Lose Myself

Chapter Fifty-Seven: This Is Us

*sorry if this is a little boring, idk. I'm getting somewhere though!

Dominic

We tried hard to stop it from happening but with Alex's approval and his father's lack of involvement, Alfie was past the point of return. It had killed me, I'd never lost my temper like I did last night and it opened my eyes to something. Alfie wasn't counted upon to give them anything, the kid chose to and it was surely enough his own choice. He wanted to be strong, he wanted to contribute. My kids would be awaited, as painful as it was there was always that vow you took to your familia. Vows are promises, they must be kept.

It sucks.

"You know, if you keep pulling faces like that Carmyne might learn them from you." Amara casually warned me as she picked up a blanket and folded it.

I rubbed my eyes, "I think we need to sort something out."

"You're thinking about Alfie." she placed the folded fabric next to her as she sat.

"Of course I am."

"Carmyne would have to do it too. She's the eldest, girl or not." Amara said it like a fact. I groaned.

"But -"

"I think I fear her - them - being helpless without us, more than them going through the worst." she interrupted, "What would suck is them regretting the decision we made. Be real for a second Dominic, if you're not strong - in this world you burn."

"It's not okay."

"In the institution there are professionals who can teach, who can make it happen." she let out a breath, she probably didn't expect she'd ever say this in her life, "I see now that without that we'd be at the hands of god knows who, maybe even dead. We won't live forever and we can't be around all the time." She'd had plenty more time than I had with feelings, so she'd had plenty of time to think things over - she was far wiser than I was.

"I get it. I'll do it then."

She frowned, "Do what?"

"I'll teach Carmyne, I'll teach them myself."

"Okay." she said standing to put the blanket away.

"One thing." I held up a finger, she turned to face me closing the cupboard in the foyer.

"Yeah?"

"We'll never rejoin the mafia."

"Deal."

After lunch was sat at the table with a blank piece of paper, I knew there'd come a time in my life where I'd have to put down a plan - one for my family and their future. Today was that day and now was that time, I'd make a life for my kids where death wasn't an expectation at every corner you turn.

"You want to build an estate." she said droning with a 'don't be a fool' look in her eye.

I nodded, "With facilities and stuff, why just train our kids and leave it at that?"

She rubbed her temple, "Sorry what are you talking about?"

"We build an estate and include facilities et cetera in there, we train our kids using those resources and start a generational thing. Like a new familia without the mafia."

"Like X-men?"

It was my turn to pull the 'don't be a fool' look. "No, Amara."

"That's what it sounds like!" her tone was defensive.

"Well, at least you get the idea." I sighed. She grinned.

"So it is like X-men."

I waved it off, "Non importa."