JOSH'S P.O.V
Aleah, shit.
She just keeps looking up at us with total disbelief, I can't fucking blame her but there's not even the hint of humour that Brie had in her eyes last week, this girl just looks like she genuinely can't understand what she just saw.
"Lee?" Miles crouches down and tries to draw her attention but her eyes are just bearing through me and burrowing into my soul. Please don't look at me like that Al... It's still me..."Lee, I know you're in shock right now that I kind of need you to start breathing again."
Miles reaches out to touch her shoulder but the moment his skin makes contact with hers she instantly recoils. Shit, she's really not fucking okay with this... She just needs to give us the chance to explain.
"How..." She's desperate to ask us something but the words just don't seem to want to form in her mouth. Miles stands, the hurt at the way she just reacted to him clear in his eyes as he takes another step away from her.
No... It wasn't supposed to be like this...
She lets her eyes full from me and move to face him. She just stares at him like she seeing him for the first time, the confusion still abundantly clear as she tries to process how the little boy in her head is now the man before her. Trust me, I get the struggle... I wasn't expecting her to take this as well as Brie and Steve did, Miles is essentially her baby brother so I knew this wouldn't be easy for her but I at least thought she'd want to hear what we have to say.
As I look down at her again I realise the bang we heard was one of Liam's suitcases from the bottom of the wardrobe falling down against her. I lean behind her frozen body to stand it back up but she immediately throws her arms up over her eyes.
"Josh, for fucks sake, go put some fucking clothes on. I think I've seen enough of that for one fucking day!" A part of me wants to laugh, but considering all that stands between her and my dick that still has Miles' tongue imprinted on it is a thin towel, I guess this isn't the best time for laughter.
I take a pair of shorts from the side and pull them on quickly, Miles doesn't move even when he can see Al struggling to get herself back onto her feet. He looks almost as shell shocked by her reaction as she is to what she just saw. I think deep down he always just assumed she'd be supportive, just like he was with her and Jayce.
When she finally steps out, we all just stand there kind of looking at each other, the scream mask still shaking in her hand. What the fuck am I supposed to say here? I haven't got a clue what she's thinking and quite frankly this isn't how I thought this conversation would go down.
"So, are you two going to explain what the fuck I just saw or are we all just going to stand here until we wither and die of fucking embarrassment?" I look to Miles and he does the same to me, neither of us really know where to start here.
Guess I'll give it a go then...
"Al, obviously you weren't meant to see that. It's not... I mean we aren't just... We were doing..." I really need to get my words together, she's looking at me like she has no idea who I am anymore and it's throwing me off.
"It's pretty fucking obvious what you were doing Josh, that's not the part I need explaining." Al steps between me and Miles, turning to him and keeping her back to me. She can't even fucking look at me now... "Milo, is this because of Jayce? Because of what he said last night?"
Miles looks really confused, staring up over her shoulder at me and looking for answers that I can't give him.
"What do you mean because of last night?" Damn... His voice right now... I've never heard him scared before, he loves her so much and I know he doesn't want to hurt her.
Al takes hold of his hands and leads him to sit at the edge of the bed, giving it a look like it's fucking contaminated before perching herself alongside him. This side of her; the soft voice, calming tone, gentle touch - it's the side of her I see at work when she's with her clients. Why is she letting her inner therapist out right now?
"Jayce told me this morning about everything, about what you two talked through last night and everything that will be happening with him at the end of the season. I understand that hearing his dreams are coming to an end so suddenly could make you start worrying about your own future. It's normal too react to that type of thing with some strong emotions, but you shouldn't latch those emotions onto the nearest person. There's nothing wrong with experimenting with who you are but you should really be doing that type of thing with somebody more appropriate."
Oh Jesus fucking Christ.
She really doesn't understand what's going on here does she.
