Sarah
"Fuck you 5sosfam" Michael yells out, waking me up. Oh shit. It's out. And based on his reaction right now, it's pretty bad. He's so engrossed in his game, that he doesn't realize I'm awake. I can tell by his stiff posture, and the veins popping out of his neck that he's pissed.
I open up twitter and holy shit. This totally did not go over well. I skim through my direct mentions, looking first at the ones from the other moms I've become good friends with and smile when I see how happy, and undeniably jealous they are. My mutuals are pretty evenly split between supportive and hate. But it's the other accounts that are bothering me. I knew I would get hate, but holy shit. Mikey's lane is usually the most chill, but we're also the most protective. It's all tolerable in the beginning, but it gets worse the more recent I get. There are even death threats. Seriously? These kids need to grow up. At least some of the larger update accounts are defending me. The hashtag is upsetting but only Michael and I understand the nature of our relationship, so I can blow that off.
I can handle this. I've been preparing myself for this. But now comes the moment of truth. I enter Grace's name and handle in the search and brace myself. Talk shit about me all you want, but don't fuck with my kids. Of course they've discovered her, they already know who I am and about Rob's death. Most of what I'm seeing is questions on how she can deal with it. That's not anything to worry about. As I'm about to close out twitter, a tweet catches my eye. One filled with hate directed at Grace. "Tell your mum to leave Michael alone or you will pay the price!" Oh hell fuck no! You do NOT threaten my daughter! I screenshot the tweet then block and report the account.
"FUCK YOU!" I yell as I throw my phone across the bed. Mikey jumps up from his game immediately and rushes over onto the bed with me.
"Shit, I didn't know you were awake. You were just on twitter, weren't you?" I nod my head because I'm too pissed to speak without yelling, and it's not Michael that I'm upset with. He takes me into his arms and rubs my back gently without a word. He knows that I need to cool down before saying anything. I love how he's picked up on that with me. Just another thing to make me fall even deeper.
Ten minutes later, I finally speak up. "I can handle the hate. I can even handle the death threats. But death threats at Grace? There's hell to pay for that one!"
Michael's entire body goes stiff and his hands begin to shake. He obviously didn't know about that part. Pissed doesn't even come close to describing him right now.
"Babe? Look at me," I tell him. His eyes look like they're about to spit out poison. No one in the fandom has ever seen a furious Mikey, and let me tell ya, it's quite scary. "I blocked and reported that account. But we need to address it and present a unified front to the fans. The sooner the better. Maybe get Ash, Luke and Calum in on the part towards Grace. You and I can handle our own situation, but I'll take all the help I can get with Grace. Maybe even call Josh. I can handle my own, but I'm not afraid to take advantage of any and all connections you have when it comes to defending and protecting my kids." He is still about to burst. He reaches for his phone, but I grab it from him. "Not until you calm down Mikey. We need to do this the right way."
I'm still pissed as hell, but letting the anger control me isn't going to help. We need to be calm and rational. I stand up and start the shower, then strip down out of my pajamas and use what I believe to be a seductive look to signal him to join me. There are three things that help calm us both down - alcohol, a hot shower or bath, and sex. Now's definitely not the time to go to alcohol, so I'm using the other two at once. I'm not ashamed.
It takes him but a minute to join me in the shower and as soon as he does, I press my lips to his. He's hesitant at first, but he eventually loosens up and kisses me back. When we separate, I drop to my knees in front of him, taking him in my mouth. After bringing him to orgasm, I stand back up and we just hold each other tight, letting the hot water take away any remnants of tension.
After we get out of the shower and get dressed, Mikey skype's Ashton, Luke and Calum. As soon as everyone's connected, I sit down next to Mikey and everyone starts talking at once about all the hate.
"Guys! Shut up a second!" I have to raise my voice to be heard over them all. They all shut up at once and look at me. Okay, that was freakishly in sync. These four truly act as one at times.
"We can get to the hate at me later. I don't care so much about that," I start. "But have any of you seen the shit at Grace?" Luke and Calum shake their head, but Ashton goes stark white. He has really taken to Grace, and I can tell he hasn't seen it yet.
"I've been checking, Sarah," Ashton says shakily, "but last I checked, it was just asking her what she thinks about it."
"That's mostly what there is, Ash, there's a few 'if I was her' or 'she must be livid' type tweets, but there was one that caught my attention. I blocked and reported it right away, but I need your help. Death threats against me is one thing, Mikey and I can deal with that ourselves. But death or harmful threats against Grace is completely different." We talk for a few minutes, and I send all four of them the screenshot of the tweet. While we're skyping, we decide that I need to tweet first. "Hate towards me is one thing, but don't EVER fuck with my daughter! Block & report" I include the screenshot and send out the tweet.
"Okay, it's sent." All four log on, block and report the account, then retweet my tweet. Calum retweets it from the band account, and Ashton retweets it from the Hi or Hey Records account. They each proceed to tweet out on their own, speaking their own thoughts on hate as well as how much they like Grace. After thanking them much more than they find necessary, we disconnect the call and I curl up in Michael's arms. "Send the screenshot to James as well," Michael tells me. I nod my head and hug him tight.
Now that I feel a little better about Grace, I can focus more on Mikey and I.
"Now what?" I ask him.
"I don't know," he answers perplexed. "But we should probably tell Grace what's going on." I nod my head and we walk upstairs together. Karen's setting out food on the table that the boys are shoving in their faces quicker than she can make it. "Mason! Casey! Don't be such pigs!"
"It's fine Sarah!" Karen laughs. "I fed 5sos for years, this is nothing!" Very true!Grace comes out shortly afterwards and the pale look on her face is terrified.
I immediately take her into the living room. I had hoped to catch her before she went on twitter, but I should've known better. Shit. This is the last thing she needs.
"Don't Mom!" she yells. "This is all your fault! Just take me home. I don't want to be here anymore!" Shit shit shit. I glance up at Mikey and he's already typing on his phone. Less than a minute later, her phone is ringing. I catch a glimpse of Ashton's contact picture on her phone before she runs out the back door.
"She's right," I say at the exact same time that Michael says "She's wrong." But she is right. It is my fault. I should've known how the hate would affect her. It's too much for her, and we were making such great progress. I can't let anyone or anything stop that.
"I can't do this Michael, I'm sorry!" I stand up and run out the front door. I need time to myself. I need to think. What am I doing? I can't do this to Grace. I was stupid to think I could.
"Babydoll wait!" Michael yells out after me as I make it to the sidewalk.
"No! I'm sorry Michael! I can't do this this! My kids comes first! Always! You know that! Leave me alone!" I start running down the sidewalk. I don't know where I'm going, but I need space to think, and I can't get that inside the Clifford's house.
