Y/N's POV
The weather is nice up here. It wasn't too hot or too cold to bear. Closed eyes as the breeze tossed my hair all around. It's so quiet and peaceful here. I almost don't want to leave and stay here for as long as I possibly could. Here, I'm away from everyone else. Those prying eyes that seen to cut through my soul as I walk down the halls. The whispers and mumbled that they share about. As loud as screams. It was tiring.
How long has it been now? Since all things went downhill and I barely found something to hold on to and stop myself from falling as well. was it only two weeks? It's a cruel joke that a lot of things could happen in such a short amount of time. And I feel like I could never keep up.
I let out a long sigh as I turned to look below, leaning over the railings. I guess this is the serendipity of my situation. I would have never gone up the music building's rooftop in hopes of finding solitude. And I didn't fail. Because I have been going here everyday since then and no one has found out. No one even goes up the building anymore as they go to the theater hall instead.
I could see the other students out in the field. Laughing with their friends like they do not have anything else to worry about. Everything seems to be going good and according to plan for them. Good for them, I guess.
While me, my life is too messed up at the moment. Dad is till persistent with his persuasion. He did not let a single day pass without trying to trip me into agreeing with him. I have not told mom, or anyone. I know she's already preparing for the hearing and I didn't want to rattle her up. I figured I'd just have to bear with it as it wasn't for long anyway.
And my messed-up school life. Rumors are still flying around with new addition every day after what happened with Zeng Keni. They said I was cheating or cheated on Liu Yuxin. Or that I threatened to do something bad to Zeng Keni. It didn't take long for them to catch up about Liu Yuxin and I and our current... situation.
And you know what's funny? It came back to how things were in the beginning. When we would curse each other every day. All the blame, got put one me. Rumors that I cheated, or that I hurt and just used her or even put a curse on her as if I was some magical being. But I wasn't surprised. Because, who am I for them to believe against Southshire President Liu Yuxin? Who got just about everyone on the palm of her hand? Who they think can do nothing wrong? Right, I was no one of great importance.
It still sting to think about all the things that went down. But what else can I do but move on?
"Good morning Southshire High purple lions!"
I blinked out of my thoughts as Mister Zhu's cheery voice rang through the speakers. With another sigh, I brushed a hand through my already messy hair as I continued to listen for what he has to announce.
"Students, the results of your final exams have been computed! The results have been posted on the bulletin board for the lower years. Be reminded that those who failed are required to complete supplementary classes to make up for their grades." He continued on.
What about the seniors' result? I could only hope that I didn't do too disappointing.
"Now, as for the seniors. Your results are also at the board. But we have chosen the top 20 boys and girls to perform at the graduation night. The female students to be called shall proceed to dance room number three and the males to number six. Liu Yuxin, Lee Y/N, Yu Yan, Xie Keyin, Zhao Xiaotang, Xu Jiaqi..."
He continued to list down the names and from below, I could see students either going to the bulletin board or to the practice room on the seniors' building. I didn't move from my position. I don't think I want to participate in another performance with nineteen other people. It will be too crowded and stressful. Both of which I want to avoid.
But then again, it seems like I don't really have much say on this or the whole matter. I waited until I don't see anyone rushing again and until the crowd slowly dissipated before I pushed myself off the railing and started walking towards the exit and down the building. My pace was slow as I trudged towards the practice room where the others are.
"President Lee!" Keyin's familiar voice rang throughout the corridor. I turned back and saw her running towards my direction. She grinned widely as she clutched her notebook. "Phew! I thought I was late and the last to arrive." She sighed in relief as she matched my pace.
"I am late." I deadpanned and her lips parted, before she just shrugged.
"Well, I guess it's better than being late alone."
The two of us continued towards the room. Upon entering, I didn't waste an second before sitting on the spot closest to the door and ended up next to Daimeng. Keyin followed and occupied the spot next to me. It brought slight relief to me that the room isn't too quiet. It brought my mind off the fact that she was in this small room with me.
"President Lee..." Keyin called out as she started flipping through her notes and scooted closer. I stayed quiet, figuring that t's something about the schedule.
"We were supposed to have our Yes! OK! Practice now, but I already assigned Fu Yaning to take over and lead the others to practice while we're here. The fashion department also said that they finished the adjustments to the costumes and is waiting for feedback. Same with the video and photography club, their proposed posters and trailers are done as well and just needed to be checked. You have a meeting with Ella Laoshi and the team regarding the stage set-ups this afternoon... and yeah, that's all for now."
"Good." I mumbled and nodded. "I'll get those done as soon as this is over."
"Yah, Xie Keyin. Are you sure you guys aren't stressing Y/N out?" Yu Yan spoke up from where she is sitting next to Daimeng. Keyin let out a gasp and threw Yu Yan an offended look.
"Excuse you! We don't stress our president as best we can. The schedule we prepared is for optimal productivity. With it, she finished a lot of tasks and not because we stress her. Unlike some-"
"Stop talking." I drawled out, cutting Keyin off as they're both ranting in my ears.
