Preacher Man // ross lynch + driver era

40

The next few days were full of darkness. Everyone tried to act tough as though their world didn't shatter. We would all hang out at the house in the morning and afternoon, but Ross and I would go back to one of our apartments at night to sleep. He refused to let me leave his side.

I had an exam two days after Stormie's passing so I was hesitant on missing class because I was unsure if my professor would allow me to make it up. The night before the exam, as I was laying beside Ross, I asked him if it was okay if I left for a few hours to get my class work and do my exam.

I didn't think he could cry anymore as he begged me not to go. It was as if every layer of toughness that he had was striped away and he was left vulnerable like I leaving, even momentarily, would rock his entire world some more.

He didn't let go of me once throughout the entire night. I sent my professor a lengthy email explaining the circumstances and thankfully they'll let me make it up. It was killing me to see Ross so torn, I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

The days passed too quickly and today was the viewing.

I walk out of Ross' bathroom with a black dress and heels on. My hair and makeup were presentable even though I knew I was going to cry. Over the past few months, I grew closer to Stormie. I'd come over and we'd drink tea together without Ross. We went shopping. I'd go food shopping for the house when Rydel couldn't.

"You alright?" I ask Ross softly as I approach him from behind. I place my hand gently onto his shoulder to get his attention.

He speaks quietly. "I can't get this tie." His voice sounds defeated and broken.

I walk in front of him and look up into his tired, red eyes. "I'll try," I reply. I've only tied a tie a handful of times.

Ross tilts his head back so his eyes are focused onto the ceiling. I grab hold on the black fabric and try to recall how to tie it. "I'm scared," he admits.

"Scared of what?"

He looks down, his hazel eyes full of tears. "To see her like this. She'll have a stupid fucking wig on and makeup that'd she never wear. I'm scared to see her for the last time, Hayl."

I nod as my fingers finish tying. As I make it straight, I reply. "I know, baby. It's not fair."

"It's so scary that this will be the last time I will ever physically see my mother. Touch her hand. Anything. And then she'll just be part of my memory," he whispers.

I pout, my hand sliding down his chest. "Don't think that way. Don't remember her for the time you see her today. Remember all of the good times. I know it'll be hard."

His hands lift from his sides and sit firmly onto my hips. "I know, I'll try my best. Please don't leave my side even if you need to go to the bathroom or something, I'll walk with you."

"I promise I won't leave you," I say as I slide my arms around him and pull him into a hug.

Ross buries his face into my neck. "I love you. Thank you for being the best girlfriend."

I pull my head back and kiss his forehead several times. "I love you more."

An hour later, we were at the viewing. As soon as our feet stepped through the doorway, you could feel the emotion seep into us. My eyes immediately made contact with the casket.

Ross tightens his warm hand around mine as we walk over to his family. "Hi," he says to his family.

They were already red eyed and sniffling. The beginning of a long and hard day. "Hi son," his father says, pulling him into a hug then me afterwards.