Miles is trying really hard not to laugh at her clearly overly sweet counsellor voice, or the fact she thinks he basically pinned me down like my cock had the magical ability to cure emotional trauma, but I just can't keep in the chuckle as I watch his lip quivering trying to stop it all spilling out.
"Al, you've really misunderstood the situation." She drops his hands, letting go of the fake sweet and innocent voice and throwing her arms up in total exasperation as she looks between me and Miles, who has now given up on trying to rein in his giggles.
"Well then what the fuck is going on Josh?! When I saw him all happy playing basketball earlier I thought it was because he genuinely felt fucking pleasure that he was cool with his brother again, not because he's been getting fucking handsy with his weekend roommate! And what the fuck were you thinking?! Jesus, have you two been at it since we fucking got here? Oh God, you cannot tell Jayce about this! Whatever fun you both have been up to in here stops fucking now before things get out of control. We'll just pretend it never happened and I never saw anything, we good?"
She's really not getting this.
There's barely a bang on the door before Brie just strolls straight into the room, freezing immediately and making May walk headfirst into her back as she senses the atmosphere in here.
She flicks her eyes from Miles to me and then to her best friend, letting them fall to the scream mask in her hand before she starts to roll her eyes.
"For fucks sake Al, we told you not to do it in the room! May was supposed to record it! Did it go wrong? Wait... why do you all look like I just swallowed your goldfish?"
Al starts to panic, trying to come up with one of her crazy unreal excuses but Miles just immediately cuts her off.
"She just found out about us, and she's not taking it well." Al stops her ramblings about killer squirrels breaking into the room to hunt for their lost nut-princess immediately upon hearing those words.
"Us?" She flips her entire body around to face me, finally making the eye contact she's been avoiding since she came out of the closet... Haha, she came out of the closet.. God, so not the fucking time Josh.
I've always been able to read her really well, it's one of our gifts, but right now I can't make out what she's feeling at all. "What the fuck does he mean 'us' Josh?"
Miles goes to say something but I shake my head at him, she needs to hear this from me.
"He means that this isn't us just fucking around Al. You remember me telling you about the guy that I met two months ago? The guy that I can't stop thinking about, the guy that you told me at lunch to make sure I got no matter what because he was making me smile so much?" She lets her eyes fall from mine, twisting slightly to look behind her at Miles still sitting at the edge of the bed. "It's him Aleah, it's always been him."
Miles, stop waving at her, she knows who you are.
My words seem to hit her like a truck, her whole body growing so heavy that she collapses back onto the edge of the bed. Everyone just gives her a minute, letting her process what I'm sure was the last fucking thing she thought she'd be hearing today.
"So this is... It's a thing then? You two aren't just fucking?" Al rests her chin on her hands and just stares out into the space of the room. I didn't expect her to do cartwheels or throw a parade or anything when she found out about us, but I didn't think it would hit her this hard.
Miles edges his way off the bed just as Brie walks further into the room, clicking her fingers at him and extending her hand.
"Mini Thompson. Phone. Now." She keeps her hand in front of his face until he reaches into his back pocket and places his phone in her palm. I have no idea what she's doing, grabbing Miles' hand and pressing his thumb against the lock to open the home screen before kneeling down in front of Al and putting the phone into her lap. "Look babe, this is real."
I don't understand what she means, walking forward until I can see what she's making Al look at. My heart hits my ribs so hard at the sight that I know it will leave a bruise with his name on it for eternity. Staring back up from the glare of the LED is his phones background, it's one of the photos he took that time me, him and Liam went to the gaming cafe. Liam has the sweetest smile but me and him are just looking at each other. We just look so... happy.
How long has he had that as his background? Did Brie see it was on there or did she just know that he would do something this fucking cute?
Al continues to stare at the image, and for a single moment I swear a smile tries to make its way onto her lips, before suddenly another emotion hits her.
She jumps up from the bed, dropping Miles' phone straight onto the floor before shoving her hands into Brie's shoulders.
