My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 23

He holds my hand as we walk inside of the restaurant. The waitress leads us to our booth after we inform her that it's just us two eating dinner tonight. She sets down the menus and Kurt and I sit across from each other. 

This is our first date that we've ever been on and I'm nervous for it. I didn't get too dressed up for it because I knew that Kurt wouldn't and I didn't want to feel stupid. 

We decided to go out tonight on Valentine's Day because it would be romantic-well, I thought it would be romantic. Kurt just thought that it was cheezy. I convinced him to come with me anyway.

"What are you going to drink?" Kurt asks me. 

"I don't know," I lie, knowing exactly what I'm going to drink. I don't want it to influence Kurt's pick, though. 

I'm trying to really know his true self throughout this whole night-what he wants to drink, what he wants to eat, how he interacts with me in public, etc. We've been pretty touchy with each other. Although we've only been dating for two weeks, we're really comfortable with each other. 

We've hugged and kissed and some other things...but we haven't had sex yet. I don't think I'm ready to get that intimate with Kurt yet. 

"What are your political views?" I randomly ask Kurt. I haven't heard his opinions yet and I want to know. 

He drops the menu and smiles at me, softly chuckling. "What in the world made you want to ask that?"

"I don't know," I shrug my shoulders. "I just want to know."

"Well, I'm a very hard feminist and I am all for women's rights. I think women get treated terribly and they all get shit on. I fucking hate it; it's disgusting."

"So you're pro-choice, too?"

"Oh yeah. One-hundred percent. And I don't believe that anyone should be racist to anyone. It's fucking disgusting."

He's more left than right. I am glad that he felt comfortable enough to share his opinions with me. 

"What are yours?" He asks. 

"I don't really have any," I reply. "I don't know enough to form an opinion."

"What do you mean?"

Our waiter walks up to us. "Hi! My name is Jeffrey and I'm going to be your server for today. What can I get you guys started to drink with?"

I look at Kurt and he signals for me to talk first. "Can I just get a Sprite please?"

"Of course," He turns his body towards Kurt. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Can I get a Sprite, too?" Kurt asks. 

"Of course. Are we ready to order our food?"

"Just a couple more minutes please."

"Alright, I'll be right back with the drinks," Jeffrey walks away and I open up the menu to look at my options for dinner. I look over at the prices and make sure that I find something cheaper for Kurt. 

I'm obviously not going to be buying dinner; Kurt wouldn't let me. I didn't fight back that much, because I knew that I wasn't going to be getting anywhere with him when it came to the argument. 

"I'm going to get a grilled cheese," I tell Kurt. 

"I'm going to get a burger," He sets his menu down. 

Coincidentally, the waiter comes back with our drinks at the same time we're ready to order. He writes down our food choices and takes our menus away.