Sarah
I don't know how long I slept, or how much longer we have until we get to LA, but any time I wake up in Mikey's arms I'm happy.
Michael's still asleep, so I just lay there watching him. This is killing me. Regardless of how things turn out later on, I'm hurting him now and I hate it. I almost wish I hadn't been on the same flight out as them. Almost.
"What are you planning on doing Sarah?" Ashton asks me. He's turned around in his seat with it tilted back so he can see me better. "I don't want to see him hurt."
"I don't either. That has never been my intention. I hope you know that." He nods. "I don't know what to do, Ash. There is so much at stake, so much to consider. My kids and your band being major ones. There are negative ramifications no matter what I do at this point. It's just a matter of which one has the least negative impacts. And Mikey has a lot to think about for the band, too. Unfortunately, your personal lives do impact all of your careers, in one way or another. It shouldn't, but it does, like it or not. Later on, it won't matter, but right now it does."
"Can we quit talking about this please?" Michael mumbles, eyes still closed. "I'm trying to enjoy these last few hours." Ashton turns back around, returning his seat as it was.
"Hi babydoll" he says after Ashton's turned around.
"Hiya milkshake." I giggle in response. He smiles wide and we sit back upright, but I lean back onto him as soon as we're situated.
"We're going to be landing soon," he says.
"I thought you didn't want to talk about that."
"Not with Ashton, I don't." He takes my hand in his. "Why don't we take it one day at a time? Just for the next month. At Jingle Ball we can see where things stand. We can text and call and whatnot in the meantime. I'm not ready to say goodbye, and we're not ready to make any decisions right now."
"That sounds good to me," I tell him. Gives me some time to figure shit out.
"You're going to text me and shit, right?" he whispers in my ear, kissing below it while he's at it.
"Absolutely Mikey. The question is will you text me back? You're a very busy man, you know!"
"Mhm" he answers, still attacking my neck. I turn my head towards him, connecting our lips then pulling away.
"As much as I want to, Mikey, we can't do this here." I whisper.
"Bathroom?" he asks.
"Maybe? You go. I'll talk to Rob a minute then we'll see." I stand up and find Rob five rows up by himself.
I sit down next to him to say hello.
"Hi. You didn't have to come up here, you know?"
"I know I didn't have to." He glances up as Michael walks past to the bathroom, but I keep my eyes on Rob. "I just couldn't stand being around you acting like a 15 year old anymore."
"What?" I ask. How the hell was I acting 15? "Why? Because I was trying to annoy Calum? Because I was listening to their music instead of letting you embarrass me?"
"Because you're 40 years old, sleeping with someone half their age because they're famous. You're a cradle robbing groupie Sarah. Or how about because you are obsessed with them. Because yes, you act like a child."
"Or how about because they tweet things that are more self-assuring than anything you've ever said to me. Because they make me feel better about myself than you do? Because I can relate to their lyrics? Or how about this. Because all four of them have shown me more friendship, love, and concern in two weeks than you have in 18 years?" I stand up and go straight to the bathroom that Michael's in and lock the door behind me.
He instantly connects our lips together and I respond ferociously. Like earlier, he pounds into me fiercely, and we actually cum together. We put ourselves back together with big smiles on our faces, then I pull him in one more time and kiss him with all my love and pain. He pulls back and looks at me with concern.
"Babydoll? You okay?" he asks, pushing some of my hair out of my face.
My slow deep breathing, my closed eyes, my pursed lips, they all tell him I'm not, without having to speak a word.
"Babydoll, talk to me. Please?"
"I'm just an immature cradle robbing obsessed groupie. I'm fine." I know I'm crying. Again. What else is new? I can see the anger in his eyes as he starts out the bathroom door. I quickly follow him out
"Michael, no! Don't." I don't know what he plans to do but it scares me. Anger is a very dangerous emotion. "Michael!" He turns to me right before we reach Rob's seat.
"I'm not going to do anything, Sarah." he says softly, putting his hand on my cheek. "I just need to sit down and collect my thoughts. That's all." He smiles down at me, then takes my hand, leading me back to our seats. I know Rob watched the entire thing, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. But I didn't look at him once.
We sat back down like we were and I could see him working on his breathing. I didn't say anything, allowing him to calm down.
"Sarah, you are not immature. You are fun. There's a difference. You know your responsibilities and you take care of what matters. Age is just a number. So what if you're 20 years older than me. Your parents are 13 years apart, right? Isn't that what you told me once? Age difference doesn't matter, so that shuts up the cradle robbing issue. Obsessed? Maybe a little," he winks at me, "but I don't mind. And a groupie? We've been over this, more than once. I've told you, Calum's told you. You are not a groupie. Groupie's don't care about us, they care about having sex with someone famous. That's it. You care about us. As a fan, as a friend, as a lover. There's a huge difference. Do not let his words get into your head!"
"What really bothers me, Sarah," he says quietly, "is how scared you got when I was upset. You said he doesn't hurt you physically, but why were you so scared of what I might've done? What did you think I was going to do?"
"I didn't know what you were going to do, but I was afraid of you starting something with him. I was afraid of what could happen if you let your anger control you. I was afraid of you hurting yourself to release the anger, or punching a hole in a wall, or I don't even know. "
"Because Rob is unpredictable?" I nod. That's a really pleasant way to say it.
"I'm going to keep my opinions to myself, but you need to do something. I don't know what, and right now I don't care what, as long as you do something. You deserve to be happy. You need to do it for you. Not for me, not for Grace, not for Rob, for you. Understand?" I getting teary-eyed yet again. I'm so sick of crying. But this time, they aren't tear from pain. I'm touched. Sincerely touched.
Michael
This is so wrong. She's afraid of what he'll do when he's mad, even if it's not to her, his reactions scare her. That's not good. Its not healthy. I meant what I told her. Even if I never see her again, I'll be okay as long as I know she's happy. She deserves to be.
"I love you, Milkshake," she whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I love the nickname she gave me. I can't help it that it makes me think of the blowjob she gave me in the bathroom of the diner. I'm a guy, what can I say?
"I love you too babydoll. So much." I tell her.
Way too quickly, we are landing in Los Angeles. This is the first time I've ever said that flight was too quick. Rob walked past us all and off the plane before any of us even stood up. At least I get to say goodbye to her properly, without him around. Selfish? Absolutely. Do I give a fuck? No.
We get off the plane last as always, but Sarah waits with us. She has a two hour layover, so she's not in a rush. Once first class is empty except for us, I connect my lips to hers and soak in the feel of her lips on mine and commit it to memory. We continue until Calum clears his throat, signaling it's time to go. She hugs the rest of the band and says goodbye, Ashton pinches her ass and winks at her as she exits first, then finally us. God this sucks. It's going to be a long month.
