Y/N's POV
It was windy today. The sky is covered in a thick blanket of clouds, shielding us away from the scorching rays of the sun. We are at the field now, at least some of us. Having a day break from all the practice. Today is our last day. Well, tomorrow we would all be going home and the next day after that, we would be graduating.
I still don't know how to feel about that. We are all leaving in a short time yet I feel like there's still tons of things I haven't done. I feel like it would be a great regret. The worse thing is that, I haven't quite figured out what to do about it. But I could just feel it in my gut.
It's really mind wrecking. It's like being afraid of something. That something being so unrecognizable that you begin to fear everything instead. And I've tried to chase that feeling off by reading. Just to try and take my mind off things that's going on.
"Y/N, if I get married, you'd be there, right?"
I paused from reading and turned to Yu Yan. My brows furrowed and I looked at her in question. She was looking up the sky, a hand under her head. Too caught up with her own thoughts to notice anything going around her. I huffed and lightly hit her with my book.
"The heck's going on with your brain..." I grumbled before turning back to my book.
I ignored the annoyed groan she let out as she propped herself into a sitting position. She let out a soft sigh as she resulted to leaning her back against my side. I just shook my head. Maybe she's just getting bored again and started thinking of the most random things.
"But I'm serious though..." She started again.
"Sure..." I just hummed and nodded.
"When I get married, I want you and Lin Fan to be there. She'll probably cry more than me, though. And I could already imagine you scolding her. Then I want to have a huge cake! Maybe six tiers... and it will be red velvet from Aunt Hua's store. Also the bouquet would be baby breath and the motif would be gray and neutrals..."
"Are you seriously crying?" I mumbled in disbelief as I watched her dab at her eyes.
"I am... thinking of the future makes me so emotional." She admitted, which only weirded me out even more. At usual times, she would be denying it to no end.
"E-erm..." I mumbled as u awkwardly looked around. All I have is book. "Do you want to read?" I offered but she glared at me and gave me a hit on the head.
"Yah!" I complained and tried to bock her as she continued to swat at me.
"I, your friend, am crying and being emotional. And you comfort be by offering a book? Really? A book?!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
"I'm sorry! All I have is a book!" I defended as I scrambled to get away from her.
"What an amazing friend you are..." She sarcastically said before she continued to cry like a baby.
And like the utter idiot that I am, I just stood there for a couple of seconds. Not really knowing what to do in the situation. Something was going on with her for sure. I scratched my head.
"Stop crying, Yan." I spoke as I poked her shoulder. "Listen, I'll go to your wedding okay? Also Lin Fan. And the cake and flowers are on me." I muttered and let out a sigh.
Who was she even marrying?
"Really?" She muttered and looked up at me with a pout.
"Yes, really." I confirmed and nodded my head.
"Okay!" She grinned before wiping her tears like she wasn't even crying.
"Oh – kay.... So weird." I mumbled under my breath before reluctantly returning to my book and reading.
"I kinda want cake..." Yu Yan mused. I didn't reply before she nudged me again. "Y/N, I want cake." She repeated.
"What do you want me to do? I don't have cake." I groaned out as I closed my book fully.
"But you can make one right?" She said and blinked repeatedly. "Even just a mug cake?"
I pursed my lips before letting out a groan. "Fine."
"Great!"
With that, she's tugging me up and towards the cafeteria. Truth be told, is that I was craving for something sweet as well and a mug cake sounds good now. And also doesn't take a lot of time. The two of us headed to the cafeteria and surprisingly, we didn't cross the others on the way.
"We're gonna make mug cake, mug cakes yeah!" Yu Yan sang in excitement as we started crushing some cookies.
I let out a sigh and just let her be. And I think anyone would agree when I say that Yu Yan's cute when she's like this. And no chance that she'll actually listen when I tell her to stop. The mixture was soon done and now we are waiting for it to cook in the microwave. I sat back on the chair and continued with my book for the mean time.
"Glaring at it won't make it cook faster, Yu Yan." I commented as she watched the microwave.
"I know... but it feels satisfying." She answered and shrugged before going back to glaring at the microwave.
My brows furrowed even more as she continued to act weirder. I don't even know why she decided t choose me as her victim for today. Where is Daimeng anyway and also the others? It's unfair that only I get to suffer here.
"This is taking way too long." Yu Yan groaned. "I'm gonna get a drink, you want one?" She offered and pointed to the vending machine at the corner.
"No thanks." I declined and shook my head.
"Okay, won't take too long." She spoke before she stood up and jogged towards the machine.
Just then, the microwave finally let out a long-awaited beep. I closed my book and went towards it to take the mug cakes out. They smell so good and at an instant, Yu Yan popped up beside me, hands holding a plain black can.
"Wait, let it cool down for a bit." I spoke before she could reach out to the mugs and she let out a huff. "What's that? I don't think I've seen that brand before." I then asked and gestured to the can.
