SPY

I Like You

My father took me to Ahmedabad and admitted me to a girl's hostel. The hostel was run by a charitable trust, where under age girls, who lost their families were kept. Their education was sponsored by them. My father gave them fifty thousand rupees for my education and upbringing. That was the last time I saw him. 

Money can't buy you happiness but it can make your life easy. The people in the hostel treated me nicely. I never indulge in any fight with anyone. I got food on time. I was allowed to go to school. Whenever any rich person came they brought clothes and other gifts for us. Life was not difficult but it was very lonely. 

I expected that my father would pay me a visit after my sister's marriage but it never happened. It appears that everyone in my family forgot about me, as I never existed for them. Day by day my loneliness was turning into anger and I don't remember when this anger converted into hatred. I started hating those people who left me on my own when I was devastated. 

I planned to take revenge but I was too weak for that as well. It took me some time but I accepted my fate. I swear that whatever happens I will never forgive them, neither the men who kidnapped me nor my family. The world is full of selfish people but never in my wildest dream I thought that parents could also be selfish. 

I chuckled and wiped my tears. It was almost six in the morning. I changed my clothes and headed to the training center. My anger came out on the man practicing with me. "Ravi, stop, are you planning to kill me," he shouted and I came to my senses. 

"Let's call it off for today," he said while removing his boxing gloves. I nodded and after stretching myself, I came back home. My body was aching so I had a hot water shower. I decided to make breakfast for Sagar and his relatives as well. 

I packed food for six people and went to his house. "Thank you," he said, "I was about to order from a restaurant, as you know we can't use the stove for the next three days," I nodded and told him that I'll prepare lunch and dinner for him. 

I guess he had a small family, not many people came to visit him. For three days, I along with Sheela didi made food for him and guests. Some other neighbors also help us. 

After fifteen days I got a message from headquarters for a meeting. I attended it and came back to pack my bags. A new mission, finally I could breathe. These missions are like oxygen to me because they keep me away from all my worries. 

I locked my apartment and saw Sagar in the corridor. "Are you going somewhere?" he asked. 

"Yes, I was called back to investigate a case," I replied. 

"When will you come back?" 

"No idea," I said, putting the keys in my pocket. 

"I know it is not the right time and even the place is not right. I want to tell you that I like you... I don't expect you to give me an answer right now. And I am aware that you don't feel the same for me but I want to confess right now. Life is too short... And too unpredictable," an awkward silence surrounded us. 

"I should get going," I said. 

"Ravi, I'll wait for your answer," he said. 

I took the auto and went to the railway station. I don't feel anything about him and above this I am not ready to start a new relationship. Maybe I can't love anyone after Abhimanyu. His love was a mystery for me. I never found out whether he really loved me or not. His secrets died with him, I am not sure if his memory loss was real or part of a big plan.

I am tired of his duality and I don't want to fall in love ever again. Love hurts and I don't want to hurt myself anymore. 

I should stay away from Sagar. Maybe I show too much concern and he is misunderstanding my concern as my love.