Meet Again

Tragedy

AN: I apologize in advance.

A week later Rory had doctor's appointment. Honor came over to babysit Nicky and keep an eye on Paul Anka while they were gone.

After Rory got her blood drawn, she and Logan were sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the doctor to come in.

"Hi Rory" Dr Williams said when she walked into the room

"Hi" Rory smiled

"How's Nicky doing?"

"He's doing great"

"Good" Dr. Williams smiled "if you wanna lay down, I'll tell you just how far along you are"

Rory laid down and Dr Williams started her ultrasound. After a few minutes she put the ultrasound wand down and wiped the gel off Rory's stomach.

"Rory..." Dr Williams said and moved to where she could look Rory in the eyes "it looks like you were about 7 weeks pregnant, but there is no heartbeat. I'm so, so sorry"

Rory's heart dropped. Logan grabbed her hand. Dr Williams kept talking, but Rory didn't hear a single word that she said.

"Rory?" Dr Williams asked "did you hear me?"

Rory snapped out of her thoughts "Um, no...sorry. What did you say?"

"I'm gonna give you 4 pills, you'll take them home. When you're ready, put all 4 pills under your tongue for half an hour. After half an hour, swallow whatever's left of the pills with water. You'll experience some cramping and bleeding, kind of like a very heavy period. You might bleed for up to a week, if it lasts longer than that you need to come see me. Same with the cramping, come see me if it lasts longer than a week. You should take the pills within the next 24 hours, and I know that it's not easy with a toddler at home, but try and take it easy for the next week or two"

"Ok" Rory said, barely louder than a whisper

"If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to call" Dr Williams said "and once again, I'm very sorry for your loss"

"Thank you" Logan said

They got the pills and left. Neither of them said a word the whole was home. As soon as they walked into the apartment Rory went straight into the living room where Nicky was playing on the rug. She picked Nicky up and hugged him tight, before putting him back down. Logan wasn't far behind her.

"Hey" Honor said "how was it? Did you find out how far along you are?"

Rory couldn't hold it together anymore and started crying. She didn't want to have to talk about it and ran upstairs.

"What happened?" Honor asked

Logan wouldn't look at Honor and he was trying as hard as he could not to cry but a few tears escaped his eyes.

"No..." Honor whispered

Logan sniffled and wiped his eyes "I'm uh...I'm gonna go make sure she's ok"

"Yeah" Honor said softly "I'll watch him, don't worry"

Logan went upstairs and found Rory sitting on the edge of their bed, crying. He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She turned towards him and cried into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" Rory said, through tears

"What?" Logan asked "Why?"

"It's my fault. It was my job to keep the baby safe, and I didn't do that"

Logan let go of the hug and put his hands on Rory's upper arms "look at me"

Rory shook her head

"Rory, look at me" Logan said and put his hand under her chin, gently lifting her head up. He wiped her eyes "this was not your fault, ok? It just happened"

Rory decided to get into bed for a little while and Logan went back downstairs. Honor just watched Logan as he prepared dinner for Nicky. Logan knew she was watching him and tried to ignore her, but after a little while he couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you need something?" He asked, without turning around. He knew that she knew what happened, and he also knew that if he turned around he'd start crying.

"I'm so sorry" Honor said softly "are you ok?"

"I don't wanna talk about it"

"Logan..."

"I don't wanna talk it, Honor" Logan said "I wanna get my son ready for bed, so that I can go be with my wife" he said "and no. I'm not ok. I don't know how anyone could possibly be ok, after being told that their baby died"

Honor walked Paul Anka before she left. Logan fed Nicky dinner, gave him a bath, and put him to bed before going into his and Rory's room, where Rory was sitting, looking at the bottle of pills the doctor gave her.

"Did you take them?" Logan asked

Rory shook the bottle so Logan could hear that the pills were still inside.

"Do you know what this is?" Rory asked

"Not specifically, no"

"Put simply...it finishes the job"

"What?"

"Pregnancy's not viable, but it's still there" Rory said "wether I wanna think about it or not, there's a baby with no heartbeat. The pills get rid of it"

Logan sat next to Rory and put his arm around her.

"I can't do it, Logan" Rory started tearing up "I know that there's no heartbeat, but I can't bring myself to take this. It's too hard" 

Logan took the pill bottle from Rory and opened it. He put all 4 pills in his palm and held his hand out. "Take them, Ace" he said softly

That night Rory laid in bed, on her back with her arms crossed over her stomach. Usually Rory and Logan liked to cuddle, but that night Rory didn't wanna be touched, or held, she just needed space. Rory and Logan laid in bed, both unable to fall asleep. They were both devastated, but neither knew what to say to make the other feel better.

Eventually they fell asleep but Rory was woken up by crying on the baby monitor around 5am. She got out of bed and went into Nicky's room.

"Hi bubba" she said as she got Nicky out of his crib. Nicky snuggled into Rory's chest "why are you awake, huh? you're so sleepy" Rory changed him before sitting down with him on the rocking chair. Eventually Nicky fell asleep on Rory's chest, and not long after that, Rory fell asleep.

Logan woke up around 8, alone in bed. He went to Nicky's room to find Rory and Nicky both asleep, on the rocking chair. He watched them for a moment before brushing his hand along Rory's arm, gently walking her up. 

"How are you feeling?" Logan whispered

"I honestly don't even know" Rory said quietly

Logan sighed. He didn't know how he felt either. He knew Rory would be dealing with physical pain as well as the emotional pain so he wanted to make things as easy for her as he could over the next few days.

"Do you want me to bring you some coffee?" Logan offered, knowing that Rory would be stuck there until Nicky woke up

"Yes please"

"I'll be right back"