Adopted By Hamilton One Shots

Abi - Equus

I crossed my legs, and re-read the familiar monologue that sat in my lap. I had already read for my audition and it felt a little uncomfortable. My agent had suggested several different projects for me when I told him I wanted to go back to acting after having my baby, but reading for Jill just felt off. I read the play, of course, before coming in and had to text my agent to double check that I was supposed to be reading for Jill rather than Hesther or Dora, the older female roles. I mean, I was a mother now, and Jills monologue was clearly written for a teenager.

My agent told me to own my age, to not try and appear as a teenager. The casting call was for ages 30-40, so there I was in my age-appropriate heels, black slacks, and white blouse reading a monologue where I chose to giggle. Unsure of why they decided to keep us after we read, I started to mentally re-run my monologue, with different motivations, preparing for anything the producers could throw at me if they called me back in.

"Okay ladies," the twenty-something year old intern opened the door, and sighed, "you're all free to leave. Thank you so much for your time." I was slightly confused as I leaned down to grab my purse from the floor; why ask us to stay if they weren't planning on listening to anyone again? Maybe they're rethinking the age, I pondered, secretly hoping everyone was as uncomfortable pretending to be a teenager again as I was.

As soon as I made it out of the room, I called Kevin. I tried to fall back against a wall as to not cause a traffic jam in the small hallway that all of the women were using as a means of escaping that confusing audition. The phone rang a couple of times, then I heard my husbands voice.

"Hey! You're out! How did it go?" He asked excitedly.

"I feel fine." I replied, overly aware of the other women leaving the same audition I was. Most of them were in earshot and I didn't want to parade my discomfort too much. I was self conscious of my straight acting. I mean, Bonnie and Clyde won me a Tony (which mostly just collects dust on my dad's trophy shelf), but I'll never know if my raw honesty and character development won me that award or if it was my long fought for high belt. I want to prove that I'm more than just a musical theatre actress, that I can do the serious stuff too.

"I'm sure you were lovely." Kevin encouraged, and an involuntary smile crept onto my face; he made me happy. "I'm on my way out, do you wanna meet somewhere?"

"Sure." I agreed, "Lemme call my dad and ask him to keep Hunter for a little while longer."

"Sounds solid, he'll wanna hear about the audition too."

"True." I sighed, knowing my exuberant father would pester me for every last detail, even if I was more than apathetic.

"Okay, uh, Pastini's? Twenty minutes?" He suggested.

"Sounds good." I nodded, starting to finally move toward the door. "See you soon."

"See you!" He exclaimed, then added a "love you," before hanging up the call.

I managed a little "love you too" as I started re-dialing my dad's number.

"Hey, sweetheart!" Lin exclaimed, and I smiled, walking out of the building and down toward the nearest subway stop. "How'd the cold read go? Equus, right?"

"It went okay, felt a little weird, but it's fine. Zach is sending me all these weird experimental projects, I'm not too attached." I explained, rushing down underground, hugging my purse close to me.

"Well good on you for getting back on the horse. Not everything is going to feel right for you." My dad encouraged, "are you on your way over?"

"Actually, Kevin and I were gonna get dinner. We were hoping you could hold onto Hunter for a little while longer."