Sarah
"Awww the infamous Sarah! I've heard lots about you from my man Michael here!" Oh my god. He was talking to Josh Ramsay about me? Holy fuck! Calm the fan girl Sarah!
"This beautiful girl here is Grace, Sarah's daughter, and her best friend Karen." Mikey continues.
"Nice to meet you girls. You two look familiar." Karen literally can't talk right now. I'm savoring it because at the end of the night she won't be able to shut up. But I love her. She's my second daughter.
"We, uh, we met you in Baltimore in July, after the show." Grace actually speaks.
"Right! You were in a big group of you, right?" Grace nods. "And your mom took the pictures for you guys, right?" She nods again. "See, I do remember you girls!"
Mikey pulls me off to the side and sits down next to Matt and pulls me into his lap as we start conversation with him. Mike Ayley and Ian join in later and these guys are really cool. Josh and the girls come over a few minutes later and we all joke around laughing, just having a fun relaxed time until its time for soundcheck.
"Okay, so here are your backstage, meet and greet, and soundcheck passes," Josh says, handing each of us a lanyard. Holy fucking shit! I turn around on Mikey's lap to look at him.
"Thank you babe," I tell him quietly, pressing my lips to his. I turn back around and thank Josh, who has quite the smirk on his face.
"So here's what's gonna happen. You girls will come with me for the meet and greet and sound check. You'll stay with the crowd inside for the show. After the show, you'll come back to backstage with the sticker that's on the back of that pass. You're best off to stay backstage until your mom or Michael gets you, ok?" The girls nod then he addresses Mikey and I. Michael, you can stay here until we get back from soundcheck. You can come in with us after and watch the show from backstage. Sarah, you can go with the girls or stay with Michael. I just ask that if you do stay in here, to please keep the sex to the back room only!"
"Got it!" Mikey says, whereas I'm burning red and speechless.
The band, Grace and Karen leave the bus and before I know what's happening, I'm being carried through the bus to the back room. We make it very quick, because soundcheck never lasts more than a half hour or so.
After we're dressed and looking like we didn't just have sex, we go back to the main area and sit on the couch, with me on him lap.
"I'm not going to be able to see you much in LA. We're going to be writing and rehearsing most of the time," he tells me. I pretty much knew that already. I'm surprised he stayed with me as long as he has. "I've only been able to stay as long as I have because I've been working on the label."
"Mikey it's okay. I understand. This is your job, your career. It's not easy to have a personal life with this career, but we'll make it work. We've talked about this before. Sure, I'm bummed and it's going to be really hard, but as long as you want it to, we can make it work." He pulls me in and gently places his lips to mine, kissing me with so much love that I could burst.
The door opens and we pull apart, the band we're here to see, piling into the bus. We talk for awhile with Josh and go into a little more detail than Mikey had already told him about our relationship. Josh asks me a bit about Rob, and I'm completely honest with him. He's very understanding and supportive of our relationship, which is nice coming from someone my age. "Life gives us a lot of shit. Its not the shit we deal with that makes us who we are, it's what we do with ourselves because of it that matters. All the shit in my life fucked me up. It's when I turned to music that I made it a blessing. Your husband's death is some fucked shit, but a blessing in disguise. I don't know what you were like before, I only vaguely remember you from Baltimore. But I would remember if I had seen the light in your eyes that I see right now. People will always speculate but unless they live your life, they'll never understand. You do what's right for you. Fuck everyone else." Josh has such a remarkable way with words, and what he's said, really sinks in.
A little while later, we all go backstage, Mikey and I watching the show from a hidden viewpoint. When they start 'Forget Me Not', Mikey pulls me into him and starts dancing with me.
After the show, Grace and Karen find us backstage and we hang out until it's clear to go back to the bus. After all fans are gone, we say goodbye and walk back to the car, heading home.
Michael
"You have everything?" Sarah asks as we're zipping up the suitcases.
"I'm pretty sure. I hope so." I'm looking forward to going to LA, but not looking forward to leaving Sarah and the kids. The last two months have been amazing and it's weird to me now that I'm going back on the road. Don't get me wrong, I love playing for thousands of screaming fans, hearing them sing our songs back to us. But it gets exhausting after a while. Spending the last two months with Sarah makes me wish I had a normal life sometimes.
"Is it weird that I'm really going to miss the kids? I almost feel like they're my own," I ask Sarah. I've been thinking about this for the past week. I know that age wise, they're more like siblings than kids, but I've kind of taken on the man of the house role and look at them more from Sarah's point of view.
When she doesn't answer, I look up at her, seeing the tears in her eyes. I walk over to her and wipe away the tears on her cheeks.
"Babydoll, what's wrong. Should I have not said that?" I was just voicing my thoughts out loud but maybe they're just really screwed up thoughts.
"Not at all, Mikey. Just the opposite. I love you so much. Not Michael Clifford from 5sos, you. Your heart, your soul, your sense of humor, everything you say, everything you do makes me feel like a person again. You make me happy, you make me feel special, loved. You are everything I've ever dreamed of and more." More tears fall from her eyes, and I wipe those away, as well. "For you to accept my kids, who are closer to your peers, or siblings at best, means more to me than you could ever ever imagine!"
"I love you, Sarah. Everything about you, everything that is a part of you. I'm going to miss you so much babydoll."
"I'm going to miss you, too. So fucking much."
We get to the airport and Sarah drops me off separately. We'll meet up in the plane, but it's better for everyone if we're not seen together in the airports. Although her being an "employee" does make things easier.
Sarah
"Why aren't we going in with Mike?" Casey asks when we drop him off.
"It's just better right now if we're not seen with him. Then there's nothing to explain. If he's seen with us, rumors will start and things could get really hard, for all of us."
"But they're not rumors if they're true," he retorts.
"Yeah I know. But there are some really nasty people out there who could really turn this around into something horrible. It could hurt us as a family, Mikey, and even 5sos."
"People are idiots." Ain't that the truth?
We make our way into the airport and to the gate we'll be departing from and we find some seats. Grace asks for Starbucks, so I give her some money and tell her, "Now's your chance to go fan girl over Mikey, as long as you're careful with what you say!"
"It's too late for that now Mom. I only see him as my mom's boyfriend now. You've ruined my life! My dreams!" she fake cries and it makes me laugh.
"You know I'm kidding, Mom. But I do only see him as your boyfriend now. It's kind of weird, really, if you think about it. I'm the one who showed you who they were! I'm your matchmaker Mom! That's it! That's my new career!" I can't stop laughing at her.
"Just no more matchmaking while I'm gone!" I hear Mikey say as he walks past us, winking at me as he continues on. A few feet further, he's approached by a single teenaged girl who gets a selfie with him.
a/n Photo is of Josh Ramsay this summer in Baltimore