"You knew! You fucking knew about this and you didn't tell me?! If you'd told me then I wouldn't need so much fucking therapy right now to erase what I just saw from my mind! Do you know what it's like to catch these two fucking at it?!" Me and Miles catch each others eyes and grin, Al losing her shit is usually a pretty good sign that she's feeling better.
Brie smirks. "Bitch, how the fuck do you think I found out?! They were going at each other like a farmer on his last fucking dairy cow right in your bathroom!"
Brie you are really not fucking helping here!
The light pink shading that was coating my mans cheeks now turns the deepest shade of maroon, and I'm sure mine look exactly the same fucking way. Al turns her attention from Brie to the miniature version of her standing in the doorway.
"What about you? You find them getting freaky in the middle of the cafeteria or something?!" I would never do that! Although there was that time in Coach's office I guess...
May doesn't even try to hide her laughter, almost crying with tears as she shakes her head, giving Miles a sympathetic look as he buries his head further and further into his hands.
"No, Milo just told me when all this started." Thank you May, finally someone who doesn't make us sound like animals. "Although... If he hadn't I guess I still would have figured it out when they both came out of Brie's guest bedroom panting like dogs and covered in fucking hickeys."
I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill them all.
Brie spins on her heel to face her sister before shooting her glare at me.
"My guest bedroom?! With me in the fucking house! You two were getting down and dirty in my fucking house behind my fucking back?! Can you two seriously not control yourselves at all?"
Is Brianna fucking Parker seriously giving ME a lecture about controlling myself sexually? Grab a bible and run for the bastard hills people, the end is nigh.
Al can't deal with the overload of information. Letting her whole body fall back against the bed as she stares up at the ceiling and appears to let every molecule of oxygen out of her lungs when releasing the deepest of breaths. She's going to be okay... right?
Brie edges her way onto the bed to lay down next to her, before waving her hand towards me so that I lay down on the other side.
Miles and May both just stand in the doorway smirking at the three of us as we just lay side by side looking at the details in the architecture like it's somehow going to give us the answers.
"Beaut, are you alright? I know this is a fuck load to take in but it's happening either way, so you just got to accept it." Brie putting bluntly what the rest of us would have at least tried to add some sugar too. Fortunately, Aleah has spent her life with this girl as her best friend so she actually finds comfort in her being so upfront.
I turn my head to face the girl that has been by my side ever since we were two broken souls who collided with each other in a destined hallway back in college. For almost ten years she has been a pillar of strength in my life and I really don't think I could live without her at this point. Please be okay, I can't do this without you...
She turns to me, those glowing ocean eyes of hers meeting with my own and instantly the softness that she's always shown me is visible again on her face.
"So, it was him huh? All these years of me hoping and praying that you would find somebody that would make you open up that ridiculously huge heart of yours, and he was in the room across from mine all along?" She smiles at me, not the biggest smile I've ever seen but one that tells me she's at least trying. That's all I need her to do right now.
I look over at him, every inch of him a man I never could have predicted he would become, but each one a part of him that now fits so perfectly with my own.
"It's him Al." Reaching over, I stroke my thumb along her delicate cheek and try to remind her with my touch that we're still the same two people she has loved for so long, we just feel so differently about each other now. "I'm so sorry you had to find out like that, it's the very last thing that either of us wanted. This, me and him, it's the best fucking thing in my life. I really want you to be okay with this but there's no pressure to get there quickly, I just need you to know that he's so fucking important to me... I don't feel broken anymore when I'm with him."
Those words trigger an immediate reaction from her. We've spent so many nights talking about it, the way that my soul broke the same night that hers did. She managed to pull all the love that Jayce gave her into those deep cracks, filling the spaces in-between with the smiles of her children and letting the warmth of their hugs seal it all in place.
Sometimes when we were really drunk I'd get so close to telling her the truth about everything but I would always end up stopping at the point where all I could tell her is how broken I am.
