62. Change of Plans

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August 1st 2015, London

"Jade Evans is taking a break from touring with One Direction.

The girl has announced over Twitter that she decided to head back to the England to deal with some "stress that built up over the past couple of months". 

"Jade has been dealing with a lot of stress recently and is flying back to the U

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"Jade has been dealing with a lot of stress recently and is flying back to the U.K. to recuperate," a statement released by the singer publicist said. "The One Direction boys wish her well and will obviously continue with their performances in the US. We don't know if she'll be replaced or she will go back on tour. Further info coming soon."

According to the news, the singer pulled out of the scheduled concert in Indianapolis because of a panic attack and immediately flew back to London to be with her family and recover. We wish her well and hope to see her on stage soon."

Simon read out loud. I was sitting in his office. My team was in the room with me. Saying they were disappointed was an understatement. They were all looking at me like I was an alien. Hell, they probably hated me for my behavior... for leaving the tour they had been so happy and satisfied about... for leaving the tour that was making them earn a lot of money. 

"You know what this looks like, darling?" Simon suddenly asked, "like you can't handle this kind of life" he paused, "and I reckon you remember that back in October you promised me you'd be able to handle it..." 

"I'm sorry" I looked down 

"I know you are" he faked a laugh, "but that doesn't make it any better... or easier, for us to decide what to do with you" 

"What do you mean?" I asked, panicking 

"I mean that your behavior has been unacceptable for a couple of months now... but the problem with you is that the public loves you... the media loves you... you're very talented... you manage to climb charts even if you're new to the industry... and I can't give it up honestly" he said and I sighed with relief 

"I didn't plan my panic attacks, Simon" I stated, "it's not something I can control... unluckily" 

"I know that" he shook his head, "your anxiety is not the reason you're here for" 

"Then why am I here?" I asked, confused 

"You let your private control your life to the point you weren't able to separate it from your job... and that's not okay... especially considering what kind of job you have... you have everybody's eyes on you, all the time..." he said, "the difference between Harry and you is that he's able to hide it all... He's going through a breakup, just like you are, but have you seen pictures of him being sad on stage or with fans? No, because he makes sure to put up a smile for them. He knows that they deserve to see what they paid for: his goofy self and hear his stupid jokes"

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