"Oh this? I don't know either." She shrugged before opening up. "It was the only one and I got curious. It didn't even have a name on it."
"Don't you think that's a bit unsafe?" I pointed out as she goes to drink it.
"Ah, it's fine..." She waved me off. "Why would it be there if it's poison or something." She reasoned and before I could say anything, she already took a swig on it. "Ooh, it taste like citrus? Maybe pomelo? It's good, you want some?" She offered and I shook my head.
"Heck, Yu Yan... I swear, if you die..." I grumbled and rolled my eyes before I felt her hit my arm.
"You're overdramatic. I'm fine!" She laughed off before she drank from the can again.
"Whatever. We can eat now." I muttered before sliding one mug towards her and grabbed the other for myself.
The cakes were still warm as we ate. With her, taking swigs from the mysterious black can from time to time. I didn't say anything about it anymore. She seems completely fine. I turned my attention towards my phone instead. And time passed and our mugs are already empty and so was Yu Yan's drink.
What's weird was that Yu Yan started to laugh and giggle to herself about the littlest of things. And I mean it. The curtain could be swayed by the wind and she'll be laughing her ass off about it until her face turns red.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall!" She suddenly sang out with a round of giggle. "I don't need you anymore!... what goes next, Y/N?" She then asked and acted to hand me a mic.
"Erm... I'm the smartest of them all?" I continued, not sure if it was right.
"GRLS, my girls!" She finished and let out another string of laughs. "Geez, your girlfriend sang that. How could you not know?" She huffed.
"Huh?" I mumbled as I continued to watch her in a weirded-out way.
"Yuxin? Your girlfriend? Unless you have another one we don't know about." She rolled her eyes, her face still flushed.
"Are you all right?" I asked instead, ignoring what she said.
"Sure am!" She answered and gave a thumbs up and a wide grin.
My brows furrowed before my eyes landed on the suspicious can that she just downed. I grabbed it and examined it. It's the only reason I'm seeing for her questionable behavior just what in the hell is in that can?
I ignored Yu Yan as she continued to blabber about some nonsensical things as I tried to piece everything together. The answer finally came as the corner of the packaging came up and I pulled at the paper. My eyes widened. It was freaking alcohol.
"Y/N, I'm gonna die..." Yu Yan suddenly spoke up, making me look up and see that she's now close to crying. "I'm seeing stars..." She added as she waved in front of her eyes.
"You're not dying. You're probably drunk. This is alcohol." I pointed out and lifted the can. "Correction. You're definitely drunk." I mumbled as she turned to me, eyes already half closed.
"I'm not dying!" She cheered and pumped her first before slumping on the table, passed out.
"Oh my god..." I groaned before cautiously looking around. Now I have to deal with this.
I guess luckily for us, there's not much people in the cafeteria as almost all of us them are outside and practicing. But I couldn't be too sure. A teacher could walk in right now and we'll be in deep trouble.
"Come on, we need to go." I stood up and went over to pull Yu Yan up again. "Yu Yan, wake up!" I hushed and slapped at her cheeks. Lightly, of course. "Come on, before Mister Shang comes."
I let out a small groan as I was finally able to heave her up. One of her arms over my shoulders as I started guiding us out of the cafeteria. My heart was literally pounding in nervousness as we made it out into the hallway. Now that Yu Yan was closer, I could smell the faint scent of alcohol on her.
I dragged her to the nearest practice room. I need her to sober up. Dinner is coming around and the teachers always check the attendance. I scratched my head as I looked at her passed out form. How could she even get so drunk after just one can?
"Maybe cold water..." I mumbled before nodding. "Right, Y/N. Freezing cold water."
I turned and walked out the door, remembering to close it fully. I just need to find where to find cold water. I saw another vending machine and immediately jogged towards it. I searched my pockets and luckily I still have some money on me.
"Are you goddamn serious now?" I groaned out as the bottle got stuck. " Come on!" I then tried to tap at the glass but it did nothing.
I could feel my patience running out. I don't have any money anymore. "I just want a freaking. Bottle. Of. Water!" I grumbled and gave the machine a kick out of annoyance for every word.
"Freaking finally." I huffed as the bottle finally fell down. I squatted and went to retrieve it. "It just need to irk me..." I muttered as I glared at the bottle.
"Baobei."
"Ah, baobei!" I exclaimed in surprise and immediately turned and stood up.
I let out a groan as I felt my head collide with something hard. I clenched my eyes and clutched at the spot before letting out another groan as the pain pulsed. That hurt like a bitch.
"I'm sorry, are you all right?" I then felt hands nudging my own out of the way and rubbing at the throbbing spot.
I opened my eyes and was greeted by pale blue color. But I could tell exactly who it was. If the smell of chocolates wasn't even enough of giveaway. I slowly looked up, hands falling to my side. I could see how her chin was now red. That must've been what I hit.
