"Naw! Don't try to apologize fuck nigga!" My momma was currently arguing with her 'boyfriend' over the phone. Her ass was also going over 75. Again.
"Please, slow down! Why are you always going so fast?!" I was sitting in the back with poor Diego.
Little dude told me last night that he was scared of dying because of my momma. That's tuff. I've been scared for over 13 years now.
She jerked to the right, drifting through two lanes and four cars.
I gave a silent pray to God.
"Fuck you Tyrone! And tell that hoe to stop eyeballing me when she ringing up my fucking poptarts at Piggly Wiggly. With her ole, debit or credit, do you want this bagged ma'am? Face ass!" She hung up.
"I swear, niggas ain't shit! I'm this close to becoming a fucking lesbian." She made a pinching gesture with her fingers.
She should have kept both hands on the wheel though, because the next second she was on the curb.
"Damn!" She yelled as she hit a mailbox.
She swerved back onto the road.
Me and Diego could only latch on to each other and pray.
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"WHAT YOU MEAN WE GETTING MORE KIDS? I CAN BARELY HANDLE THESE DEMONS!" I screeched at my momma.
She rolled her eyes. "You honestly thought that you would only have that lil amount for the whole book? Nigga we on chapter 13, you've had enough time to get used to the author adding more people then she can handle."
"What are you talking about?"
"Nevermind. Look, it's not like you'll be alone! That girl, what's her name? Geneva? She's starting a shift here. You got some more people starting here soon too, you won't be alone!" She began to push me out of her office.
"Now leave, I got another nigga coming over to rearrange my guts. Don't let the kids leave the room."
"You letting him hit it in your office? Ma. That's just trifling." I shook my head.
"Honey, my whole character was made to be trifling. The more crazier, the more votes. Bye."
She slammed the office door.
Votes? Character? She been eating the pudding again?
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"Diego, get off of me."
"No!"
"Jahseh, please... move your hand from...there. That's inappropriate." He slowly moved his hand away.
"You're no fun Stokeley, you know that? You should be like Daniel, live a little." He crossed his arms.
I gagged. "Sorry. You're too young for me. Plus, I don't think your sister would appreciate that."
Jahseh smirked and got out of his seat. "That's okay."
I smiled back. "That's great-"
"I'll find you in 13 years, then we can continue where I was trying to leave off." He skipped away.
"That lil nigga want the Stoke stroke!" Tay yelled.
"Jah-say tryna give Stoke his boo-tay!" Pete chimed in.
"Y'all niggas gay." Metri.
"Daniel 2.0! Fucking treyway!"
"Treyway?"
"Ion know. I heard him say it earlier. He be talking to himself a lot." Symere pushed his glasses up on his nose.
"Y'all chill out! I'm sure Jahseh was just playing." I added.
Jahseh scoffed. "No, Stokey pokey, I'm seri-" I clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Get the cots out."
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I sighed, they finally all fell asleep. Diego and Jah tried to take turns with begging me to let them fall asleep on me. Honestly, I think them two lil niggas tag teaming and plotting to do some weird shit to me. I shuddered at the thought, reminds me of one of Daniel's possible sex fantasies.
Speaking of Daniel, I need to ask my momma who the fuck hired that scheming ass pedo, and why they thought that it was a good idea.
While I'm at it, I'll ask about them urges too. I need to know whether or not I should carry around some pepper spray.
I'm low-key scared. Have y'all seen this niggas eyes whenever he stares at my babies? Yeah, you'd be afraid too.
I strolled my confused ass down to the main office. Once finally there, I called out for my momma.
"Hey momma, why-" I paused.
She had the blinds to her office window closed. She never closes blinds. Not even at home.
I could just mind my business and walk away. I'm sure that's what's best.
Nah.
I slowly crept over to the door. I could hear what seemed to be a muffled conversation. I thought she was having some dude over?
I pressed an ear against the door, my nosey ass.
I could only hear bits and pieces. Nothing more.
"How'd you... this..?"
"I...know....crazy right?"
"Stokeley......not....happy...this."
Wait, what am I not gonna be happy about?
The voices got closer. "He ain't got no choice but to be happy! This is his fault."
I stepped back. My fault? I shook my head and out my ear back. This time, I could hear everything.
"Does he know about? Well you know. I mean have you told him yet? Or did you tell me first?"
"No. He does know. I'm afraid of what he might think. What if he doesn't want a baby?"
Baby?! Wait a damn minute-
"So you're positive that it's his? And that you're pregnant?"
"Yeah. I'm 100 percent. He's the only one I've been with. I mean, i've had a few hook-ups, but I'm sure it's his."
"What y'all talking about in here?" I bursted into the room.
First thing I noticed was that it got quiet immediately. Then my mom looked shocked, but not as shocked as..Geneva?
My eyes slowly trailed down to the little stick in her hand.
Is that...a pregnancy test?
I studied it for a second. Two lines.
Oh hell no.
"What are y'all doing-"
"Get out!" My mom yelled. "Why yo fat, musty, baldhead ass snooping at the door?!"
"Why is Geneva here?!"
"I was-"
"She had a few questions about the shift she was supposed to be working next week! That's what, now leave!"
"And that requires her being pregnant?" I gestured to the test.
She quickly jammed it into her pocket. My momma just stood there, frozen.
They both stopped talking.
Geneva sighed and ran a hand through her curly hair. "Honestly, Stokeley baby, I think that I should tell you that i'm-"
"Oh shit, who got knocked up?" Daniel suddenly appeared at the doorway. His eyes met Geneva's.
"Damn, Stokeley done put his seed in a hoe. That's tuff. You should be like me, I bring condoms to work everyday. You never know when-"
POP!
I clocked that nigga in the face.
-JADA