Lose Myself

Chapter Forty: You Saved Me

Amara

I hummed the song 'Demons' before singing a little of the lyrics out loud, "Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."

I felt like the song connected with Dominic and I, anyone who'd been through what we've been through. It was on my playlist of forty other songs but still I only played that one. 

Whilst I've been here at least.

I hadn't budged since I lay here, only to do basic necessities of course but otherwise never left this room. It's been two weeks...

The doctor had said one, everyone was already giving up but very few held on - Claire kept telling me that it was my hope that held the ones that did to their belief. Here where majority disagreed.

"Okay, time to shower." Claire entered the room, heading for the curtains like she does almost every time, "You've been at his bedside for the entire two weeks, and though I love the fact - you've only showered about six times Amara. Therefore, not everyday."

"You're right." I stood, "Poor Dominic has to suffer my company, I probably stink."

She sighed dragging the last curtain and grabbing my towel for me, then bringing it to me and rolling her eyes at my exasperation to get up. 

After getting out of the bathroom I came out to Claire brushing hair out of her brother's face. She spoke as soon as she heard my presence, "I wanted to thank you again for getting the antidote. I didn't think you knew this but the doctor kept some and they took it back to the research centre, they're working on  making some more or at least another dose - for Leo."

"That's good." I replied shrugging on one of Dominic's t-shirts and some fluffy socks. I walked to the bed and sat cross-legged on my side. 

"Amara," she sighed, "How do you know that this will work? What made you so sure?"

"When I was in the German institution I was almost given the treatment myself, but I managed to pull out of it." I snorted remembering the situation, "The doctor assigned to me had a tiny crush on me, so I promised him - with my fingers crossed obviously - my virginity once I turned eighteen. If he would just let me keep my emotions, I wouldn't ask for anything else."

"That is so," she paused, "Conniving."

I smiled, "Thank you."

"I have to go, I'm guessing you're not coming with - so..." she stood and smiled sadly at her brother before walking to the door.

"Claire," I said causing her to stop, "Why aren't you as affected by this?"

"I am," she replied, "But I've also lost a brother before and this brother - the one you look at so lovingly - he told me that sitting around and doing nothing, letting all your systems fail won't do anything. Whether the person survives or not, the outcome is still the same in the end - with or without your input."

I smiled, "What an intelligent brother you have."

"And what a considerate wife he has." she said before closing the door behind her.

--

I don't think much had set in my  mind over the past couple of weeks, I'd been somewhat fine through all of this but I could feel myself slowly becoming aware of my situation. Its been over a week and he's still under, I haven't cried a drop yet. That meant when I did cry, I wouldn't be able to stop until I cried myself dry. And god help when we ran out of medication, I'd be thrown out of here faster than Vince Bogart with a shotgun.

I moved my hair to one shoulder and laid down beside him, he was simply there. But not there.

Dominic