MILO’S P.O.V.
As Josh pulls into the driveway, the nerves I’ve been fighting all day start too let themselves freely run around my body. Shit. I’ve actually got to do this now.
May slips her headphone out of Liam’s ear as he continues to sleep peacefully against the car door. He’s such a cute kid, spending so much time with him this weekend has been almost as nice as all the time I’ve spent with his gorgeous brother.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you for this? I know you said you’re fine but I really don’t think this is something you should be doing on your own.” He's sweet, so fucking sweet. I have no doubts that he’d walk in there with me right now but in all honesty, I think this is something that will go a lot better without him.
“It’ll be okay, besides, I won’t be alone.” I glance back at May and she smiles that little grin of hers between me and Josh.
“I got him Boo, ain't either of those weirdos that he calls parents gonna do anything to him with me around.” She’s my personal guard dog, with a nastier bite.
Just as I lean forward to kiss him goodbye, the front door swings open and Dad steps out waving at the car.
“Shit.” Josh looks over at him and waves back, turning back to me and smiling.
“Don’t worry, we can make up for it after the party later... Call me when you’re ready for me to come get you. Or after this if they try to send you to some camp first.” He chuckles as Dad makes it to the car, fucking cock-block.
The next time I see him, I’m fucking kissing him no matter who’s watching.
Dad wraps his arms around May, who doesn't even bother to try and get her case before wondering straight into the house. Him and Josh have a little conversation about work while I pull all the cases out of the trunk.
Josh looks back at me as we walk towards the house with our luggage, it feels so fucking foreign to let him go without kissing him first. I know that everybody isn’t going to be overly happy about this but at least when they all know I won’t have this problem anymore.
Dad drops our cases by the bottom of the stairs before walking back towards the kitchen. I don’t know what Mum’s cooking but I can see May itching to go get her hands on it and fix whatever she's done wrong. May definitely inherited Granny’s ability too pick up on what's wrong with a dish without even having to fucking taste it.
She’s been pretty chill all weekend, but now that we’re home I swear I can see the anxiety building up through her body from her toes. Or maybe she’s just dreading what’s about to come as much as I am.
“You ready for this bro?” I nod. I don’t want to be hanging around with this weight around my neck anymore, it's better to just get this over with.
My stomach is clenched so hard that I swear if you lifted my shirt up it would be twisting on my skin. I mean, how mad can they really get? If all that shit hadn’t happened with Eli then I’d be in college right now and they wouldn’t have a fucking clue whose bed I was sleeping in every night anyway...
May stands directly at my side as we walk through into the kitchen, Mum standing at the counter tossing a salad in a bowl as Dad grabs whatever she's cooking from the oven.
“Hey you guys! Good trip? Let me just get this all sorted and you can tell us everything.” It's funny sometimes how people change without you ever really noticing it. Like with the way Mum is standing directly in the light cascading in through the kitchen window right now, I can see the odd strands of grey that now scatter themselves throughout her chocolate brown locks, as they sit messily on the top of her head.
I don’t think I can wait for food. I already feel like I’m going to be sick.
Mum picks up the salad bowl, stepping around the counter towards the dining table.
“Actually Mum...” May can sense my heart rate raise a mile off, slipping her hand into mine and squeezing it reassuringly as I look back at her and smile. There’s nothing I can’t do with her by my side. “Mum, Dad, can we talk? I have something to tell you.”
Mum freezes mid step, clutching the salad bowl tightly between her hands as she looks at me, only to steer her vision towards May and then drop it to our combined hands.
“Oh no...” The salad bowl slips from her grasp and smashes to pieces at her feet as she just continues to stare at us. “Oh God Cole... It’s happening again!”
What the fuck is happening again?
Wait...
She continues to stare at May's hand in mine and the realisation of what she’s implying suddenly hits us both at the same moment. Oh fuck...
“Oh Jesus Christ Mum! No!”
I’m going to throw up.
I’m definitely going to throw up.
May instantly lets go of my hand and clutches onto the edge of the doorway as she tries to stop her gagging. I join her, the bile rising in my throat at what the fuck my mother just suggested.
“Mum this is not an Aleah and Jayce situation! Can you both just go sit down at the table, we’ll be there now.” Seriously, those kids definitely caused this woman some fucking damage.
