Preacher Man // ross lynch + driver era

12

I have never had a good Christmas for as long as I can remember. We were too poor for presents and my parents would go to the local food bank for our dinner. I didn't mind. One year when I was 13 and they had enough money, we went to the Goodwill and I was able to pick out a new shirt. That's the only gift I could remember, but I loved it.

I grew up in a trailer home and sometimes bounced around to shelters when things got rough. I met friends when I was there so I didn't mind that either. It wasn't until I was 13 when I later found out the way we had some extra money was because my mother was selling herself.

Things got worse then.

Shortly after that, my parents turned to drugs. Any drug – all drugs. Always paired with some alcohol they were able to purchase from the sex money my mother was bringing in.

When I was 18 I was able to escape from my parents. They don't live far from here and I send them some money from my bookstore checks. I don't want them to not be able to eat or drink although I know the money isn't being used well.

Holidays weren't the best and I never had anywhere to go once I moved into a college dorm. I didn't want to be surrounded by my parent's negativity. I don't know if they'd even want me around.

"I'll be fine. I love you both, have fun! Tell your parents I say Merry Christmas," I say while smiling and hugging both my roommates goodbye.

Kayla says, "You can come with me. I promise it'll be fine."

I don't want to be a bother.

I shake my head. "I have some work I want to catch up on, don't worry about it. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Once I hear their chatter leave from the hallway, I go into the kitchen. School doesn't start yet so I don't have any work to do. I pull out the vodka located from the top cabinet.

Might as well make myself feel a little something.

I lay out two shot glasses, knowing how this is a bad idea, but not allowing myself any time to actually think it through. I pour each of them to the rim and take each one back. I just wanted to feel normal. I don't want to be sad.

It wasn't long until the drinks got to my head. I go to the bathroom and run the bathtub. A bath seems like a great idea to help with my cloudy mind. I grab a normal glass and fill it a quarter of the way with vodka and walk to the bathroom.

I drop a bath bomb in the water and I light a candle near my sink, the bright flame burning my thumb as I light it. I curse under my breath then strip down. I put my toe into the scolding water and sit in it, my body getting chills from the water. I play with the bubbles, my mind going back to the old days on Christmas.

My phone that was sitting on top of my toilet seat starts ringing. "Who the hell is calling me right now?" I groan, leaning forward and grabbing it.

"Hello," I say into the receiver.

Ross responds, "Merry Christmas."

I laugh. "Merry Christmas... to you too." I finish my sentence, my words beginning to slur.

I take that as a sign to take another sip.

"Are you drunk?" He whispers harshly into the phone. I shake my head, forgetting he can't see me. "Hayley."

I roll my eyes, leaning my head against the wall. "No, no, no! I'm just having fun, that's all."

"It's 9:30 in the morning," I hear the judgement coming from his voice.

I sigh. "Bye, bye." I hang up the phone, putting it down onto the floor outside of the bath. "Baby bye, bye, bye" I hum along the lyrics to the *NSYNC song. "Bye, bye, bye."