Him & I ( H.S ) Book 1 (Completed)

72

The car ride has been awfully quiet. Apart from the low sounds of Ed Sheeran playing through the speakers.

This is the first time I've ever been in Harry's company and been too nervous to talk. I don't want to say anything stupid or inappropriate. I can't even seem to come up with any small talk either.

But I keep telling myself it's only Harry. Why am I so nervous?

"What are you doing for Christmas?"
I finally pluck up some courage to ask him.

"I usually go to my mums. So i guess it will be the same this year. You?"

"I don't really celebrate Christmas" I tell him and he looks shocked.

"What? Why not? Are you like religious or something?"

I laugh a little. "No. I'm not religious. Just after my dad died, my mother was never around.
Skye only has her mum so she would spend the morning with her then come over in the evening with a bottle of wine and snacks and we would watch a movie together. I guess you would say that's our Christmas tradition. But now she has Liam so I don't know what will happen this year."

"I'm sure you can still spend the evening with Skye"

"I don't know" I shrug. "It's their first Christmas together. I don't want to get in the way of that"

He looks at me as if he feels sorry for me. But I don't want him to feel that way. After everything that's happened between us I don't deserve his pity.

He eventually pulls into a McDonald's drive-thru. "Are you hungry?"

"No I'm fine." I tell him. "If you wanted McDonalds why didn't you go to the 3 we already went past?"

"I'm not sure. I figured it would give us some time to talk. But i didn't really know what to say" he confesses.

"Me neither. I don't want to say the wrong thing so I just kept quiet."

"It's weird. Not in bad way. Just a way I'm not used too. It's incredibly different to how we used to be. I guess Niall was right when he said he was used to seeing us all over each other, it is kind of awkward. It feels like I don't know how to act around you. It's hard to explain myself. I'm not good at all this, taking about my feelings shit"

It's extremely difficult for me to sit here and see him so vulnerable. He is usually really talkative and now he is stumbling trying to get his words out. 

Harry orders his food, plus a black coffee and a mocha frappe which I instantly knew he got for me.

"Here you go" He says handing me the frappe. "When have we ever come to McDonald's without getting you one of these?" He moves the car and parks it in one of the empty parking spots. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I know you well enough to know you are going to take some of my fries anyway so" he puts his hand in the take away bag and pulls out a large box of fries. "I got a large to share"