She knows now what he means to me, a decade of pain being slowly chipped away from its calcified state on my heart until finally it's free to beat in rhythm again, with his.
Brie slips up off the bed and is quickly replaced by Miles, both of us slipping our hands into hers to try and reassure her that this doesn't change shit between us. Whatever happens between me and him, she will always be our girl.
She moves her vision from me to him and back again, eventually choosing just to look above us as a smile much truer than the one she had earlier spreads between her cheeks.
"You're happy aren't you? You've both got that fucking look." She chuckles, squeezing both of our hands in turn before bringing them up onto her stomach. Both me and Miles smile down at where our hands sit over the secret life growing inside of her, before hers meet with his again.
"We're really fucking happy Lee, he's the best thing that's ever fucking happened to me." He says it with so much sincerity that I know she won't doubt a word.
It's funny how he thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him when he can't possibly ever understand what being with him has done for me. I used to be so scared that one day he'd just wake up and change his mind on everything, I don't fear that anymore, he's proven that I don't have to. But I also know that if it did happen I still wouldn't regret a moment of being with him, he changed my whole life the day he kissed me.
Al let's her head lay against the mattress again before picking up our conjoined hands and bringing them both to her lips, kissing the backs of each of our palms in turn.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like that, obviously I just wasn't expecting this but it sounds like neither were either of you... Are you sure about this? It's not going to be fucking easy for you guys, I'm pretty sure you're both about to put Tara into some kind of asylum and let's not even get started on what Jayce is going to fucking do. I hope you have a decent life insurance policy Josh because we are going to need about thirty different coffins for all the pieces he rips you into." She says it as a joke but there's a part of me that doesn't doubt it could happen.
Miles disconnects his hand from Al's and reaches over to cup my cheek. There's not even a hint of fear in his eyes, he never seems to be afraid when it comes to us.
"I know it won't be easy Lee," He replies, not realising that her eyes are now solely focused on the way his hand caresses my face. "But we're going to make it work no matter what anybody else thinks. Anyone that can't be happy for us doesn't deserve us, because who the fuck wouldn't want me with someone like him, he's perfect."
I really need everyone to get out of this room right now, I can't go another minute without having my lips on his.
A tiny sniffle from between us draws our eyes apart as we look down at my blubbering best friend. Those bloody hormones... Brie doesn't hesitate to climb up onto the top of the bed and slip herself under Al's head as she strokes away her tears.
"They're too fucking cute right? Almost made my block-of-ice-heart melt when I first saw them looking at each other like that too." Al nods her head, sitting herself up enough that she can lean over and kiss my cheek before turning and doing the same thing to Miles. She's going to be okay, I can't say the same thing for her husband, but this woman has never let me down.
"I can't believe you two didn't just tell me this. Okay, I want to know everything, now." May walks over and squeezes herself into the space above my head, all five of us now on the mattress for what seems like a bit of story time. "When did this start exactly?"
She shuffles up so all three girls sit with their backs against their headboard watching us with excitement like we're about to read them a chapter of their new favourite tale. It's quite funny that it's only been a few weeks but I feel like this story has a lifetimes worth of hope and laughter in it already.
Miles twists so we sit side by side facing them, his hand falling between us and taking my own as he smiles that cute fucking smile directly at me. I really fucking adore him.
"Will you two stop looking at each other like you're the only ones in the fucking room and tell me. This all started...?" Patience was never one of Aleah's virtues, although where she just managed to materialise that bag of chips from his definitely a rare talent.
"At camp."
"At your wedding."
We both answer in unison, her jaw falling open at Miles' confession, but it only makes me smile more.
I let him start, his fingers clutching at mine as he walks her through things that were happening for him long before he became what he is to me now.
There's not a part of me that never gets tired of listening to him talk like this. I know it took me a while to catch up to where he's always been but at least now I know our destination is exactly the same place.
Tonight.
I'm asking him tonight.
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