, growing alongside it and although most people would get rid of them I couldn't. Yellow had become synonymous with him after his death and although the flowers might have been weeds, they reminded me of him.

"It's been a while, eh?" I closed my eyes, the tears already welling. "6 months has passed so fast... I miss you. God, I don't know if I can continue like this. I've got no motivation to do anything, I had uploaded anything since you died... everyone's asking if I'm coming back. I don't know if I can."

"Mitch has been... god he's barely hanging on. I'm glad he's got Jake and Otto, I think that's the only thing that's the only thing that's kept him going this long. I'm so glad Jake got there in time. He's streamed once since you died and he burst into tears a few minutes in. It's been pretty bad for him... no, it's been pretty bad for everyone."

"The other Pack boys, the Click guys, even the Sidemen were completely destroyed when they found out about you... they all came to your funeral. I think they understood why you were buried here." My eyes landed on the writing on the stone- words Mitch chose himself.

Lachlan Ross Power, 25/08/95- 02/01/20
Beloved brother, friend and son, you are never forgotten.

I ran a hand through my hair, a small splash on the grave stone that fell from my eyes. I didn't know what to do because even 6 months on from his death I wasn't getting anywhere, I hadn't dragged myself out of the hole the death had forced me into, I wasn't recovering.

I didn't know how much longer I could hold on.

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Clutching the gun in my fingers I stared down at it, shuddering because this was the gun that Lachlan had used to take his life. It had been temporarily seized by the police after his death but once it was clear that it was at his own hand it was cleaned and returned to me. I hadn't wanted it.

But I still didn't do it.

Even though he wasn't there I could sense Lachlan begging me not to do it, to stay alive, to not give into my demons. If he was watching, I didn't want him to see me at my lowest.

That day just so happened to be the day that Mitch and Jake called to check up on me, something they did every now and again to make sure I was doing alright. I looked forward to the calls because I could catch up with them, they hadn't been back to Canada since Lachlan's death, and even simply talking to them boosted my mood quite a bit.

"Hey Rob." Jake said with a small smile, looking over his shoulder where Mitch was lying just in my view with Otto on his stomach. "How's it been?"

"Not great..." I mumbled, leaning back in my chair. "I haven't been able to do anything, I've just got no motivation for anything. I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning..."

"Yeah..." He glanced back at his boyfriend. "It's been the same with Mitch, he can hardly do anything. It's been... bad. You haven't been getting out much, have you?"

"No, there's no one around. I've been out at the cottage a lot."

"We've been considering getting out of Australia for a bit, Mitch and I. Next month would you be alright with us coming up to stay?" Mitch sidled up to him, slipping into his lap. "For a couple of weeks, maybe?"

"Yes of course!" I said, enthused. "I'd look forward to it!"

Mitch smiled softly, resting his head against his boyfriends chest. He was a lot skinner than he had been before his brothers death and I knew he had fallen into a deep depression, struggling to fight his way out of it- but I knew he was only alive still because of Jake and Otto. He had tried to take his own life not long after Lachlan died, but Jake had gotten there in time.

"We'll work out the details later but I think we just need to get out of here a bit." Jake said, hugging Mitch close. "Spend some time away."

"Of course." I smiled, my heart singing.

I would genuinely look forwards to their visit- but it still wasn't enough.

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Two weeks after our call everything slid back downhill again, the demons throwing fire inside my head, demanding I just give up. I tried to fight it, I really did, but it didn't take long before I was holding the gun in my hands again, bullets spread out in my lap. My hands were shaking so much I could barely load the gun- but I did it. It was too late to go back now.

Resting on the dresser were two suicide notes, one for Mitch and one for Jake, explaining that I couldn't continue on anymore, not after fighting for so long. I couldn't.

With trembling hands I held the gun up to my temple, took a deep breath- and fired.

I felt nothing.