"Tae? Taehyung?" I call out his name; unable to see him up here. And as I step down to the lower level to go in search of him; I am attacked from behind with hands covering my sight.
"Stay still." Taehyung whispers in close proximity of my ear. And as I try turn around; he holds me in place from doing so.
"W-what are you doing?" I question, holding on to his arms.
"...I don't want you to see me like this."
"See you like what?" I ask him and Taehyung remained silent. "...Taehyung, what's going on?"
"...The sun. It's setting."
"What?" I lightly chuckle at his comment. "Other than the obvious in what I already know...; seriously...what don't you want me to see?"
"...Me...being unstable."
"Tae..." I utter, reaching for his hands. But, the feeling of cloth I thought belonged to his sleeves was a fabric quite familiar to my sense of touch.
Now noticing that I've found out about his injury; Taehyung quickly removes his hands away from my face and steps back.
"...Your hand, what happened to your hand?" I question; swiftly turning around to meet him.
But again, Taehyung refuses to reply and decides to take another step away from me.
"Kim Taehyung." I call his name and he simply walks away; right back to the ledge of the balcony from where I saw him below.
Watching him, as Taehyung leans over the terrace wall; I am quickly reminded of that night when he first spoke of his past. That very same night he turned to me and asked if we could become friends.
"What do you think of me Y/N?" Taehyung finally speaks; asking me a question that I myself have been struggling to answer all week. "Because..., I think might I hate myself too."
Hearing Taehyung say such words, made me feel great remorse in the things that I've said to him that night. I was so angry with everything, that I turned a blind eye as to how those words I spewed would have an effect on him later on.
"...Why do you think you hate yourself?" I stood beside him; leaning over the wall as well.
"...Because, I've done...some things." He vaguely admits, looking out in the distance.
"Tae, if it's about you being an escort..., I honestly never meant to say anything to hurt you. I'm really sorry."
"No, you don't have to apologize. It has nothing to do with that. I think..., I think there is something wrong with me, Y/N."
"...Tell me what's wrong. Tell me, so I can help you." I say reaching for is hand and with a swallow of his pride; Taehyung finally begins to speak.
"I haven't been sleeping well for the past couple weeks. I keep waking up from nightmares, cold sweat, just...constantly worrying and being pressured every single day."
"Who's pressuring you Tae? Tell me so that I can fix it."
"Heh..., This isn't something you can just fix, Y/N. ...I honestly don't even know why I'm telling you this in the first place." Taehyung states and I'm tempted to press on as to why.
"...I may not know how to fix it just yet. But, maybe...I can make it better." I say, hoping he would open up to me. And with a step forward; Taehyung stenches his bandaged hand towards me.
"I deliberately punched a glass mirror, injuring my knuckles. It...um, it doesn't hurt. Strangely, I felt nothing. But, ...when I'm near you...It somehow hurts. You just seeing me like this; hurts." He discloses and again I could see the pain within his eyes. "I want to be able to open up to you in any way possible... but, I can't..., and it hurts. Heh, it hurts a lot." He pauses shaking his head. "You shouldn't care about me. I'm not who you think I am. I only cause trouble. So, I honestly don't blame you for hating me."
"I don't hate you Taehyung." I reply shaking my head as well. "Listen to me; I do not hate you. I don't. And you..., you shouldn't hate yourself either. Don't tell yourself that your trouble. You deserve care, comfort and love just like anybody else. There is nothing wrong with you. Believe that. So tell me..., tell me, anything that it may be; ...what is it that I can do to make you feel better?" I fully express my true feelings towards him; asking him to give me his request.
"...Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Wah-what?" I stutter holding on to his hand; flustered by the idea of it.
"...I can't sleep. I just...really want one night of rest. Can I sleep at your place tonight?" he wholly states and I steadily nod in reply to his request.
"Um...my dad is coming home late again. And my brother says he's meeting with friends tonight. So, ...I don't see why not. ...You can sleep at my place tonight." I say and in response to my agreement; Taehyung steps forward then brings me in for a hug.,
Shit...I was crazy. Yup...I'm going crazy.
With gentle rubs to his back and him nuzzling into my neck; I hear his sweet voice softly murmur words I was thinking about in my head.
"...I think I'm crazy about you."
.
.
.
.
.
.
In that moment...; I felt slightly frightened by my own emotions.
...Butterflies...?
I breathe slowly, and felt something swelling up within me. I then found myself in a reflex looking upwards, as tears began to develop in my eyes.
Wait...
