Pokeley - Slumptacion

[sixty-six] little problems

"Hey Jahseh, come look at this. The dude dressed as Leon from the zoo was arrested. Apparently, he was a serial rapist-"

I stopped short in my tracks when I walked into my room and found it empty.

"Jahseh?" I asked. I got no reply, which was weird because he was just up here.

"Yo, Jah? You in the bathroom?" I pushed the door open slowly. "You better not be in there shitting, I told you to use my parents bathroom when you need to dump a load."

The lights in the bathroom were off, he wasn't in there either. What the fuck? Did he poof his ass back to heaven or some shit?

"I hope you're not trying to scare me. I'd hate to have to knock yo ass out."

"Oh, please. I'll beat your shit in."

"What the fuck?" I jumped back at the muffled voice.

"Help me, it stinks in here."

I slowly turned to my right towards my dirty clothes hamper. It looked like it was... moving.

"Stokeley? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Jahseh is that you in there?" I slowly approached the basket. Some clothes shifted, and a tiny finger poked me through one of the holes.

"Please get me out. The clothes are heavy as hell. It smells like pickle juice and stale crackers."

I started to dig through the dirty clothes. I scrunched up my nose. 'Damn, that shit is foul.'

"How'd you get in there anyways? You're nearly taller than me."

"Actually, I'm shorter. Well, I am now." He said. His voice sounded closer. Why were there so many clothes in this bitch? I need to clean this shit.

"How am I taller?" I moved a shirt and felt my fingers brush against his nose.

"About fucking time." He breathed when I finally pulled him out.

"Um, Jahseh?"

"Yes honey?"

"Why are you so tiny?" I asked him. I was now staring at a six year old Jahseh again.

"You said what?" He looked down. "Aw shit. My dad done fucked up." He face-palmed.

"Are you serious?" I sighed.

"Okay, wait. This can work."

"How? I need my boyfriend to be older than fourteen, and you're not even double digits yet."

"Look, as long as I got lips to kiss, and you got arms to pick me up, were good."

"What if I want to do more than that?" I sat him down on the bed and he immediately jumped off, nearly falling on his face.

"I mean, I still have hands-"

"Fuck no. I'd rather not be an R. Kelly clone, thanks but no thanks. I'll wait." I patted his head.

Jahseh let out a little groan. "Stookelleeyy." He whined.

"What?"

"Pick me up." He held his arms out. I gave him a small smile and lifted him up.

"I forgot how cute you were when you were smaller."

"And I forgot how tall you were. It's sexy." He winked.

"That would have been romantic if you weren't literally a toddler right now."

"Yeah, speaking of that, you have my dumb, loose booty, ignorant ass dad to thank for that." I put him down because I could sense a tantrum. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms once he was on the ground.

I felt a small breeze and a thin layer of mist tickled my ankles. "How is it my fault?"

"Oh, speak of the Lord." Jahseh uncrossed his arms. Jeh was sitting on the bed with the same expression as Jahseh.

"I know you did this!"

"I had nothing to do with your age degression, I heard you blaming something on me so I came to shut your lie down." Jeh shrugged.

"First, fuck you. Second, fix me."

"First, that was hurtful. Second, I can't. I already tried to."

"When?"

"When you were talking to me a few seconds ago."

I blinked. I didn't say shit though, this has nothing to do with me.

"Do you think I'm stupid? You're God. You can fix me, you just don't want to, do you?"

Jeh scoffed and leaned back on my bed. "That's not true, and I'm not lying."

"Oh motherfucker please. You're the biggest liar I know, you fat hypocrite. Now fix me before I bite your kneecap." Jahseh stomped his small foot. It's a good thing that his clothes had shrunk along with his body.

"I don't have time for any petty arguments. I told you I couldn't, and I can't. I need to go, I have a war to stop." Jeh waved Jahseh off.

Jahseh pointed a finger at his father. "Hey! You cocklicker, don't you leave-"

Jeh disappeared in a cloud of mist and Jahseh let out an angry yell. He picked up one of my socks and threw it across the room. It didn't go far.

"Well."

"Ugh, I'm mad now. Being a tike sucks because now I want to take a nap." Jahseh rubbed at his eyes and tried to climb back on the bed. I helped him up.

"Come lay with me."

"Nigga-"

"Not in a bad way or anything! Just...hold me. I don't want to sleep alone. You can still cuddle me." He patted the empty spot next to him.

"...fine. But if you touch me while inappropriately, I won't hesitate to grab a belt and beat your ass " I joked.

"Oh. Kinky." Jahseh giggled.

"Woah there pal."

-JADA