She’s so relieved that she doesn't even argue with me, Dad giving me a questioning look but continuing to follow her through until they’re both sitting at the table.
I turn to May, whose skin is now eerily grey as she desperately tries to keep down the Pop Tarts she had for breakfast. “You’re still coming with me here right?”
She nods, gently removing her grip from the wall but still maintaining a strong distance between us.
“Yeah I’m coming, but I really need them to create bleach for my fucking brain so I can erase these fucking images.”
Both of us shiver and shudder as we slowly make our way towards the kitchen table. I’m definitely going to need some kind of therapy now. Thanks Mum.
Bright side, after what she just thought surely my actual news can't be that bad.
May and I lower ourselves into the chairs opposite where they sit on the bench. I’ve never really been afraid to tell them anything, not even when me and Eli got into the crash, but right now I’m fucking terrified.
“Milo, what’s going on?” Dad asks, clear concern in his voice as he sits forward and gives me those eyes of his that always make me feel safer than being wrapped up in cotton wool.
“Look, it’s not anything bad, or at least I hope you won’t see it that way.” May nods at me and I know it’s better to just get this out. “I’ve got a boyfriend.”
Neither of them say anything for a second, both of them apparently expecting everything else but that sentence to come out of my mouth. I get ready to continue when suddenly Mum reaches across the table and pulls my hand into hers.
“I love you Milo, this makes no difference to me. This doesn’t change anything, you're still my son and I love you. Actually, I’m really proud of you... Are you happy with him?” My mum’s honey sweet voice has always been something that brings me contentment when other things wouldn’t, I didn’t doubt she’d be okay with this part but it’s still a relief to hear it.
“Mum, I’ve never been happier.” May smiles, leaning her head against my shoulder as both my parents grin back at me.
“Then I’m happy for you.” She says with an ever growing smile. I hope you mean that.
“Me too. We love you for who you are Milo, not what you are, but we'll still love you for that too because what isn’t to love?” Dad adds, swinging his arm around Mums shoulders and pulling her in against him.
“Soooo... Who is he?” Mum asks, snuggling in further to Dad as they both look at me like I’m the most special person in the world to them.
I hope you still think that thirty seconds from now.
May squeezes my thigh as my foot starts to bounce erratically, forcing me to take a deep breath before I let the words leave my lips.
“It’s Josh.”
I wait for the screaming but Mum just continues to smile at me, for a fleeting moment I think everything is going to be fine until she continues to talk and I realise that this is far from over.
“Josh? Is he one of the guys on your team?”
May tries her best not to laugh, but it still escapes her.
“No Mum... it’s Josh.”
She just keeps smiling at me. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I really don’t remember meeting a Josh... Did he come here with you or have I met him at your school?”
Jesus fucking Christ...
I see the moment that the penny drops for my Dad, his arm slowly slipping away from my Mum as the colour drains completely from his face whilst he just continues to look at me blankly.
I nod at him to let him know that what he’s just figured out is correct and his head falls back against the wall as he let’s the reality settle in.
“Tara...” Mum looks up at him, still clearly confused. “He means Josh, Aleah’s Josh.”
She whips her head back to face me, lifting her body from Dads and leaning forward on the table just shaking her head repeatedly. Oh no...
“No. It can’t be Aleah’s Josh... He’s Jayce’s age... He's... Aleah’s Josh? Is this one of those tiktok prank things you kids do? Because it’s not funny Milo!”
I shake my head at her, she needs to understand this is very real.
Words continue to spurt through her lips but they stop making sense completely. She just keeps repeating the words Aleah and Josh next to each other like she’s trying to make them sink in but they just refuse to go past the surface.
“Tara you really need to stop calling him that, he’s more like Milo’s Josh at this point anyway. The things he’s doing with Milo are very different to what he has been spending the last few years doing with Aleah.”
May you are really not helping here!
Mum’s jaw falls open as I kick May directly in the shin. I’m sure I’ll pay for it later but right now she needs to learn to shut it.
“Could you to just go upstairs for a minute, both of you, I need to have a quick chat with your mother.” I can see Mum is shutting down, she isn’t even looking at me anymore. May pulls my hand so that we both get to our feet but as we get to the staircase I can already hear them talking.
