My Heart is Broke-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 98

The next morning, I wake up feeling better compared to yesterday. I slept for majority of the day so that I could give myself the ability to get as much rest and let myself reset from the sickness. Although I'm not all the way better, I'm still getting there.

Shelli, surprisingly enough, was not as all up in my business as I assumed she was going to be. She didn't even stay in the same room as me. She went downstairs and remained there until she checked up on me halfway through the day, asking me if I needed anything to eat or drink. I just shook my head and went back to sleep. 

For majority of the day yesterday, I was asleep. I didn't want to be awake. The only times I woke up was to go to the bathroom, change my tampon,  throw up, just to go back to sleep again, and then repeat the cycle.

Shelli knocks on my door and returns with a bowl of soup, as I requested. "Here you go. Chicken noodle."

"Thank you so much, Shelli," I bring the bowl up to my lips and sip the broth. Then, I set it down, not wanting to consume a lot of food at one time and risk throwing up again. I haven't yet this morning and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"Do you know if you have the flu?" Shelli asks. "How did you get sick?"

I shrug. "I have no idea. I just began to throw up yesterday and it was so awful."

All of a sudden, her eyes widen as if she made a sudden realization. Her eyes scan my face, then down my body and stop at my stomach. My stomach that looks completely normal. "Are you pregnant?!"

I don't even know why she would make that assumption. Every single time that a woman mentions the fact that she threw up, everyone automatically thinks that she's pregnant. 

"No," I say shortly. "I am not pregnant."

"Are you sure? I can go get a pregnancy test right now."

"I'm on my period, Shelli," I say. "I am not pregnant."

She lightly chuckles, amused with herself that she would even let that suggestion entertain her mind. "Silly me. How has yours' and Kurt's relationship been lately?"

I appreciate the fact that she's trying to start a conversation, but I really don't feel like talking right now, especially with how ill I feel. Yet I put on a face and fake it through. 

Krist told me a little while ago that Shelli feels like I dislike her, which is not the case at all. Sometimes she talks too much and I don't work well with that, but it doesn't mean I dislike her. 

Ever since then, I've been trying to be more friendly towards her and even sometimes engage in conversations with her first. Sometimes when she keeps on going on about the same topic, I zone out unintentionally.

"We're good," I can honestly say. 

For the longest time, Kurt and I were in a really bad spot. Every couple has their moments, but Kurt and I tend to have more moments than the average couple. Whenever I try to talk to Shelli about Kurt and I arguing, she tries to give me advice, but it's weird coming from her. 

I view Shelli as more of a sister than a mother, but sometimes she takes on the mother role. Shelli fits it really well, though. I know she's going to be a wonderful mother someday.

I joke around with her that she should have a kid already with my brother, but they're not wanting one just yet, which is a smart idea. Kurt and Courtney should've followed their decisions, too. 

Although Frances is such a blessing to all of our lives, it would've been better if they didn't have her because now they have split-custody and Kurt isn't able to be in her life a lot due to him being on tour. He should've waited until he was in a position to be more involved in her life to have a kid.