My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 28

"We're back!" Krist exclaims as soon as we walk through his front door. Shelli runs from the couch and up into his arms. His bags fall on the ground and he wraps his arms around her. 

"I missed you!" She jumps off of him and gives me a hug. 

I smile and hug her back. It's nice to be back with Shelli. She's always happy and I need that type of energy around me, considering what had happened. 

"Let's make it through the door," Dave says. We all shift inside and he slams the door behind him. 

I grab my bags and I bring them into my bedroom. I lay down on the bed and sigh, grateful that we're home. 

"I'm probably going to head out now," Kurt says. 

I perch up. "It's late, though."

"I'll be fine. I have things I need to do anyway."

I'm upset that he's leaving. I was hoping that we could try to have at least a little time alone together. "Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No, no, that's alright," He leans forward and kisses me. "Goodbye, Kaitlyn."

"Bye, Kurt," I smile and wave to him as he walks away. 

I lay down on my bed and immediately regret letting Kurt leave. I wanted him to stay at least for a little while longer. 

There's a knock on the door and I turn my head to see who it is. 

It's Dave. 

"Can I come in?" He asks. 

I nod my head and sit up so that he can sit across from me. "What's up?"

"Listen, I need to know that you're okay," He says.  "I know you've said multiple times that you're okay, but I really have a hard time believing it."

I smile widely. "Look. I'm okay." I stop smiling. "I am okay. Really. You have nothing to worry about, Dave."

"God, that pissed me the fuck off," He shakes his head. "I mean, I've never experienced something like that before. It...scared me."

"I'm sorry, Dave." I feel somewhat responsible. 

"Kaitlyn, it's not your fault, don't apologize. I've just never really had to witness anything like that."

I feel terrible for him. Nobody should have to witness anything like that. We're not even that old and we've already witness a sexual assault. 

"I've never seen Kurt that angry before," He slightly chuckles. "I mean, I've always known that he's against sexual assault and pro-women, but I never knew that he could be that angry of a person. He's very kind."

"He's mellow," I add. "I know what you mean. I didn't really get to see how angry he was, but I can only imagine."

"Oh my fucking God, he didn't even care about his guitar, Kaitlyn. He threw it over his shoulder." He starts to laugh. "But-and I feel bad for finding this funny-he couldn't get it over his head and just got more frustrated."

That makes me laugh. "God, Dave. You know, one day, you're really going to piss him off."

"I already do."

I furrow my eyebrows. "No you don't."

"Don't tell anyone, but I don't feel like I really belong in the band. It's like Krist and Kurt, and Dave."

"I'm sorry. Now it can be Krist and Kurt, and Kaitlyn and Dave."

"Oh, Kurt would kill me if that happened. What do you see in him?"

I scoff and chuckle. "Dave! What a terrible, terrible question."

"No, I'm genuinely curious," He lays down on his stomach and kicks his feet up in the air. "Let's gossip!"

I smile. I have to think about my response. I've never really thought about what attracted me to Kurt; I just knew that I was. "His face. He's really attractive, Dave. But what's even better is that he doesn't flaunt it around like most people do."

"That's because he thinks he's ugly."

My eyes widen and my jaw drops. "He thinks what?!"

Dave readjusts himself by sitting down on his butt. "Yeah, he thinks he's ugly."

I sigh. "How the fuck does he think he's ugly?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "How do you think you're at fault for everything?" He covers his mouth. "Holy shit! I did not mean it like that."

"I know, I know," I put my hand on his shoulder to assure him that I'm not upset by his comment. "But that's because something happened to me to make me think that. Did something happen to Kurt that makes him think he's ugly?"

"I don't know. He's not a really open person."

"He's different," I continue about what attracts me to Kurt. "I feel terrible for doing this, but I compare him to Ethan sometimes and I feel like I'm not supposed to do that, you know?"

"Well, Ethan's all that you've ever had before Kurt, so it's a new experience."

"Yeah, I guess so. I would hate it if he compared me to his ex girlfriend, Tobi."

"From what I know, Tobi's bad news."

"She's incredibly beautiful."

"Kaitlyn, don't compare yourself to other people, alright?" He sits up and climbs off of the bed. "I'll see you around. Thanks for the talk."

"Are you leaving?" I ask. 

"Mhm. It's late and I have to get home."

"Alright. Bye, Dave."

"Goodbye."