Michael
We do some weird swap gift exchange and somehow I end up with kitchen snowman towels. I still don't understand. Maybe I'll give them to Calum for his birthday.
I've also discovered that her family loves fried chicken. About as much as I love pizza. I've never seen so much fried chicken in my life! I'm sure Ashton has! Oh god I need to text him that! I haven't checked in with any of them recently anyway. They all wanted updates on Sarah and the kids, especially Sarah.
I text them when I have a minute to myself, which happens to be downstairs with Sarah's brothers. They seem really cool and I find myself hanging out with them the remainder of the time. When Jamey, her youngest brother fires up the Xbox, I know I'm set. Staying apart from Sarah will help with family rumors too. I hate having to keep this a secret. I guess not every family is as open as my own though.
I lose track of time playing with her brothers and uncle and don't realize how late it is until Sarah comes downstairs.
"Hey guys! We're doing shots! Who's in?" She calls from the staircase.
"Oh Frick yeah!" the older of the two, Matt, calls out, putting his remote down. Jamey stands up, "I'm in! I'm always up for shots with my sister!" She gets the cutest, most loving smile on her face that I can't ignore.
"You joining us, Mike?" her uncle asks.
"Oh, um, I'm not 21 yet," I say quietly. Now I feel out of place.
"Really? Wow. Well you can drink in Australia, right?"
"Yeah."
"Then come join us! And tell me, how is it that Sarah befriended someone so young?"
"I don't know, really," I'm still not sure how it all happened. "She's different. She's got such a big heart. And she's a ton of fun. I often forget about our ages," I tell him truthfully.
"Yeah, Sarah's a good egg. Been through a lot in her life and still smiling. First Tammy, now Rob? But she keeps going. She deserves some good in her life, ya know?" I nod and smile. Tammy? Who's Tammy? I'm really confused. I would ask, but we're upstairs already with shots being poured. I stand next to Sarah on the end.
"Tequila or Goldschlager?" her aunt asks. Tequila fucks me up and I'd rather not get hammered right now so I choose Goldschlager. I can guess that Sarah is, too, seeing her love of fireball. She and Matt both have it, so I'm guessing this is the brother she was talking about with the horchata. After a few shots, we call it quits and everyone starts to disperse for bed.
"Michael and I will stay downstairs with Matt and Jamey," Sarah tells her aunt. I was wondering how this was going to work.
"Are you sure? You guys can have Mary's room." her aunt asks. I'd love that, but I know the image she's trying to put out there.
"Oh no, that's fine. I kinda want to spend time with my brothers. I don't like being alone right now, especially at night, and Mike would stay downstairs regardless. But thanks." I'm not sure if that's true or just our story, but the moment I look in her eyes, I see it's the truth. This has been harder for her than she lets on. She starts downstairs when her aunt comes up to me.
"You really care about her don't you?" Busted!
I nod my head. "Yeah I do, she's really special."
"She's lucky to have you Mike. She can really use the support. And you already meant so much to her before you even met!"
"Yeah, she told me about that." I smile. I see why this aunt and uncle are her favorite. Super nice and fun loving people.
She pats my shoulder and bids me good night and I follow Sarah down to the basement.
I excuse myself to the bathroom and when I come out, she is curled up on the floor with Jamey in the middle of a conversation.
"It's just a front. I have to put on a strong face for the kids. And I don't want to bring down the spirit for everyone today. Everyone loves coming here for Christmas because it's laid back and fun. I didn't want to ruin it. I almost didn't come, but the kids need Mary and Di right now. They need something normal."
"You sound like Dad right now." Matt joins the conversation, laying on the floor on the other side of Sarah. I quietly sit on the couch next to Ari, Jamey's girlfriend. "How he was when mommy died. The first time I ever saw him cry over her was after Jamey graduated. Like he was finally allowed now that everyone was grown." Oh shit. Tammy must be her mom. I never knew. By the way Matt referred to her as Mommy I think they were young. That would explain the age gap between Sarah and Jamey.
"It's okay to cry, Sarah. You are allowed." Jamey says to her, which is all it takes. She starts sobbing into his chest and Matt curls up as the big spoon behind her. I set my phone silent and sneak a picture. This is what families are all about. They remind me of Calum and Mali.
Five minutes later, my phone buzzes with a text from Ashton asking how she's doing.
To Ash
She was strong all day with family but she can't anymore
*img attached*
To Ash
Her younger brothers
To Mike
Aww Tell her we luv her and miss her. She needs u Mike
To Ash
Will do
Sarah
I wake up the next morning on the couch in Michael's arms. What the hell? I'm not complaining, but last I remember, I was curled up with Jamey and Matt, crying. Mikey's holding me tight so I won't fall off the couch so I turn towards him and snuggle myself into him even more. I love when he holds me. Everything feels right in the world, even when it's far from it.
I'm lying in his arms deep in thought when I hear, "What the? Grace? Look! What?" Shit. Mary.
"Mary, come on. My dad just died, her husband. They're friends and she needs a friend right now. She tries to be happy all day, but I hear her crying every night. Let her have someone to hold while she cries." How did my daughter become so smart? So mature? I love her so much.
"But... It's Michael Clifford!"
"Yeah, I know Mary! But can you put the fangirl away and see him as my moms friend? Please? I know it's hard to do sometimes, but can you do it for my mom?"
"Okay, you're right." I hear the squeaking of steps and then the door at the top opening and closing. Only then do I dare taking a deep breath. Mikey starts rubbing my back and kisses the top of my head.
"You hear that, too?" I whisper.
He nods, "Yeah."
"Maybe this is a bad idea Mikey."
"Sarah, if you're saying that because of some 15 year old who can't stop seeing me as part of 5sos, then please stop. But if you're saying this because that's how you feel, then I will leave right now. I'm not trying to make things hard for you, Sarah. Just the opposite. I'm just trying to help. You stay so strong for everyone else, let someone be strong for you. I care about you, Ash cares about you, and Cal and Luke, too. They told me to tell you they love you and miss you by the way. You have friends and family who care about you. Don't take this burden on your own when you don't have to. It doesn't have to be me, just don't be afraid for it to be somebody. Anybody." I ask myself again how is he only 20?
I squeeze him tight and thank him before starting to get up. He groans in complaint at me when I do, so I lie back down, taking every minute in his arms that I can get.
"He's right, Sarah." Matt finally says. I didn't realize that he was awake. "I can't quite tell what exactly is going on with you two, but I can tell there's something. And you know that I am the last person to judge." Right, Lori, his girlfriend, is still technically married. But I'm the only one that knows that. "But you're not alone, and you don't have to be. Everyone's here for you, everyone understands. You don't have to be strong all the time. But at the same time, you're allowed to be happy, too. We've talked a lot about things with Rob and I know you loved him, but I know you weren't happy either. If Mike here makes you happy, who cares what anyone thinks. The only thing any of us want to see is for you to be happy."
"Thanks Matt. I love you."
"I love you, too."
