Vikklan- Weight Part 1

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Vikk's P.O.V.

I knew the other boys didn't notice the hurt in my eyes every time they made a comment about my weight or more specifically my weight gain. For years I had been as skinny as a twig and I had been so self-conscious about it so once I moved out I started going to the gym to up my self-esteem.

But once I started bulking up and gaining some muscle, so much so that I went up a clothing size, the teasing started. JJ had done the same thing, going from a rather unhealthy, slightly underweight human to a man who could lift 200 pounds and had actually abs, but they never teased him, so why did they tease me?

I faked a laugh every time and brushed it off like it was nothing, but over a period of time less than a few months it started to pile up on the inside.

I had been admittedly unhealthy before I moved out of the house, either completely skipping meals, eating only unhealthy snack or binge eating everything in the house to keep myself going. But before then I never gained any weight, food never made me gain weight. But working out did.

Over a period of a few months I stopped my workout routine and stopped my more healthy eating schedule and I found myself loosing weight rapidly until I was skinnier than I had been beforehand. My skin was stretched thin across my bones and I felt exhausted all the time, even almost fainting on a few occasions.

When I pulled up my shirt and looked in the mirror I could see my ribs through my skin and the outlines of them were almost painful, and there were thin red lines that eventually faded to white covering my arms, memories of the pain I put myself through to cope.

I knew that if I didn't cut then I would be dead, and the teasing had begun to cease and it made me feel proud of myself. It was sick and disgusting that I felt proud of myself, but I was.

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It had been planned for quite a while, months and months, but I found that I was more excited than I thought I would be. I hadn't seen him in close to a year and now he was coming up for a convention, staying with me for close to two weeks, so I was bursting with happiness.

For once in my life, I was excited and happy.

Lachlan's P.O.V.

Even on the opposite side of the world I could see the changes in Vikk, in both his physical health and mental health. I saw the sudden drop off in his confidence and his weight and his rise in impatience and anger, how I could hardly bear to record with him because he was so sad and he got so angry, so fast.

I could tell he was also in a very depressive state and so when I went up to London for a convention I knew I had to confront him about it. I couldn't leave him alone with this, fighting on his own.

"Lachlan!" I heard his squeal from across the terminal and he barrelled into me at full force, almost knocking me over. All I could do was laugh and smile and hug him back, squeezing him so tightly that I actually lifted him from the floor.

"Good to you too Vikk." I whispered, spinning in a circle. "Good to see you too."

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The first couple of days revolved around the convention and by the time it was over I was absolutely exhausted. On the last night I got back to Vikk's apartment and crashed on the couch, simply because I was too exhausted to make it up to the guest bedroom.

I awoke the next morning sore and stiff, with a small headache and feeling a little hungover from the party after the convention, but I was alright. After taking a couple of Panadol I was alright to go for the day but when Vikk stumbled down the stairs about half an hour later, I could tell he wasn't.

He came downstairs still half asleep, shirtless and he clearly had a hangover from the night before. He looked completely exhausted and there were black bags underneath his eyes but what both shocked and surprised me the most were the red lines that absolutely covered his forearms and stretched up most of the length of his arms. Vikk hadn't seemed to notice that I could see the scars, and some that weren't scars. Some were new.

"Vikk?" I asked, my voice shaking. His gaze came up to meet me and I think that was when he finally clicked what was going on, what I could see. He jolted as his eyes went wide and he attempted to back out of the room but before he could go I caught his arm, dragging him into a hug. "Vikk... oh my god Vikk..."

At first he struggled, crying out fearfully but all I did was squeezed him tighter and he completely broke down in my arms. I didn't even have to say anything more, he just let me hold him, tracing gentle fingers up and down his scarred arms.

"Why Vikk?" I whispered, pained. "Everything was going so well... what changed?"

"Because-" He sobbed, his voice muffled by my chest, "they kept talking about my weight! They kept teasing me and mentioning it and I couldn't take it anymore!"

He hit me desperately in a weak attempt to calm himself, still sobbing. I continued to hug him tightly. It took me less than a second to gather myself, my thoughts and feelings, and shove them right down to the back of my mind because right then Vikk was more important. I could ask questions later, now I needed to get Vikk somewhere safe and warm, into bed, where he could calm down and possibly sleep.

"Alright Vikk," I whispered, trying to stop my voice from shaking so I would sound calmer, "I'm gonna get you back upstairs to bed, just so you can calm down."

He didn't seem to hear me but as I started to move I noticed he did latch his grip onto me tighter. I got the message, he didn't want me to go.

"Don't worry." I mumbled as I stood with him in my arms. "I'm not going anywhere."

I made sure my hold on him was gentle and he was comfortable in my arms as I carried him up the stairs and into his room. His bed was clearly slept in; it was a mess, the sheets everywhere and the duvet half hanging on the floor. I lowered him down and quickly fixed everything up before clambering into the bed alongside him.

Even half asleep and tears creeping down his face, he moved and latched his arms around my waist like a little koala. I could tell he wasn't going to be letting go for quite a while so I settled myself down for a long rest.

Leaning down, I pressed a light but loving and meaningful kiss to his forehead.

"Don't worry Vikk. It'll get better, and I'll be with you every step of the way."

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