Marble Hornets Randomness

ReLaTioNshIp AdvIce -With Brian

Alex: holy shit what's this weird tape that I found in this cabinet

Jay: tAPE

Alex: NO. JAY.

Jay: -hiSSS-

Alex: TIME TO GO WATCH IT

-ten minutes later-

Alex: the fuck is this

Brian: hello there. Welcome to, Relationship Advice with Brian

Alex: what

Jay: wow Brian's being cool again

Alex: shut up

Jay: alrighty

Brian: tip 1. Give your girlfriend or boyfriend cute nicknames

Alex: what the fuck is this

Brian: -leaves the room for two seconds-

Hoodie: -comes back- one example, is whore ass slut

Alex: uh

Hoodie: tip 2. Kinky shit is the best shit

Jay: what does that mean

Alex: stop

Hoodie: like for example... collars and leashes! Very kinky...

Alex: mm

Hoodie: -points the camera at Seth- Hey Seth!

Seth:  -is tied to a pole, wearing a collar- W-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT

Hoodie: IT'S A FUCKING SHOCK COLLAR, DAMMIT. YOU MAKE ONE WRONG MOVE AND YOU'LL BE IN ELECTRIC AVENUE

Seth: -inTERNALLY SCREAMING-

Alex: My babyyyy no

Jay: excuse me, what

Hoodie: -points the camera back at himself-

Alex: well it's 100% obvious that Brian is that hooded douche now

Jay: well duh... can't you tell by his walk?

Alex: I don't pay attention to people's walks

Jay: but you could tell by his ass

Alex: Jay

Jay: yes

Alex: stop~

Hoodie: tip 3. Don't be rude to them, they're people too! So don't treat them like dogs or some shit like that

Seth: HELLO

Hoodie: being ironic is fun

Seth: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUN? BEING TIED TO A POLE

Hoodie: I WILL FUCKIN ZAP YOU

Seth: WITH WHAT

Hoodie: I DON'T KNOW? MY COOL ZAPPER— THing

Seth: EAT SHIT

Hoodie: -zaps him???-

Seth: aGH. IT'S AT A HIGH VELOCITY. MY EARS ARE RINGING. THE GROUND IS SHAKING. I CAN'T FEEL MY RIGHT NIPPLE.

Hoodie: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Jay: are they ok

Alex: does it look like they're ok

Jay: yeah

Alex: see, this is why I don't like you

Jay: yeah you don't like me... you love me

Alex: in your dreams, sweetheart

Jay: omg you just called me something cute

Hoodie: tip 4. Kill them

Seth: ????????

Hoodie: I was joking

Seth: SURE

Hoodie: I WILL FUCKING ZAP YOU AGAIN, MOTHER FUCKER

Seth: GO AHEAD

Hoodie: I'M NOT PARTICULARLY IN THE MOOD AT THIS EXACT MOMENT. SO CONSIDER YOURSELF PRETTY GOD DAMN LUCKY

Seth: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY IT TH—

Hoodie: -zZZZAP-

Seth: FFFFUCK

Alex: I like that tip

Jay: hm?

Alex: I love you

Jay: rEALLY????

Alex: yeah. Now I'm gonna shoot you. Lol

Jay: hahhahahhhhh... really?

Alex: m-hmm

Jay: awe

Alex: what

hELP
HELP mE
-dying inside-
Idk what this is
I've CHANgED