Stop...
Don't hug me like this...
Please...
.
.
.
Taehyung somehow had this amazing effect on me. I wasn't sure how it worked. But every time I fell into his arms; ...I felt safe.
As I watched him lay in my bed that night, breathing steadily with his chest rising up and down; I could this rare innocent side of Taehyung.
In my room, that was dimly lit by neighborhood lights; I watched as Taehyung lay in my bed fast asleep that night.
I honestly shouldn't have been staring so hard. I was completely captured by the way he looked. The beating in my chest was so heavy, that I honestly thought the sound of it was going to wake him up.
Why have you been having nightmares, Taehyung; and who the hell pressuring you?
These questions I wanted to ask him again.
But for the sake of his peace of mind; I wanted him to rest.
Reaching out and gently touching the loose curls of his hair; the sight of his bandaged hand comes into vision as I nip at my bottom lip in worry of his care.
For Taehyung to purposely punch glass like that; he was definitely going through something.
Now I understand...., of course he would be this worried about his best friend.
With a grab of my phone, then exiting out my room; I quickly go out into the main halls of the apartment complex, to make a phone call.
"Hello?"
"...It's me. Can you meet me after school tomorrow? I...I want to help you. I'll help you find out what's going with Taehyung."
"...Why the sudden change in heart?"
"I'm worried about him; ...maybe just as much as you are Jungkook."
"...Don't tell..., have you...fallen for him?" He asks and I clenched my jaw at such a silly thought.
"No. You warned me...didn't you?" I told him; disbelieving whatever I felt. "I'm saying this because I saw Taehyung today. And judging by your calmness I'm guessing you haven't."
For moments; Jungkook remained silent. But with a soft chuckle coming from his end he finally speaks.
"Alright, meet me by the lecture halls on block B. I think I found a way how we can both find out what's going on."
________________________
Taehyung's POV
Bzzz... Bzzzz... Bzzzz...
Incoming call: Hyoseong
Un-answered
3 Missed calls: Hyoseong
Bzzzzz0... Bzzzz... Bzzzz..
Incoming call: Hyoseong
Answered
"...Hello?" I answer the phone feeling groggy in my sleepy stage.
"Tae...? Where you?" I hear Hyoseong's voice weakly.
"What's wrong?" I perched myself on my elbows from Y/N's bed; pressing the phone to my ear.
"I...I need you. I can't do this anymore. I want out. I want out on all of it!"
"Hyoseong..., have you been drinking again? You promised me." I say; shifting the covers from over me.
"...You promised me too...; that I was all you cared about. ...I saw you Tae...; caring for that girl on Saturday in the main entrance." She utters and my thoughts brought up flash backs of that specific incident on Namjoon's birth night. "I thought..., maybe he was just being kind, because I saw Jungkook there too. But, then I saw the way you looked at her, the way you spoke to her; wiping her tears away. And that way you too her in your arms to carry her home...."
"...Hyoseong..."
"Heh..." she breaths shakily then speaks again. "The city view looks so pretty from up here. How the light glows in a blur within my sight."
"W-what?! Where are you right now?!" I shot up to my feet; running to the door.
"...I wanted to remember it in person..., the first night we kissed up here. ...I'll cherish it." I hear her say and I pause to remember to where exactly she speaking of.
"...Shit! Hyoseong! You stay right where you are; you hear me?! I'm coming to get you! Don't do anything reckless!" I cautioned her; darting towards the exit to the main hall.
Swinging open Y/N's apartment door; I see her jump; startled by my sudden appearance.
"I need to leave." I tell her; running towards the floor's elevator.
"Taehyung? Hey, w-where are you going? Tae!" she calls out to me, and I keep moving without a reply.
"...That's her...; isn't it?" Hyoseong speaks on the other end and I clench my jaw unable to tell her the truth.
I needed to reach to Hyoseong; she was drunk and out of it. Because of my wreck less actions of not being careful; again...someone was about to get hurt.
Pressing the letter 'L' on the elevator multiple times for it to open, I hear Y/N's footsteps approach me.
"Taehyung, what's wrong? Where are you going?" she asks and the doors finally open for me to step in. "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
"I need to leave, now!"
"Then...I'll come with y-"
"No!" I shouted and she staggers back; shocked at my tone. "Don't come any closer." I stated; ensuring Hyoseong heard that as well.
"Hyoseong are you still there?" I question; doing my best to keep her on the line.
And as the door's close before me..., I see Y/N look at me with eyes that cut me up inside.