"E-erm.. I'm okay." I uttered out as I pulled away from her, nearly bumping to the vending machine behind me before I stepped to the side. "And you? You all right?" I asked and pointed to my chin.
"Oh..." She mumble before prodding at her chin and wincing slightly. "It's fine. My fault for scaring you." She answered and gave a small grin, cheeks turning a faint pink.
For a couple of seconds too long, the two of us stood there. Not even fully two feet away from each other and not speaking. I bit my lips as I shifted from one foot to another. I feel like I want to say something but I just can't figure out what it is.
"So..."
"So..."
Awkward silence rose again as we spoke in sync. "You go first." She then said and nodded at me to continue on.
"Umm, did you need anything?" I mumbled in question and mentally kicked myself over. Really, Y/N?
"Mister Jin said dinner's in 15, so I'm informing the others. I think you're the last, actually, since I was trying to find you." She answered and all I could do was give a nod.
"Oh, okay. I'll follow suit." I said and my eyes landed on the bottle of water I was still holding. Right, Yu Yan. "Umm, excuse me then." I gave her another nod.
"Wait! Lin Fan was actually looking for you too and also Yu Yan." She said and I turned to her again. Yu Yan will definitely get caught if Lin Fan knows.
"Listen, if she asks you again, you didn't see me, all right?" I requested and her brows furrowed. "Okay, bye." I finished, not giving her the chance to respond before I started jogging away.
I headed straight to the dance room where I left Yu Yan. I let out a relieved sigh as I stepped inside. All right, all's just fine. I was about to close the door when a foot prevented it from closing. My brows furrowed in confusion and I looked up only to come face-to-face with Yuxin.
"U-ugh, yes? What is it?" I asked out, nearly stuttering as I blocked Yu Yan from her sight.
"Is there a problem?" She asked out and tried to look past me.
"What? Oh, nothing, of course." I answered and shook my head. "You should go now." I suggested and tried to push her off the door.
But she didn't listen and stood on the tip of her toes, a hand resting on my shoulder. "IS that Yu Yan?" Her eyes squinted. "Why is she passed out on –"
I let go of the door and clamped a hand over her mouth instead. "Shush, Yuxin. Be quiet!" I hushed and placed a finger on my lips.
Her eyes were wide with surprise and confusion as she looked at me. I poked my head out the door to make sure that no one's in the hall before I pulled her in and finally closed the door. I pulled away from Yuxin and pursed my lips. She probably won't tell on us, right?
"What happened to her?" She asked and pointed at Yu Yan.
"She got drunk." I mumbled with a small sigh.
"Drunk?"
"Yes, drunk as in aftermath of an alcohol."
I walked back towards Yu Yan and uncapped the bottle. "Yah, Yu Yan. Wake up!" I called out as I sat cross legged on the side and shook her up.
She only let out a groan and shuffled around. My lips pressed into a thin line as I grew more impatient. How light weight could she be to get drunk just after a can of beer? I poured some of the freezing water into my hand before sprinkling it to her face.
"W-wah?" She finally shuffled and opened her eyes as she rubbed her face.
"Wake up." I repeated and continued sprinkling water.
"I already am!" She yelled and shielded her face. "W-why is the room s-spinning?"
"Drink up. They'll be checking the attendance soon." I said instead and handed her the water bottle.
For sure it won't take long for her to collect her wits, right? Hopefully. I don't really want to miss dinner. Yu Yan can really be stupid sometimes, can't she?
I glanced back and saw Yuxin still standing there, quite awkwardly, as she shifted her weight from one side to another and kept messing with her hair. I didn't actually expect that she would stay. Maybe a bit. More like hoped. With her feels like walking and moving in a constant gray line.
"Umm, you can go ahead now, Yuxin. We'll just follow." I decided to speak out, drawing her attention towards me.
"Oh... actually..." She trailed off and rubbed at her nape before continuing. "I was wondering if I could... I mean, I don't have anything to do. So, maybe I could just stick with you... guys? You guys?"
I could feel the urge to grin as I watched her fumble around. But I bit it back. "Your choice." I answered and turned back to Yu Yan, lips curled up into a small smile now.
It wasn't long before I felt Yuxin sit beside me, knees brushing ever so slightly as we exchanged no words. I kept my eyes on Yu Yan. Mentally screaming at her to recover quickly.
"So... how did she get drunk again?" Yuxin asked, tone dripping with hesitation and I could trace her want to start up a conversation to kill the dead air.
"Well, someone snuck alcohol into the vending machine at the cafeteria and we didn't know." I answered and took a glance at Yu Yan who's still out of it. "... and you can tell what happens next. Sounds like one last issue to solve then, President."
