Stray Kids Ships One-shot

[HyunIn] Notes

Ship: HyunIn

Hyunjin sits on the grass near the edge of the cliff, a red glittery box beside him. His gaze settles on the setting sun. Red and orange caresses his face gently with warmth, like how Jeongin would.

He looks at the red glittery box beside him and a tear fell from his eye. He holds the box to his chest and takes off the lid. There inside are colorful notes and letters, with a few pictures of them.

Another tear fell from his eyes as he picks up a baby pink note.

I live for your hugs and kisses

He picks another in baby blue.

Why do you smell like baby powder even though you don't use one?

He holds a picture gently between his index finger and thumb. It was a picture taken from their first date. He has his arm around Jeongin as he kisses the youngers temple while the younger smiles brightly at the camera. He turns it around and at its back was written

The park, the children running around in that early morning, the crepes, the hot chocos, it was the perfect first date...

He placed a soft kiss on it and placed it back. He takes a a folder paper in a very light shade of pink.

Hyunjinnie-hyung
Happy Anniversary hyung! Thank you for everything. All those dates, late night cuddles, movie nights, even our simple moments, I wont ever forget them. You make me feel warm and tingly inside. You make me feel loved. And I'm grateful for it. For all the time that you gave me. Even if you were supposed to be studying for exams, or if you needed to practice in basketball, you still find time for me. I wish that we'll be able to last long. Like a century or so, if that's even possible. I love you hyung please don't forget that.

Your baby,
Innie

Tears fell like waterfalls on Hyunjins face, wetting the letter. He dug deeper through the box, finding different colored notes and letters. Finally finding what he was searching for, the black colored notes and letters.

Why do I feel so empty...

It was written in silver colored ink. Plain silver and black so unlike the others.

It hurts but I'll pretend for you...

I feel so useless

Why are you getting jealous? He's just a friend...

Hyunjin remembers this one or atleast he knows what this note is talking about. There was this one time where Hyunjin got jealous of Jeongins friend.

Seungmin was a naturally clingy boy. He clings to everyone constantly, even to Hyunjin and Jeongin. But there came a time where Seungmin took almost all of Jeongins time for a week. Jeongin would try to talk to Hyunjin, hug the older boy from time to time. Hyunjin would hug the younger back but from time to time he would act cold to the other.

To Hyunjins disappointment the two got even closer. He would see the two playing around, or Jeongin leaning his head on Seungmins shoulder and vice versa. It came to the point where he couldn't even talk to the younger.

Hyunjin's jealousy and anger clouded his decisions. Deciding to ignore the younger and hang-out with Changbin.

A month passed and they still ignored each other. Treating each other like they didn't exist. Hyunjin would miss the youngers longing looks and ignore Changbins pitiful looks.

It took them two months to makeup. With Jeongin screaming his heart out and Hyunjin softly cradling the other.

Hyunjin smiled sadly at the memory and took another black paper.

Why does it feel good everytime I cut?

He knew. Hyunjin knew that the younger cuts. He just didn't want to talk about it. He knew even before they dated.

He would usually see the younger in long sleeves. Maybe the Jeongin forgot that he has cuts, cause he'll roll up his sleeves without a care. But then he'll freeze and roll down one of his sleeves leaving the other up.

He once catched the other inside the bathroom cutting himself. He can still remember the way Jeongin smiled with tears in his eyes while cutting himself.

I can't do this anymore

Pretend thats all I do...

I'm sorry Jinnie but I can't do this anymore...

So tired...

Hyunjin read one by one, tears falling on the paper. He knew about the younger being tired. They talked about it once.

"Jinnie-hyung I'm getting tired... I don't think I can handle it anymore... Everything around me is just...just messed up."

"I know you're tired baby, but please hold on. Everything will be ok, it will pass. For me please, don't give up for me."

"Okay, for you."

He loved the younger boy too much to let him go. But he guess the younger boy got to tired. Too tired to the point where he ended it...

"Hyunjin-hyung, they're waiting for you," he heard someone say. He looks back and sees Jisung clad in an all black suit.

Hyunjin nods and places the note back in the box.

"It's not your fault you know," he hears Jisung say.

"I know, I just wish I could've done something."

"There was nothing you can do. He was already broken before you even entered his life. He-he was unfixable."

"I know Jisung-ah...I know..."

Hyunjin smiled sadly at Jisung and leads the way back. He looks back and a tear falls.

Beside Jeongins headstone where he left Jeongins glittery box, there stands Jeongin smilling at him. He smiles back and looks away with tears in his eyes.

He smiles softly and murmurs, "Innie baby, hope you're okay now. I love you..."

It was the faintest but he still heard it. It made him smile knowing the younger is ok now.

"Thank you for everything. I love you."