Another Wrong Turn?

Chapter Twenty: Mending Another Broken Heart

            “I didn’t tell you that I love you because I’m afraid to fall in love again. I just can’t fall in love again. I don’t want to experience the loss, the pain—everything that I felt when Patricia died. I don’t want to experience that again. That’s why I don’t want to love you because I’m afraid if I’m ever going to lose you, I’ll never survive. I love you more than her, Victoria and it scares the shit out of me. I never thought there would be someone I’d love more than Patricia but here you are.”

            Ian stared at me, still watching my expression intently. His grip on my hands loosened. I sighed and the last tear fell from my eyes. “I don’t want to make another wrong turn, Ian. I don’t want to be hurt again.”

            “I won’t. I will never hurt you.”

            I looked up at him. “But you lied to me. You lied to me and I don’t know whether you’re telling the truth or not. I’m sorry, Ian, but I can’t…”

            And with that, I left the room without another word. I was half-expecting that Ian would come back to me and stop me from leaving. But instead, he just stood there, not moving and not looking at me, as if he’s frozen on that spot forever.

            I open the door with a loud thud and didn’t even react when I saw Suzanne and Vince having a heavy make out session on the couch. When they saw me, they quickly broke apart and waited for my yell of a surprise or something. But instead, I just slammed the door shut and walked slowly to the stairs, ignoring their stares.

            It was already nine in the evening and when I left Ian’s house, I went straight to the park and stared at the people around me. Typically on that time, couples were having a walk or something. Today was worst. It’s like everywhere I go in the park, couples would be there, holding hands, kissing or just, you know, having their PDA moments. It seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t have a date and of course, I felt out of place.

            Anyway, it was Vince who first realized something was wrong. “Victoria? Victoria, are you okay?”

            I ignored him and continued walking on the stairs. Then suddenly, a hand grabbed my wrist. I turned my head and saw Suzanne, frowning at me. “What happened?”

            And with that, I burst into tears and slumped down the stairs. Suzanne gasped and sat beside me while Vince walked over, looking at me worriedly.

            “He used me,” I croaked. “He freaking used me. He said he used me because I look like her. I made another wrong turn… I shouldn’t have loved him. But I did and I hate me for it. He told me he loved me and he used me in the past… But I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. Oh God, what am I going to do?”

            “Are you talking about Ian?” Vince growled.

            “What do you expect?” Suzanne snapped at him. Then she turned to me. “I’m sorry this all happened to you, Victoria… again. But you need to stay strong. Ian doesn’t deserve your tears so stop crying for him. Crying won’t change things so stop it. This is part of life and we should move on. It might be not the way you want it to be, but… its life.”

            “Life is unfair,” I wailed. “Why do I have to be hurt twice? Once is enough! Is this some kind of sick joke? Is my life just a game that others wanted to mess with?”

            “Well, at least you have us,” Suzanne said tenderly. “Miranda, Vince, Evan and I are here for you. We are not going to leave you, Victoria. We won’t leave you on the ground. We’ll help you.”