"Hmm?" She hummed, making me look at her to see her leaning back, hands planted behind her. "Today's our last day before graduation. I guess it would be fine to let them have their fun. Right?"
I wasn't really planning to give a reply but she gave me a nudge. "... if you say so..." I just gave a small shrug.
I pinned my eyes on my nails, the walls, the floor. Just to stop myself from looking at her again and being caught. Even if the air wasn't really awkward and I know well the it might just be me who is making myself feel awkward for no reason at all. Yuxin was quiet, appearing to be lost in her own thoughts.
I glanced at Yu Yan. What's taking her so long, honestly? I only snapped out of it as Yuxin let out a small laugh, and my head snapped towards her. And almost gave myself a whiplash.
"Sorry, I..." She trailed off as she took a deep breathe. "I just remembered something." She finished and I could feel one of my brows raising in question and she seem to notice it too as she grinned before answering. "Remember last January? When we were out and we saw Kong Xue'er drunk? Yeah, that one."
"Oh..." I mumbled as I remembered and I could not help but grin. "Yeah, I remember that one." I nodded and let out a small laugh to which she joined in with.
Before I knew it, we were suddenly caught up in a reminiscing conversation about that night. It's all still vivid in my head. How could I forget, right? It was a warm, yet thrilling and exciting memory. It was like seeing everything in a new perspective.
"...and you it the dumpster about three times before we could even leave."
"You're exaggerating. It's only twice..."
"And I think there was even a cat on it!"
"Well, I didn't kill it." I pointed out and she just laughed.
"Bu that night was really pretty, wasn't it?" She spoke again after a few seconds passed.
"It was." I confirmed and nodded. "Wasn't planned but it just made it prettier of a moment..."
"Yeah... we... we weren't really perfectly planned. But it just made us prettier of an experience."
That made me glance at her. The words she let out ringing in my mind. There was a smile that painted her lips. Eyes curved into small crescents as she looked back at me. I gave her back a small sigh. Because she is right. It was probably the best of times.
There was a lot of things we could've done and had. That's the truth.
A small sigh left my lips at the thought before I turned away. Too many regrets. I could practically see it in her eyes. I jolted as I felt her move closer, knees now bumping. I didn't dare look, eyes pinned on my clasped hands.
"Please don't feel bad." She then whispered before I felt her hand on my hair, patting softly.
"I don't..." I mumbled lowly. "I just... I don't know... really." I let out a huff.
"You know what I think?" She started, making me glance at her. "I think you do know. And maybe you're just too reluctant to say it out loud. But you don't have to be, you know? Don't let me make you feel bad."
She gave a soft smile, not matching how her eyes wavered before she blinked it away. "I'll understand whatever it is. You can say it." She assured.
"Xin..." I mumbled as I reached over and placed a hand on top of her head. "What am I to do with you..." I trailed off.
I hate how this is all on me. How it became my decision alone. I don't want to make the wrong one.
I saw how her cheeks flushed as she continued to smile. "爱我..."
I could feel my face growing warmer as she said that. Matching the hue on her face as we looked at each other. I could feel my heart rate slowly starting race as she slowly moved closer. But I didn't make any move, eyes remaining stuck to hers. I didn't want to move.
I could almost see the cloud of anticipation in the air now. Her eyes fluttered shut as the distance between us continued to lessen. Oh my god. My hand that was on top of her head slid down and rested on her shoulder as I felt my eyes closing as well.
"Excuse me! I'm still here!"
A small gasp left my lips and my eyes snapped open as I literally jumped away from Yuxin. My wide eyes landed on Yu Yan, who was now sitting up and watching us with her arms crossed. She rose a brow at me and it painted my face a hotter red. I glanced at Yuxin who was in the same state and cleared my throat before looking back at Yu Yan.
"If you're all right, we s-should head out now." I uttered out as I stood up. "I think the teachers might be wondering."
"Sure, Y/N, sure." Yu Yan muttered before glancing at Yuxin.
"T-tsk. How can you even g-get drunk with just a can of beer." I diverted the topic and helped her up.
"It was a first... who knew." She plainly shrugged. "But whatever... let's go."
With that, she started heading towards the door, making me quickly follow her as she started to sway unsteadily. I glanced back and saw Yuxin still sitting on the ground and looking up at me.
"E-erm, we should go now..." I mumbled. I couldn't even looks at her straight.
She only gave out a nod and started to stand up as well. I turned to open up the door for Yu Yan. Hopefully, no one will notice a thing. And if someone does, I hope they aren't too nosy.
"Y/N, wait! Yuxin called out and I turned to see her breaking out into a small jog. I could feel the faint heat on my face as I remembered earlier. But I remained waiting for her to say what she needed to. "Before sleeping... could we talk, just us two before sleeping? Please?"
I swallowed the lump in my throat as my pulse quickened again. But I still nodded. "Sure..."