Marble Hornets Randomness

sALtY

Alex: Jay, I have some watermelon in the fridge... If you wanted any

Jay: Sure. Is it like, a whole watermelon or is it sliced

Alex: why in the fuck would I put a whole watermelon in the fridge

Jay: I don't know

Alex: take some

Jay: alright -grabs a plate, and grabs a piece of watermelon then sits down at his dining table-

Alex: -cleaning dishes or some shit-

Jay: Do you have any salt?

Alex: yeah I have salt, but why do you need it?

Jay: because I put salt on watermelon and apples and stuff

Alex: why

Jay: because people that have an increased amount of sodium in their diet die at a younger age

Alex: ah. I'll get some watermelon myself... -gets a piece of watermelon on a plate and then sits across from Jay-

Jay: -grabs the salt from off the table which he just realized was there because he's a dumbass-

Alex: can you pass the salt

Jay: sure

Alex: -watches him hand the salt over to him-

Jay: -passes salt to Alex-

Alex: thanks

Jay: no problem

Alex: -takes off the lid-

Jay: what

Alex: -pours all of the salt in the container onto Jay's piece of watermelon-

Jay: what the fuck

Alex: you said people die if they eat a bunch of salt

Jay: not instantly

Alex: well we've gotta start somewhere

Jay: I'm not eating this

Alex: well you should, it's good for you. Watermelon helps ummm... It helps people... function correctly

Jay: don't you have more watermelon

Alex: no I don't

Jay: -whispers- ass...

Alex: what

Jay: nothing

Alex: just eat it okay

Jay: I'm not

Alex: do it, you wimp

Jay: why don't you eat it

Alex: I'm not gonna eat it because that isn't my piece of watermelon, it's yours

Jay: you fuckin' sabotaged my watermelon

Alex: so? It isn't mine. Now eat it and suffer the conseq— Eat it and... be happy and healthy!...

Jay: -takes a bite, spits it out-

Alex: dude I will force feed you

Jay: no!

Alex: just eat it please

Jay: -tries to take another bite, gags-

Alex: GOD YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY

Jay: aHHHH

Alex: IT ISN'T THAT HARD

Jay: THEN DO IT YOURSELF

Alex: FUCK NO

(What even is this lmao)

-the next day-

Jay: Am I in a coma

Alex: Sweetheart, I don't think so

Jay: I'm in a coma aren't I. The fuckin' government forbids you to tell the t—

Alex: -grabs pillow and threatens to suffocate Jay with it, then throws it down and smiles-

Jay: I know I'm in a coma

Alex: -grits teeth- I don't think so, Jay

Jay: But I'm in a coma. I ate too much salt. Actually no I'm not in a coma—

Alex: finally

Jay: I'm dead

Alex: You are a failed abortion, I just know it

Jay: Actually I was a miracle

Alex: The word you're looking for is mistake

Jay: I need to throw up

Alex: not in my house

Jay: ack -cough-

Alex: nnOT IN MY HOUSE

(Should I continue this chapter because why the fuCk Not. I think I said that I would continue the last chapter as well but MenhGghHhemrh)