Sarah
Oh my god! I can't believe that I am about to get on a plane to go back to Sydney! It feels like it's been 4 years, when in fact it's only been 4 months. I talked to Ness the other day and we agreed to meet up while we're there. She wants to get to meet the kids, and would love to see Mikey and I. God, so much has changed.
I'm really excited to show the kids Sydney, but I'm also terrified about this trip. We are still taking precautions, but aren't hiding it anymore, so I'm sure twitter will be blowing up soon. I called Ashton the other day and let him know what was going on. Before I could even mention Grace and the kids, he told me he'll keep an eye out on twitter for things against her, so I gave him her handle and username. He also said he'll reach out to her regularly to check on her. It's the things like this that make me love Ashton so much, as a fan, as a mom, and as a friend. But yet even with all this, I'm still terrified. I have this bad feeling that I just can't shake, and I hate every bit of it.
"Sarah, babydoll, relax." Mikey can always sense when something is wrong. Sometimes I swear that boy's a mind reader. "I know you're scared. I am too. Not for me, but for you and the kids. But you need to remember that nobody knows the actual truth except for you and I. It's not possible because they haven't lived in our shoes. The only thing that matters is that I am truly madly deeply in love with you."
"Savage Garden? Really?" He was what? 2? 3?
"Worlds Best Selling Australian Artist! Mum listened to them ALL the time."
"I knew I liked your mum!" He gets quite an amused expression on his face. What? I can't figure out what I could've said that is so funny! I got along with Karen quite well when I was actually being myself.
"What?!" I finally ask him. I give up!
"Mum? You called her mum!" Ohhh I did, didn't I? I shrug. "That's what you call her. I guess it kinda wore off."
"Uh, Mikey?" Grace asks as we get out of the car at the airport long term parking. When he turns to her, she continues, "What are we supposed to call your mom and dad? I mean, I'm afraid I might accidentally call her Momma Clifford." We both laugh and she starts to get pink in the cheeks.
"We're not laughing at you, Gracey," he tells her. Only her dad and I have ever called her Gracey, and I can tell she's not sure what to think about it. "We're laughing because your mum asked me the same thing when she met her. Just call them Mr and Mrs Clifford. They'll tell you what to call them after that." She nods and looks to me. I give her a sheepish grin that let's her know I understand and I caught that, too.
After passing through customs and checking in our luggage, he takes us all to the VIP lounge, then I take Grace to the restroom. I want to know how she feels before I say anything to Mikey.
"Gracey, I'm sure he didn't know. He hears me call you that all the time. Just like in soccer, when Jacob's mom always calls him Jay and I find myself calling him that from time to time? But I need to know if it bothers you. If it does, I'll let him know and I'm sure he won't call you that ever again. He doesn't ever want to hurt you, you know that right?" She nods in response and takes a deep breath before responding.
"It's not so much that he called me Gracey that bothers me, Mom. It's just... I don't know. It bothers me that it didn't bother me if that makes any sense. I mean, only you and Dad call me Gracey, and Mikey? It seems to almost fit for him to call me that too. That's weird isn't it? Oh my god I'm so screwed up."
"Gracey, stop. Look at me." She's getting herself all worked up and I need to calm her down, fast. "It's weird for all of us, okay? It's weird for me, it's weird for the boys, and it's definitely weird for Mikey, too. He's become part of this family somehow and he loves you three kids so much. I know it seems weird because of his age, but look at it this way, he lives on his own, travels the world, owns his own company... Does that sound like a peer? Like someone your age?" She shakes her head. "Exactly. You look up to him as more than a peer, as more that 5sos, and it scares you. And that's okay. It scares him too." She hugs me tight and starts to cry. I just hold her and rub her back until she stops. She wipes her face, fixing her makeup as much as possible, then we walk back out to the lounge.
"Thanks Mom."
Michael
They've been gone for awhile and it's really worrying me. I could tell that something is wrong, I just have no idea what. The boys are playing on their phones, so the only thing I can do is worry. Did I mess up? Did I say something? Do something?
After 20 minutes, they come back and on one hand I'm quite relieved, but at the same time, I can tell Grace has been crying. I look between the two of them and they seem to be communicating without words, and then Grace nods her head and sits down, putting in her earbuds.
Sarah pulls me off to the other corner of the lounge and speaks quietly to keep it between us.
"Is Grace okay?" I ask her. "What's wrong?"
"You called her Gracey. Only her dad and I call her that." she says. Fuck shit. I didn't know. I wasn't even thinking about that. It just slipped. "But what bothered her the most was that it didn't bother her at all. She looks to you more in a fatherly way lately, and it scares the shit out of her." Oh. I can definitely relate to that. "I basically told her to not look at the numbers and look at where you are in life compared to people her age. That makes it easier for her to handle." Damn. I've never thought about it that way, well not in those words at least. That right there sums everything up. "But she's okay with you calling her that occasionally."
They call first class passengers and we board the plane. Again, Mason claims the row to himself. This flight, however, Sarah and I are several rows in front of them. I may or may not have done that on purpose!
As usual, Sarah is curled up in my arms during the entire flight. We took the kids out of school early to get a flight that'd be easier on the kids' jetlag. But for right now is me and Sarah time. We just don't seem to get enough of it lately.
"Will you go on a date with me while we're in Sydney?" I ask her. It's been a busy month since our last one on Valentine's day and we could use the time to unwind.
"Of course I will, Mikey! Dare I ask what you have in mind?"
"It's a surprise!" I tell her, mainly because I haven't decided yet. I have a few ideas in mind, I just don't know which one I want to do yet. She seemed to enjoy our rooftop dinner, but valentines day was her favorite. Heartfelt and simple, like her.
We sit there talking and goofing around for the entire 5 hour flight, and I think we were starting to annoy the stuffy business man in the seat across the aisle from us; he darted off the plane the first chance he could.
Sarah's still laughing at my impressions of his facial expressions when we reach Mason, Grace and Casey. We all get off the plane and go sit at a restaurant in the airport for dinner while we wait for the flight to Sydney. Unfortunately, half way through our dinner, I notice two teenaged girls a few tables over taking some pictures. Shit. Here we go.
"Sarah?" I say just loud enough to get her attention. When she looks up at me, I point my head in the direction of the girls and watch her as she looks over and sees them. She looks at me with a sad smile. "We knew it was going to happen. Can we just keep it low key for now? Use this as a trial run and see how it's taken?" she asks. That's actually a really good idea.
"Of course babydoll," I tell her with a wink. By the time we land in Sydney, we'll have a good idea of how this whole thing is going to go. "I'll have the guys keep an eye on it for us while we're in air."
"Perfect."
