Lose Myself

Chapter Nine: Return Home

"And that took you 24 hours?" I said in disbelief. He nodded. "What the f-ck." I muttered rubbing my temple. Maybe if I convince him that I'm totally down for whatever he's offering, I can kick him in his man parts and make a run for it. I stood thinking about all the things I owned here, it would be a pain but I could ditch it. My clothes were replaceable. Any material things were replaceable. And I had my phone, wallet and keys in my handbag. All the things I truly need were in that bag, I could purchase some sneakers from the nearby thrift store and check a one-way ticket to Japan with the little data I had left. I'd have to top that up too, but everything was do-able at this point.

I'd always wanted to go to Japan, I thought about going there but I didn't think I'd actually have to... I really thought New York was going to work out.

"Wait," I paused why hadn't I thought of this, "How did you even know I existed? There's no point in denying it, that would be stupid since its obvious you're well aware of our... situation."

"I'm in the mafia. Soon to be Capo dei Capi actually."

"Italian Mafia?"

"Yes."

"What do you want with me?"

"You are an asset and the second most skilled assassin in history. Very valuable."

"And as 'soon-to-be Capo dei Capi' you want me on your team because..." I dragged.

"Because, there is about four or five familia that are planning an alliance determined to wipe out my entire family."

"Look that's rough and all but I'm one person. Are you doing like a recruitment thing were you travel around the world and assemble your own personal 'Avengers'?" I joked.

"No, I was just looking for you."

"So you're not taking me back to Germany?"

"What? Of course not."

"It just doesn't make sense to me." I shook my head.

"I wanted to marry you."

I choked, not on anything in particular - just air and organs. I stared at him for the second time today with what I presumed was a shocked expression. "And how will that benefit you?"

"I won't be marrying Clarissa." he stated matter-of-factly.

"So you would be marrying me," I paused pointing to the ground then moving to my finger to another part of the ground, "to avoid marrying someone else." I said the last part drawing quick circles in the air as if I was circling the imaginary mind map I'd drawn.

"Yes." he said suspiciously, he was confused. "Is that a positive or negative observation?" He didn't understand women at all.

"Negative! You asshole!" I threw a throw cushion at his face and he caught it placing it in his lap making me even more frustrated. "All men are assholes!"

"No we're not." 

"You can't talk. You are probably the inventor of assholelism." I jabbed my finger at him, he brought his hand up and pushed it down slowly.

"You are confused," he said standing. "I will leave you to think about it." He turned to leave but I wasn't done, I stomped ahead of him and stood in front of him with my hands on my hips. He was at least two heads taller than me.

"Oh so you think just because I'm not thrilled to be marrying you that I'm confused?!" I shot, "I guess I should be so happy at the idea of marrying of you because it would be such a privilege, such an honour!" I over-enunciated the last part.

"So its a German accent." he mumbled thinking to himself.

"What?" I breathed - slightly out of breath.

"When I first met you you said my name wrong, I always wondered what accent it was. It's German."

"What are you even talking about?"

"When we had our first meeting, you were mocking me because I was not paying attention and when you said my name, you pronounced it incorrectly."

"You pronounced it incorrectly." I mimicked. He frowned.

"I'll go now."

"Wait!" I placed my palm on his chest once again ignoring the tingly feeling, "You owe me answers."

"And I can give them to you," he pulled a fake smile, "Another time."

"You want me to be your wife or not."

"Look Amara, we both know you don't have a future. I'd be doing you a favour." regret flashed in his eyes as soon as he'd said it, but just like before it disappeared and he was left looking emotionless.

I stared at him for a good few seconds then cleared my throat but it didn't help, "Fine," I croaked - don't cry, don't, "Maybe I'll marry Vince instead! He's my friend."

"Wait what are you talking about?"

"None of your business," I sneered, "And since I so obviously don't have a future, I'm going to-to-t-"

"Are you talking about Clarissa's brother?"

"Pardon?"

"Vince Bogart. Clarissa's brother." he looked worried but still he sounded calm and quiet, "He's going to be the Capo dei Capi of the Russian Mafia, as soon as his marriage next month."

"I've never asked what his last name was," I said hysterically throwing my arms up but still in a whisper tone, "but he lives next door we can just ask him." I nodded towards the wall and started walking away. He grabbed my wrist and brought a finger to his lips. He has nice lips.

"Are you insane?"

"Well - if he is Mr. Bogart then you can just kill him. You do that right? Cause I wouldn't understand any other reason you'd be asking for my help if not for the money." I glared at him again, what kind of mafia man doesn't know how to take risks?

"Why would you start an all out war like that?" he chastised, "obviously its a bad idea for his rival to just show up at his door step to 'check' if its him in there." he did a quotation dance at the word. "I wouldn't want you in trouble either, if he found out who you are he'd take you from me."

"Didn't you hear me when I said I would 'marry Vince instead'? That's kinda the point."

"You're impossible."

"Only to those who deserve it." I replied then rolled my eyes, "Look, he comes over like every night to ask about my day and sh-t. He'll come in today and I'll play it off, maybe find out his name. Then you can meet me at the office as if its an appointment and I'll tell you. You are my client after all, nothing wrong with that." I offered as he slowly let go of my hand.

Wonder where that awesome plan about kicking him in balls went Amara?

I sighed, "You have no idea how impossible you are." 

Impossible to resist.