Adopted By Hamilton One Shots

Luke AU - Police Part 7

A few months after the trial had finished, I was sitting uncomfortably on my therapists couch, and she was trying to see if I had made progress.

"Okay, just tell me where you are on a scale of one to ten." She smiled, and I nodded a bit. "How much time have you been spending alone?"

"Very little, two." I shrugged.

"Ability to take care of yourself? One being no problem, ten being you can't take care of yourself."

"Oh." I mumbled, "8." I realized that my boyfriend picked my clothes out, and straightened my hair and my mom had to force me to eat and my dad drove me here. I hadn't done anything for myself in a while.

"Mood swings? One being not at all, ten being all the time"

"I don't know like a 6?" I guessed.

"Anxiety?"

"9." I replied without thinking.

"Panic attacks?"

"Mmhm." I nodded, then remembered I was rating, "10."

"Okay, um, how has your sleep been? One being fine, ten being either way too much or way too little."

"Better!" I exclaimed, "7."

"Interest in daily tasks? One is a normal amount, 10 is no interest."

"7." I nodded.

"Thoughts of self harm or suicide?" She questioned, carefully.

"One." I nodded, there was no way I could hurt myself after what happened with Luke. No way.

"Okay, so you're making a little bit of progress." She smiled, "panic attacks are still high though?" She asked.

"Mmhm." I nodded, "I don't know why, I thought they were about the case but maybe they aren't."

"Well, the problems that stem from Luke and the trial aren't going to just end immediately." She sighed, "you'll be dealing with that for a while."

"Oh." I mumbled.

"But also, panic attacks and anxiety are also symptoms of postpartum depression. So theres a chance that the panic attacks aren't related to the trial at all."

"Um, I don't know if this is pertinent, but, I think I want to get pregnant." I admitted.

"Okay, um, you're dating someone right?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"How do they feel about getting pregnant?"

"We haven't talked about it." I shrugged.

"Okay, well, if you really want a baby you should bring it up, okay?" She smiled.

"So do you think it's okay for me to... for me to get pregnant?"

"Well," she sighed, "I wouldn't encourage it. What's probable is that you got used to the idea that you were going to have a child and when that didn't happen, you were a little lost." She explained, "you want to replace the baby you lost."

"But I don't want to get pregnant but I really do." I explained, "how do I fix this?"

"Okay, just, do..." she trailed off, "I would talk to your partner about it."

"What if he freaks out?" I mumbled, "what if he gets angry and is afraid of having a baby?"

"If he's stayed this long, he won't get freaked out by that." She reassured me, "just tell him that it's part of your postpartum."