Lose Myself

Chapter Thirty-Six: Bad Decisions

Dominic

I rolled over, I hadn't slept in this bed for so long. It was hard to imagine where I was with my eyes closed, I didn't think I'd ever be back here. 

If I was being honest, I didn't enjoy my time here. I wanted to be with Amara - wherever she went because it was always interesting and entertaining being around her. She was bubbly and alive, its was inspiring.

Speaking of which, I'd forgotten to pass by her apartment so that would be one of the things I do today. Alongside hiring a new assistant.

Tonight I'll go home.

--

"Welcome back." Sierra smiled from behind the counter, I sent a brief smile her way and continued into the office. 

Marcello was late. 

I put some things into folders, labelling them and dating them. So that the bastard didn't mess up as easily, he was so unorganised and appeared to have no sense of direction. 

I heard the click of the door as Marcello walked. "I saw the line of hot babes outside and just had to join, what is this?"

"We're interviewing for a new assistant. Hopefully someone reliable."

He sat down, flinging his jacket over his seat. "The last one was not reliable." he commented.

"Shut up, she left because of me." I growled. He's been talking sh-t since yesterday, he was tiring to be around. He just looked at me as the first girl walked in but his attentions soon shifted.

They were all bimbos. Hardly qualified as far as I was concerned.

Amara

It was morning, second morning and coming to be a third night without Dominic within ten metres of my body. How... frustrating.

I opened my eyes, the rest of my senses came to life and I soon became aware of my state. 

I was shaking violently - abnormally, I felt cold as usual but certain parts of my body - my collar bone area, wrists, stomach and knees - were very hot. My heartbeat was very fast, I felt a need. I felt the need to hurt something, a lamp? Maybe a couch.

My fists felt untouched, needing something. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but the worst came to mind - maybe I wanted to hurt people? I've had the urge before but never so... consciously. I wasn't going to fight it, I didn't like the restricting feeling I had all over me. I wanted to test a hypothesis of mine. 

I stood speaking to no one, "Exhibit A." I scratched my nose, "If I were to do something ...crazy, would Dominic come back?"

There was only one way to find out. I was already halfway there.

I closed my eyes, I could visualise a bubble that blocked me from my core. I focused on letting myself go, watching it crumble apart and instantly I felt lighter.

I loved flushing away the control.  The regiment way of life I'd had. 

I was finally free. Free to forget. To play for fun. 

To play crazy.

Dominic

The fifth girl walked out, I turned to the bastard. "You can't hire someone simply for their good looks."

He quit staring dreamily at the door, "Why not? Isn't that what you did?"

"She didn't work for this company! You're confused. She was an interior designer hired for the one project, she didn't have to stick around with you. I can see why a person wouldn't want to." I was very frustrated.