Lose Myself

Chapter Thirty-Eight: I'm Sorry

Dominic

"Do you understand?" I wanted to confirm just incase, I couldn't have this bastard running amuck and telling everyone I gave him the right to do so.

"Totally." he replied. I nodded standing up and turning to leave, "Hey Vincent!" he shouted after me, "Tell Amara to call me if you f-ck up. She gives me some good vibes, that girl is crazy."

"Vince, shut up." I said before slamming his door shut.

I thought back to what we talked about, I would allow Vince to rebuild his familia and recruit whoever and whatever - in turn he would leave my familia alone, lay off my wife and stay away from my family. Which now included Clarissa. I'd promised him as much.

We agreed to stay out of each other's business and that was that.

Amara

I wasn't going to stop, they better stop hoping I will. I'm not a p-ssy, they're p-ssies! The whole lot.

I grunted continuously slamming my foot into the door, try different ways so I could kick more effectively. I smiled as a hole started to form in the thick wooden door, I kept going. 

Leo came around every once in a while telling me to stop but I wouldn't listen, I was tired of being held up in here and I wanted to go now. I kept kicking, the progress I made became larger as the spot I kept hitting became more shallow and much weaker. I would bust a hole in this door and thats all I'd need. I'll kill all these ignorant bastards and find Dominic.

Dominic is all that matters.

I keep kicking it and finally a hoe breaks through, I step towards the door and am taken back as the door swings towards me. "Hey watch it!" It hits me square in the face, I could feel a bruise starting to form.

A number of men grab me, I wrangle around kicking and flinging but it doesn't help. One of them punches me in the stomach to stop me from moving but I am not weak. Another punches my chest but not my breast - had it been my breast I would've sliced his entire hand off. He winded me though, which wasn't great. As soon as I faltered I was shoved to the concrete floor and held tight whilst a needle was inserted into my arm. They held me as long as it took the drug to take effect, I was all too familiar with the process.

This drug they were using would immobilise me but it had its side effects, side effects that the scientists actually favoured. The drug would make you hallucinate, think deeper than just your thoughts - if you will - and by doing that you open up a little more. Santo was making it easier for him to ask me questions, the bastard sure was something else.

Scum of the earth.

As soon as I lost all control of myself they let me go, standing and exiting. I took note of their faces.

He crouched in front of me, "I will pick at every inch of your brain."

"There is a method to my insanity." I tapped my skull.

"You're sick. There is no method for that."

I could feel my mind slipping, "I'm not sick. I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure."

"There is, and you had it."

"There is no cure!" I blew up but then calmed again, "There is only treatment." I whispered.

"Go to bed." he walked towards the door.

The room went dark. I remember in the institution I couldn't switch on my own lights, so I sat in the dark like this and sang songs for all the other people. I found myself singing again, but for myself.