Adopted By Hamilton One Shots

Abi - The Tapes

Written by Obsessive_Fan_Gurl !!

The tapes (13 Reasons Why Inspired)

Tape 1

"Hey it's Abi... Abi Miranda or Walter I don't even know anymore... all I know is I can't live like this any more ... I'm sorry. I don't know where to go. I don't see a way out of this. Some people write a letter. But that's not me. That's not this family that welcomed me with open arms. I don't want this tape to be heard. I don't want to go through with this but I don't see another way I feel like I'm drowning and every little thing seems to push my head under water. Whether it's the guys at school just being guys or it's stressing about college applications or it's the court case with Luke and his parents. I know you're trying to keep the details from me Mom, but I can see the stress in your shoulders I see you stay up all night working on the case. I know you guys care about me I know you love me. But I can't help feeling like a burden. With dad getting the role in Mary Poppins you'll be moving to London and I know you don't know if you can take me with you because of the Walters. If I dont get to come. If I don't get a chance to say goodbye. I hope that this is enough. I know it never will be. I hope you can move on from whatever I do. I don't want you to blame anyone because no one is to blame. This was my decision. I just hope you don't hate me for it. I love you with all my heart. You were my saving grace and if it weren't for you I would of done this a long time ago.

Lots of Love Abi

Tape 2

"Hey it's Abi... again... I guess I thought moving to another country would help. But it hasn't. I get hate on all my social media. I'm the new kid again I need to make friends again but yet I'm just that weird kid with the weird accent. At least we won the court case, but that doesn't mean Luke is out of my life. He tweets me regularly. I know I should block him but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to do anything. I guess one good thing is I don't feel like I'm drowning any more, I just don't feel anything. Everything is just too loud and the thoughts inside my head echo 10 times louder, and I just want everything to stop. I can't help but feeling like an outcast. The stereotype around British private school is they're more polite and well educated. But the girls here are just as bitchy, and think they're better than everyone, just like in New York. The people you thought were your friends turn around and stab you in the back and I just can't handle one more knife.

I hope this isn't goodbye I'll keep trying to fight through it.

Lots of love Abi.

---

Abi's POV

They weren't the only tapes I recorded. As the years passed I recorded more and more. I had a box full of them in my wardrobe, but I hadn't felt the need to make one in over a year. If not longer. College was almost over. Kevin and I were engaged and we'd be moving in together after our wedding. Dad was planning something, but he wouldn't tell me what. I don't even think Vanessa knew what he was planing. It was 2 weeks before the wedding everything was falling into place. I was sitting on my bed looking over make-up and hair styles on Pinterest.

Dad slammed into my room with several card boxes in his arms and Tobi wandering In behind him. She was getting old and did not have nearly as much energy as she used to. She scrambled onto my bed and curled up as dad dropped the boxes.

"You need to pack," Lin smiled as he looked up from the mess of cardboard on my floor.

"I still have 2 weeks,"

"No you have graduation tomorrow. Then Vanessa is taking you for a girls day and the cast wants to hang out... I'm pretty sure Jasmine and Anthony are kidnapping you the following day. I've done the math, Muffin, you only have 5 days to pack. 2 of those will probably be spent fussing about the wedding and the apartment. So that leaves 3 Niñita so up." Papa all but demanded. As he opened my cupboard with such force several items of clothing fell out on top of him. I giggled and closed my laptop.