“This isn’t okay Cole. He’s ten years older than him. We all like Josh but why Milo? He’s a nice boy, he could have someone his own age. This is wrong... Do you think he's pressured him into this? Manipulated him into thinking he’s something he’s not?”
Is she fucking serious right now?!
Like fuck am I letting them talk about Josh like this...
May doesn’t even fight me as I rip my hand from hers and storm back through into the kitchen, Dad seeing me coming and attempting to try tell me to calm down but it's a bit fucking late for that.
“Pressured me into what exactly? Into a loving relationship? Into being with the first person that’s ever walked into my life and actually made me feel like I’m fucking worth something?!” Never once in my life have I raised my voice at my mother but right now she really needs to fucking get what's happening.
“Milo, you really need to understand what's going on here. He’s far more mature than you are. Phases like this happen all the time and-”
“A phase? You didn’t seem to think it was a phase before you found out the guy I’m with is Josh! This isn’t something I just decided to do out of nowhere Mum, I’ve felt this way about him for as long as I can remember. It may have only just started with him about me, but we’ve been doing this for months now and it's fucking real.”
Mum start stumbling over her words trying to get them out but I don’t let her.
“Don’t you dare give me shit about the fucking age gap. There’s a bigger age gap between you and Dad than there is between me and Josh. And as for maturity, you had Jayce at fifteen! You were four years younger than I am now when you decided you were mature enough to become a mother but you don’t think that I can make a decision about who I fall in love with?”
I can feel my anger rising, the last time I let it get like this I really hurt the most important person in my life and I don’t want to let that happen again. I take a deep breath, I want her to know that the next words that leave me aren’t said in anger, they’re just the truth.
“Mum, I love you and I appreciate that this isn’t something you’re going to be able to get your head around overnight, but it is something you’re just going to have to accept. Me and him, doing to us what you did to Lee and Jayce again, it won't work out well for you. I won’t let you destroy us like you destroyed them, if you want me to pick... then I’ll pick him. If you can’t accept this, I pick him. If you try to intervene in anyway then you should know right now that you'll lose me, because I will pick him. I will always pick him. It’s your right to feel however you want about this man but you really need to understand that this isn't like it was for the last kids that you tried to stand in the way of. I’ll just leave, I’m nineteen, I’m not a kid and I have someone who would be more than happy for me to turn up on their doorstep. Remember that.”
Dad says something to me as I walk out of the room but I don’t catch it, grabbing my hoodie off the staircase and heading straight for the front door.
I try to pull it closed after me but May catches it and slips outside, wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning her head against my shoulder.
“She’ll come around Milo, just give her time... I’m really fucking proud of you you know, you deserve to have someone like him even if they can't see it.”
When my anger bubbles down and I can talk again, I need to thank her for saying that.
Kissing the top of her head, she slips back inside the house and slams the door closed. I pull my hoodie back over my arms before racing down driveway and turning towards Eli’s place.
After the crash I gave my mother more control than I should have. I know I scared the shit out of her so I thought that by being the perfect son and obeying all her rules that she would learn that she could trust me again.
I was fine to let her have that hold when it was only my life that it was affecting, but it’s not like that anymore.
Now she needs to accept the fact that I’m not a child anymore, so she can’t continue to try and have a hold over me. What me and Josh have, people should be happy to see their kids with someone who would care about them the way Josh cares bout me.
The walk to Eli’s is long but it's a good way to clear my head. By the time I turn onto his block everything seems a lot calmer, my phone buzzes just as I get to the top of his drive.
‘My guy: Whatever they say, however they feel, it doesn't change anything between us. You’re my stars, that means that every single day you shine brightly and I get to admire everything that makes you so special. They can’t ever take that away, you're mine now.’
I am his. They can accept that or they can’t, but it doesn’t change what it is.
Eli opens the door before my hand even knocks against the grain, pulling me into a hug like he hasn't seen me for a year.
“Man! I didn’t know you were coming yet, how was your trip? Got any good shots of you guys by the lake... Was Brie in a bikini?”
I shove him back into the house, laughing at how easily my best mate can change my mood. If there was one person I was never afraid to tell, it was this guy.
Although I do have a slight concern that my best friend has a crush on my boyfriend.
“Dude, sit down. We have to talk.”
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