My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 18

I leave Ethan in the bedroom as he sleeps softly. I don't want to wake him from his slumber. I go into the living room and see Kurt eating a bowl of cereal on the couch and watching the television. 

I sit down next to him and he doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look at me. 

I don't blame him. After last night, I wouldn't want to look at me, either. 

"Are you alright?" I ask him. 

He nods his head, still not looking at me. "I'm alright."

"I don't know why he did that."

"I was pushing his buttons, Kaitlyn."

"Why did you do that?"

"I don't know. I was just bored."

"That wasn't very smart."

"Have you told him about the kiss yet?"

"Shut up!" I whisper. "No, I haven't."

He sets the bowl on the table and turns to face me. "Kaitlyn, if you don't tell him, I'm going to. The end of tonight is the last I'm going to wait, alright?"

"He's going to be so angry at you, Kurt. And what do I even say?"

"You say that I kissed you."

"That'll make him more angry, Kurt. I'm just going to say that we kissed."

He sighs. "Kaitlyn, you don't get it. You're protecting me and you don't need to. He already hates me."

"That's the point, Kurt. I don't want him to hate you more than he already does."

"I bet he has dreams of killing me."

"Kurt!" I smile softly and chuckle. He never fails to make me laugh, even in a serious situation. "I'm being serious."

"I mean, what's the worst that could happen? 'Oh, I hate Kurt. I'm going to beat his ass.'"

"What if he doesn't let me see you anymore?" The thought had never crossed my mind until that moment, but when it did, my heart dropped. I don't want to stop seeing Kurt or being friends with him. I really enjoy his company. 

"Then I'll sneak in through your window."

"Kurt, I don't want to stop being friends with you just because he doesn't like you. I really like you."

He nods his head softly. "Do you want me to be there with you while you tell him?"

"No, God no. That will make things worse."

"Wait, didn't he kiss another chick?"

My eyebrows furrow. "He kissed another girl?!"

"No, no, for the movie."

"Well, yeah, but that's his job."

"Just say it was payback."

Every single sentence that comes out of his mouth just makes me more and more irritated. I can't even have a serious conversation with him. 

I really don't know what I'm going to do, though. I never really thoroughly thought about how I was going to tell Ethan. Until yesterday, I assumed that I was going to have another month before I tell him. 

"It's going to be okay," Kurt puts a hand on my shoulder and rubs his thumb softly back and forth. He can tell that I'm worried. 

I start to cry. "Kurt, he's going to be so mad at me."

"Listen, I'll tell him if you want. I'll just go up to him and say, 'I kissed Kaitlyn to make her stay.'"

"I told him that you just convinced me to stay."