Your P.O.V:
You know those days where you just want to stay in bed and let your depression and anxiety take over?
You know the ones.
When you're so excited about doing something day before only to have everything come crashing down the next morning.
Well.
Today is one of those days.
The worst part is, is that my girlfriend Lauren, doesn't know about my anxiety or depression.
Okay, okay, before you judge me.
I didn't tell her because...well...I've been dumped by a lot of people because I have been "too much to handle" and finding someone as special as Lauren....I really don't want to lose her.
So here I am, laying on my bed, at 3 in the morning, thinking about how I'm going to explain to the girl sleeping next to me why I don't want to go with her to the studio today.
A few hours roll by and I feel my green eyed girlfriend stir around, she soon wraps an arm around me.
"Baby, are you up?" She asks and I nod.
"Are you coming with me today?" She asks and I sigh.
"I'm sorry Lolo, I'm not feeling great today" I say and she is silent for a moment.
"Are you sick? Because if you are than I can stay home today" She says and I shake my head.
"No, I'm not sick" I say.
"Then what's the matter nugget?" She asks.
My heart starts to pound, I turn to her.
"If I tell you something...do you promise to still love me no matter what?" I ask and she looks at me with disbelief.
"Of course Baby, if you killed someone I would help you hide the body-Wait did you kill someone? Because if that's the case than I know a perfect place to hide the body before we burn it and the evidence so that way we can-" I cut her off with a giggle.
"No ones dead...well not physically" I say and she looks at me confused.
"What does that mean?" She asks and I sigh, turning to lay on my back.
"When I was younger, I developed depression and anxiety as family deaths became frequent and when I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 11 and had to have heart surgery that could of killed me at age 12" I say, Lauren nodding, knowing about my disease and surgery. (Polycystic ovary syndrome is a hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges, only girls can get it. Also I'm just using my reasons of why I have severe depression and anxiety, Yes I have PCOS and had heart surgery)
"One of the symptoms of the disease is very horrible depression, and putting that on top of family deaths and the pills I take for PCOS gives me even more depression....sometimes I just want to lay down and not get up" I say as I close my eyes, afraid to hear what she'll say.
"Baby, is that it?" She asks and I nod, tensing when she giggles.
"Nugget, I'm not going leave you over something you can't control." She says and I open my eyes, turning to her.
"Really?"
"Yes Y/n" She says with a smile and kisses my nose.
"I'll get ready now and head down to the studio." She says getting up.
"Hey Lauren?" I call out as she steps out of the room, she turns around.
"Yes?"
"Thank you"
"Baby, I don't want to lose you by being overwhelmed by me" She says with a small smile.
"You mean to much to me" She says and walks away.
I smile and close my eyes, finally feeling like someone understands.
I've never sleeps better in my life.
