Pokeley - Slumptacion

[seventy-one] turkey

I angrily swung my bedroom door open, my breathing was erratic due to me running home with mall security hot on my heels for fourteen blocks. I was on the verge of passing out.

My room was dark, and I mean pitch black. Jahseh was sitting in the corner with his knees up to his chest and he was biting his fingernails. When his eyes met mine I sent him a glare and he just hugged his knees closer.

"How the fuck, and why the fuck." Is all I managed to get out in the middle of all of my hyperventilating.

"Look, I can explain-"

"There's no explaining shit! You fucking, you fucking left me! You left me in the stall with my erection and your cum on the shoes of a security guard!"

".....my bad?"

"Yeah, your bad." I plopped down on my bed and grunted angrily.

Jahseh got up from his position on the floor and let out a light chuckle. "Well, at least you got away."

"I only got away because I shook my dick in circles at the guard. Apparently he was homophobic and practically ran from me and out of the bathroom. I slipped out and the rest is history."

"You pulled a helicopter dick? That's a classic."

"You ain't shit, Jahseh."

"So I've been told."

------------------------------------------------------

"Are you still mad at me?"

"Yes, now shoo. You presence is upsetting me."

"My presence?" Jahseh scoffed.

"Your aura is-"

"Have you been fucking with bath salts or something? My aura? What the fuck?"

"Negro please. I can't concentrate." I held my hand up.

Jahseh rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. You'll be out of your little pissy mood later. But don't," he thumped my forehead and I flinched, "talk shit about my aura."

"How have you not be sent to hell yet?"

"My father is a deadbeat, but he's not stupid. He knows that if he bans me from heaven, I'll raise hell. Literally. It'll be worse than when Symere's dad did it too." He poked one of my titties.

I slapped his boney finger away. "Oh please, you cry during Barbie movies. You're soft."

"Mhm. Keep that same energy."

"What energy?" My mom asked. They, as in my parents, must be back from grocery shopping.

"Regina leave the boys alone. You stay in somebody's business." My dad groaned and dumped some groceries on the kitchen counter.

"Rodney, don't start with me. I'll slap the hair follicles straight off of your dandruff infested scalp."

"Bitch, take yo wig off."

"And I- oop." Jahseh whispered. I snorted.

"I'll take my wig out when you take yo teeth out." She snatched a bag full of soap away from him.

"Yeah bitch snatch the soap." He frowned. "Maybe you'll go rub some of that shit between the crack of yo funky ass."

"Ya momma got a funk booty. Go tell that hoe to clean ha ass." She put the soap bag down and grabbed some plastic cups.

"At least my momma ain't retarded and wheelchair bound."

"That's because momma attacked her with a cookie tray." I butted in. They ignored me.

"Yo momma can't breathe without a machine with her fat ass." She put away some plastic cups.

"My momma can do something that yo momma can't though." He said in a matter of fact tone.

"What? Feed herself? Fatass bitch." She mumbled.

"No, walk." He said proudly.

"Nigga said walk! Whew shit!" Jahseh cackled.

"And when she do walk, her fatass gets tired and sits right back down." She picked up a 'whole' raw turkey and opened the freezer.

"Yo momma was legally a man until three years ago. That old tranny." My dad retorted.

"That was just too far!" My momma threw the raw turkey at my dad and he yelped, barely dodging the flying bird.

"Aaaaand that's our cue. Come on Stokeley, you can be mad at me upstairs where there are no flying turkeys." Jahseh hopped over the couch, and I followed because I didn't want to get hit with raw food.

"Y'all just gonna leave me here?! Help me! Regina, put the turkey- bitch stop playing! I'm sorry, i- Regina!"

-Jada