SPY

Why this night is long?

I injected him once again when he tried to open his eyes. 

After a long drive, we finally reached Shimla and from there we transferred him to another van. 

I parted ways with Shihabuddin as he had to visit his family, his mother was very ill. I came back to Delhi and went back home. 

In the evening I saw people gathering in Sagar's house. I got to know his mother died an hour before because of a heart attack. I met him and gave my condolences. Life is very unpredictable, anything can happen in just a snap of a finger. Just a few months ago I threatened her and now she is dead. 

I came to my apartment and lay down on my bed. Maybe I was so tired from the trip that I didn't realize it when I fell asleep. 

In dreams~ 

I was in a dark room when a man came and dragged me outside. 

"Don't you dare to reject him or else I'll kill your family," he said, "Do you remember you told us where they live." 

He sent me with a man and he did all those nasty things with me. I was scared, I was angry with myself. How can I be a fool to tell them about my family? I was in pain and I wanted to scream but that man put his hand on my mouth and all those screams got stuck in my throat. My eyes were filled with tears and I woke up as these tears reached my cheeks. I gasped and sat down hugging my knees and putting my head on them. 

I am aware that none of it was my fault then why am I the one who is suffering? The man who raped me must have forgotten about that day and he might be enjoying his life with his family. 

I am all ready to forget my past but why is it still haunting me? Why don't these nightmares let me sleep? 

I looked at the time and it was three in the morning. It was also three in the morning when I finally escaped from that hell. I somehow managed to reach my sister's in-laws' house. They sent someone to call my parents from the hotel. 

My mother hugged me as she saw me. "Where have you been?" she asked, breaking the hug. 

"Some people kidnapped me," I said, wiping my tears. I told them everything that had happened to me. My father put his hand on my head and my mother wiped my tears. 

"Please take me home," I asked them. 

"I want to talk with you," my sister's father-in-law said, "We are calling off the wedding, I can't marry my son to a family with a tainted reputation. Everyone in your village is assuming that Ravi left your house with some boy."

"But it's not true, you already know what happened to her," my father said. 

"So what, nothing can change the fact that she slept with some man. You have two options: either you choose your younger daughter or the elder one. And I don't think that she is telling the truth. Like everyone is saying, she must have run with a guy of some other caste and when he ditched her, she came back with a story expecting us to believe her and accept her. You can be blind but I'm not."

"It's not true," I tried to explain. My father stopped me and sat on his knee. "Please don't call off the wedding. My reputation will be ruined in the entire village," he said, touching his feet. 

"I'll accept your elder daughter if you break your ties with her," he said pointing his finger toward me. "I don't want to see her face ever again." 

"I'll do as you say, please don't call off the marriage," he got up and left their house. My mother and I followed him. 

"Papa, I'm not lying. Please trust me," I said. 

"I trust you.... Please forgive your father," he joined his hand in front of me. 

"Papa please don't do this," I held his hand and begged him to not separate me from them. 

"Please forgive me Ravi," he put his hand on my head and all of us cried our eyes out.