Alex: -on the phone with Brian- BrIAN. IT'S URGENT.
Brian: hey Alex...
Alex: I NEED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION
Brian: what's that?
Alex: is it okay to like no one
Brian: yeah
Alex: is it okay to like one person
Brian: yeah ummm... I don't know why you had to call me for t—
Alex: is it okay to like two people
Brian: dude, of course
Alex: three?
Brian: mhmm
Alex: okay fine. What if I am dating one out of the three people I like...
Brian: that's fine
Alex: what if I'm dating two out of the three people I like...
Brian: that's not good...
Alex: okay okay. What if I'm dating three out of the three people I like
Brian: -hangs up-
Alex: SHIT
Jay: sooooOooOoo... are we gonna have some hot sex tonight, Alexxxx
Alex: uhhHhhh
Jay: hmMmmmm
Alex: I actually um, I actually am attending something tonight...
Seth: hey guys! Hey Alex... Remember how I told you to go to my place tonight?
Alex: -gulps- yeah! S-sure did!
Amy: -walks in- Happy Anniversary Alex~
Alex: FUCK
Seth: -eying Amy-
Jay: -eying Seth-
Amy: what's wrong
Alex: NOTHING. NOTHING.
Seth: you said that you were going to my house tonight, Alex
Amy: no way! We were gonna go have some fucking bedroom time tonight, dumbass
Jay: he said we were gonna fuck tonight...
Alex: aha hah... hah
Amy: bruh
Alex: I'M SORRY OKAY???? I CAN'T JUST DECLINE IT WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LIKE ME! I ACCEPT IT! I LOVE ALL OF YOU, ALRIGHT??
Amy: but it's our annive—
Seth: NO ONE GIVES AN ACTUAL SHIT
Jay: BBUUUUT—
Seth: *unholy demon screeches*
Alex: -clears throat- I'm sorry, alright?
-later that night-
Alex: -calls Brian-
Brian: ugHhhhHH. ALEX. I'M KINDA BUSY
Alex: how busy are you
Brian: HAVING-SEX-WITH-TIM-BUSY
Alex: so that's like a 11/10 of the business scale?
Brian: YES
Tim: -weird sex noise-
Alex: ah. Uh. Well... I need some help
Brian: WHAT IS IT
Alex: okay so Seth invited his friend Lennon... to join our little party
Brian: YEAH, AND?
Alex: and... We were all gonna have sex so now it's like a fivesome, like a uhhh a um a yeah whatever. Sex between five people. How the fuck is this gonna work
Brian: You messed yourself up that bad...
Tim: -louder sex noises-
Brian: Tim shHhhsshshHhsSSHHH
Tim: -awkward nOISE-
Alex: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Brian: make them wait their turns? Make them do stuff and then you do stuff? Fuck, I don't know... I rreeeeaaallly need to go now
Alex: OkOKOKOK THANKS BYE
Brian: -hangs up-
Alex: I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASSIGN YOU ALL YOUR OWN LITTLE POSITIONS, ALRIGHT?
Everyone: -nods-
Alex: LENNON, SETH. YOU DO STUFF. JAY... I GUESS WE'LL DO WHATEVER. AND AMY, YOU GO IN THE CORNER.
Amy: why???
Alex: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO YOU DUMB BITCH
Amy: rude
Alex: PLEASE GO
Amy: okay fine... -sits in the corner-
Alex: ALRIGHT
-later-
Amy: -literally eating a corn muffin while sobbing and watching them all have a gang bang-
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This very crumpled up receipt thing makes me wanna kill myself. 1202. SO CLOSE. uhHhhGGHHH.
Also that receipt-ish-order-thing was on a salad and the lid to the salad thing cut my finger so yay
