Markiplier: Once Upon A Time

Mark:Reader~50 Shades of Fucked Up (calm down, fangirls)

"Honey? Where did you put the book?" Mark's voice drifted in from the living room as you sat on the kitchen counter.

"Somewhere in there," you managed to say. You were focused on drawing a squirrel for literally no reason at all.

"I can't find it!" Mark's frustration was apparent.

You and Mark had recently decided to go on an adventure. You bought two copies of 50 Shades of Gray and were reading it together.

This was not for sexual purposes. You were getting plenty of that without the aid of a horrible book. No, you simply wanted to read it with him so you two could make fun of it.

The whole thing had first started when Mark and you were talking about porn. Normally, this would be an awkward thing in a relationship, but come on. Have you met you two? I think that was a pretty normal topic of discussion.

You had asked Mark why men watched porn. Being confused about this, talking to a man would be the most clear way of discovery. You asked why men watched porn because it was all weird and gross.

He retorted asking why women read romance novels. He didn't get it. It was porn for women, but not porn. You didn't understand why men would want to watch what they can never have, and he didn't know why women were reading what would clearly never occur.

As Mark had put it, in answer to the question, "Men watch porn because we don't want to imagine anything. Unlike you women, we don't want to read when we're horny." This response made you laugh a little harder than you intended to, which is one of the reasons your neighbors are heavily concerned for your mental health.

So here you were, in the kitchen drawing a squirrel as your boyfriend frantically searched for the most overrated sexual fantasy ever written in human history.

"50 Shades of Fucking Hidden!" Mark shouted in aggravation.

"50 Shades of Bad Writing," you muttered, your pencil gliding across the page as the squirrel started to look almost as bad as a jumbo jet on fire.

"50 Shades of Lost As Fuck!" Mark said back, throwing something. "GODDAMN IT!"

"What'd you break this time, Hulk?" You said, sighing and walking into the living room.

"Nothing... I just can't find that damn book," Mark sighed, sitting down on the couch. "It's 50 Shades of Hiding From Me."

"Well that's not important," you said back, sitting next to him. "It's no matter if it's lost."

"But we spent money on it." His expression changed from angry to a pout, like a child whose candy was just eaten by Billy the bully. Except he wasn't a child. And it wasn't candy. It was a grown man pouting about his sex novel being lost. Bad analogy.

"It's no problem. That thing was 50 Shades of Fucked Up, anyway." You put a hand on his should to reassure him.

"You're right. It was shitty," he said with a small smile.

"Alright. That's a good boy. Now who wants ice cream?" You patted his head as he eagerly accepted this offer.

"50 Shades of Sherbet..." You heard Mark mumble as you walked away into the kitchen.

As undeniably sexual as that novel was, it was completely and unarguable horrendous. You both knew that. And as far as arousing goes, it pales in comparison to what you and Mark have.

End~

I hope you enjoyed this. I thought it may be funny. And it sure as hell was. Leave a comment suggesting another chapter title. Funniest/most bizarre title wins. I'm going to write another chapter using the winning title as my whole story idea for it. Noot noot, mother fuckers.