Preacher Man // ross lynch + driver era

119

Show him.

Ross asks me to show him how much I'm in love with him, begging me to be closer to him.

I don't know why he's begging for some sort of reassurance, but I'd never say no when he asks.

I'm sat on his lap, my arms around his neck with his hands holding my waist. It's slow, peppering kiss.

I can't remember the last time we were intimate and not so quick with all of our actions. Our impatience would show clear as day and we would just want to go, go, go.

I can't help my mind wandering as he kisses along my neck.

Does he actually prefer to have sex while high?

He definitely wouldn't lie to me about sleeping with Danielle.

But is this why he's suddenly so into the sex? Because he's still high?

"What's wrong?" He murmurs, drawing his head back to look up at me.

I shrug and exhale softly, feeling still as confused as ever with absolutely no closure from what happened tonight.

Why can't I just get it off my mind?

I pout my lip out, leaning my hand onto my forehead, slowing dragging it through my hair. "I can't stop thinking, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, don't apologize. What's going on? What are you still thinking about?" He asks, his fingertips gently caressing my thigh.

He watches as I slide off his thighs to sit beside him, needing some clarity. "Everything. I know we just talked about it and I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record," I ramble. "Do you prefer sex while high?"

"Do you think I said all of that just to sleep with you because I was high?"

I shake my head immediately because I knew he was being truthful but I'm exhausted and my brain is muddy. I'm still sort of upset.

"No, I know that you meant what you said," I defend myself before he gets snippy. "I know today was crazy and you definitely saw things you shouldn't ever have to see, but I just can't... I can't get over any of the shit from tonight," I confess.

His eyes scan down my face, worry spreading across his. "Like what? Why can't you get over it?"

"Ross, I mentally can not handle this whole drug thing. And I love you, you know I do, but please. I am begging you for the sake of my mental health, that is always wobbling on a fine line, if you're not addicted to it then please don't use again."

I don't want to immediately disregard the addiction topic even though he said he wasn't.

Addiction is real and usually it makes people stubborn to admit.

But I feel like if I find out he's using one more time, I will have a mental breakdown.

"Okay, I won't, I promise. I'm sorry," he rambles, his hand tightening around my thigh and tugs to bring me closer.

I look up at him, my eyes settling on his. "I hate even saying this, but if I find out you use again, I need a break from us because I won't be able to handle it."

The door to the recording studio swings open and I jump, my soul temporarily leaving my body at the sudden action.

My eyes land on Rydel who is furrowing her eyebrows, squinting to see where we are in the dimly lit room.

I am so happy we were not having sex.

"Wasn't sure where you guys were or if you were okay, just wanted to make sure," his sister says. "Dad was just asking about you too."