I laid on my back stroking the twin's hands as they laid on my stomach, thinking back to what had just happened and my mind was running a muck. I was still having an issue with why they wanted me; I was so fucked up still, I mean I was working on it everyday, listening to self-help tapes, talking to myself in the mirror each morning that I was worthy, that I was lovable but I was still struggling.
My mind still wanted to try dragging me backwards instead of letting me move forwards and it was frustrating as hell.
"You'd better quit that" Aiden's silky voice said breaking me out of my self-deprecating thoughts. I smiled and turned my head to face him.
"Quit what?" I asked feigning ignorance.
"Chels, I've known you long enough to know when you are having that internal battle with your mind and it's always the same thing...why we want you. Stop doubting us, stop doubting you. You are exactly what we want and what we need. Never question that" He said sweetly.
I reached over and stroked his cheek and said "I know that and that's why I love you both." Oh.my.God!
I couldn't believe I had said that! My eyes got wide and I pulled my hand back like it was on fire, sat up, quickly got off the bed and walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph I said to myself; How To End A Relationship 101 my mind teased. Fuck! My dress was still out there and that meant I had to go out there and face them both, I knew Adrian had heard what I said because he gasped, just like Aiden had.
I've gone and ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me all because of 4 little words. About the time I was getting my big girl panties on so I could walk out of the bathroom there was a soft knock on the door.
"Chelsea, there's no need to hide. You need to come out. Now" Adrian commanded. Oh boy Mr. Silvano, the Dominant was back. My hand was shaking as I reached for the handle and pushed it down and opened the door. I had found a shirt hanging on the back of the door and put it on because now I felt ashamed, embarrassed and exposed.
I walked out with my head hanging down and found my way to a lone chair sitting in the corner; I couldn't even bring myself to sit on the bed with them now. Aiden was sitting up in bed, his knee bent up and his forearm resting on it and Adrian was sitting on the edge of the bed just covered by the silk sheet.
I twisted my knitted fingers nervously and before I knew what was happening silent tears started to fall.
"What the hell?" I heard Adrian say softly. "Talk to us, kitten" Adrian prodded.
I sniffed and it sounded gross I know. "Just say it" I said barely audible. "I ruined everything with us because I couldn't keep my damn emotions in check. I told Monique I always fall too hard, too fast and it ends badly, every time. Just give me a minute to get myself together and I will be gone." You could hear a pin drop, the silence was deafening.
Finally Aiden spoke up. "What makes you think that we are going to fucking let you go anywhere?" he yelled. I'd never seen that much emotion out of him the whole time I've known him. Him raising his voice like that had made me jump and for a moment I had unpleasant thoughts of fights that would start with Christian like that.
"Aiden, calm down" Adrian instructed his brother. "Chels, why would you think that we want you to leave, to just walk out of here and out of our lives?" he asked truly perplexed by it all.
I shrugged and said "I don't know, maybe because I said the 'L' word?" I could see both brothers looking at each other and then they looked back at me.
"Do you think so little of us?" asked Aiden, a little more calm. Adrian patted the space between them and said "Come back to bed, kitten." I sighed, got up and climbed back into bed only because I knew it would do no good to fight either of them on this.
Adrian got up and started to get dressed and that scared the hell out of me. "I have some business to attend to and will be back later. Chelsea, call Douglas and tell him that Aiden and I will bring you home tonight. I'll return soon" he said placing a kiss on my forehead and he disappeared through the frosted door.
Aiden pulled the sheet up over me and then rolled over so he was hovering above me. He gently tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and said "Why would you think that we wouldn't want you anymore?" I sighed and stared at the beautiful man above me.
"You guys are the first safe and what I would classify as a normal relationship I've ever had. I'm still learning what to say and what not to say; sometimes things pop out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop it and by that time there's nothing I can do, it's too late. I know I had already told you both that I loved you and you told me but it was the one time and it was never said again. God, I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm trying to say. I'm so fucking confused!" I said frustrated.
Aiden lowered his head to me and kissed me. "Do you love us?" he asked.
I nodded and said "Yes I do. Very much." He smiled and it was gorgeous.
"Then put everything else out of your mind and quit worrying about whether we love you. We do and we are not going to talk about it anymore, understood?"
I said okay as I felt his hand go between us, slipping himself into me, we made love until I forgot everything but them.