My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 75

I haven't been able to sleep since Kurt left. I don't know where he went or if he's okay. I managed to convince myself last night that he just left me and he won't ever come back. I caused myself to have a panic attack because of that. 

Now it's ten in the morning and I still have had no sign of him. I called Krist after Kurt left and asked him what was said between each other, but apparently I already heard the whole conversation-when I walked in on them. 

I lay my head back down on the pillow and turn to my side, hoping that he'll come back soon. Part of me feels like he really isn't coming back. 

Just then, I hear the front door open. I jump off of the bed and stand in my bedroom doorway which leads straight to the front door. I stay there and see Kurt walk through the front door. 

I clasp my hands over my mouth and gasp. It's really him. 

He looks at me with a saddened expression, then walk towards me. "I'm sorry for just leaving."

I am too stunned to speak. I can't believe that he's here in front of me. I thought for sure that he wasn't going to come back. I thought that he was going to leave me forever. 

Why he came back is a question that I will never know the answer to. If I was him, I would not have come back. I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me. 

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," I begin to cry. I never cry in front of anyone, so just by doing this, I am showing him how vulnerable I am and how I really feel. I really am sorry. I feel as if this is all of my fault.

"Hey," He takes my face in his hands and guides me towards him. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I told you that I didn't want to get engaged, but that's not what I meant at all, Kurt. I didn't mean to say that. I wasn't meaning it and I'm so sorry."

He takes a step back and runs his fingers through his hair. "Kaitlyn, I talked to Krist. I went to his house and he told me everything that he said."

"This is not his fault," I tell him. I don't want him to be mad at Krist more than he already is. "Okay? He didn't force me to say or think any of that and-"

He interrupts me by kissing me. When he pulls away, I feel like he takes my whole soul with him. "Kaitlyn, I need you to know that I love you more than anything in the world, alright? I would never leave you. I just wanted to understand why you were thinking that."

"I thought that we weren't good for each other, but I realize that's not true. We can just help each other. I want to help you, Kurt. I want to be with you."

"I'll always be with you, Kaitlyn."

 We lay down in bed, embraced with each other. I thought that I was going to have to do some convincing to make Kurt stay, but in reality, he didn't need any sort of convincing at all. If anything, he thought that he was going to have to convince me. 

After we talked about it, we realized that we're going to be okay and we're going to stay together. Of course I was having some doubts, but it's normal to have some doubts in a relationship. If I ever have those doubts again, he told me that he wants me to bring it up to him instead of hiding it from him and taking it out on him. 

I'm hoping that there won't be a next time.