Thankfully, they both stopped and I didn't hear anything anymore from them. My eyes panned the room and I saw Lin Fan sitting with Keran on the corner. Her eyes landed on me and she gave off a wide grin and a wave. Both of which I could only reply to with a nod. She didn't seem to mind it as she returned to animatedly talking to Keran.
The room only went into complete silence as Lisa Laoshi walked through the door. She announced that we will be grouped into two, to perform two songs at the graduation night. She turned the television on and played us both songs and it made some of the others excited as started to get hyped up.
"Those are the two songs." Lisa Laoshi said as she paused the song. "Both are already completed tracks. Once you're grouped into two, you can choose the title you want for the song. Clear?" She asked and we all nodded.
"Now, in a piece of paper, I want you all to write your name and what you want to perform either song number 1 or 2. After, fold it and drop it to this bowl." She ordered as she showed a small fish bowl. "This is to ensure that you'll be grouped equally without influence."
With that, we all got to work to do her instruction. I felt my pockets and found a random blue sticky note and just borrowed a pen from Keyin. I wrote my name on it and song number 1. I returned the pen and started folding the paper. The others are taking their time in choosing and I didn't want to be the first to drop my paper.
Luckily, it wasn't for long and Lisa Laoshi started going around to collect the papers herself. before long, she started to pick the papers and group them into the songs that they picked. Yu Yan and Lin Fan ended up with song number 2 along with Daimeng and Liu Yuxin. Song number 1 was a good choice, I guess.
"Next..." Lisa Laoshi trailed off and she finally picked my paper. "Lee Y/N, song number 1." She read and I stood up to walk over to my group as she continue on with the others.
"President Lee! Wow!" Shuxin exaggeratedly awed as I ended up sitting next to her.
"Owow!" Jiaqi copied and now I'm stuck between them. My brows furrowed before I sighed and just decided to ignore them.
But they apparently didn't get the clue as they continue to fool around while Lisa Laoshi is finishing up the groupings. I pursed my lips and tried to divert my attention. I'm not in the mood.
"President Lee! Do you wanna build a snowman?" Shuxin sang again and covered her mouth to muffle her voice.
"It doesn't have to be a snowman!" Jiaqi followed, her voice also muffled.
"Be quiet." I grumbled and prodded at my temples. "There's even no snow in April."
"Aiya, Jiaqi! You're too loud." Shuxin scolded the other and I felt her scoot closer to me, her head bumping against mine. "Shh, be quiet." She then shushed Jiaqi and proceeded to wrap her arms around my torso like a koala.
That thankfully didn't have to last for too long as Xiaotang ended up pulling her away as soon as she joined the group. Lisa Laoshi also finished grouping us and left the room to let us have our discussion. Our group ended up naming our song Hunt since it's the theme anyway.
"We should pick a leader now." Sun Rui suggested as we were all quiet.
"I think Y/N could be our leader." Lingzi said and they all turned to me.
"Yes! President Lee should be our leader!" Shuxin exclaimed and shook me up.
"Are you okay with it?" Xiaotang asked and I just nodded once.
"Okay, Y/N's our leader!" Jiaqi officially announced before she attached the pin to the front of my sweater.
I bowed my head at them before fixing the pin. "Those who want to try out for center should prepare now. Maybe just the hook and just improvise. The center should have the vibe of the song." I stated.
That passed without a hitch. They were hyper and kept the energy on high as those willing to try out for the center position, stood up and started coming up with what to present. I stayed sitting on the floor and just observed them quietly. The other group seems to be working out great as well. judging from the laughs that Xi'ai managed to pull out of her groupmates.
In the midst of waiting for my teammates to finally finish preparing, I felt my phone starting to vibrate in my pocket. I think I already know who it is. I took the phone out and as expected, it was Dad. I could have easily blocked him, but I couldn't. Maybe it's because I'm still stupidly hoping that the next call he'll give me, he'll apologize and actually try to fill in his role of being my father.
"Are you gonna take that?" I looked up and saw Keran looking at my phone screen as well. I didn't answer. I don't know either. "If you are, then I'd watch over the others to keep order." She offered.
A small sigh left my mouth before I nodded and stood up. "Thanks. It won't be long."
I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. It took a few seconds for me to finally accept the call. But I didn't speak and just waited as the phone pressed up to my ear. I could feel my chest tightening in anticipation and I found myself clutching at it in hopes of chasing the feeling away.
"Lee Y/N, this is the fourth time!"
That was a very nice greeting in place of a 'hello'.
"Are you really owning up to the role of a disappointing daughter?!" He snapped and I could almost visualize his raging face if he were right in front of me in this moment. He continued on in his rampage of accusations that I've grown to be numb to by now.
"Are you really owning up to the role of a disappointing father?" I mumbled under my breath.
"What did you say?!" He shouted. "You are nothing without me. You wouldn't be there right now with that dream of yours if it wasn't for me! You think that damned mother of yours make enough money to send you to that school? Fucking no! You think you could talk to me that way when you have nothing to be proud of? Huh!"
I closed my eyes as I continued to listen to him. Is it forever going to be like this? I shouldn't be feeling this guilty about things like this. I didn't even ask to be brought up in this cruel world. Or maybe I should? Could it really be that I'm being ungrateful? I shouldn't be doing this to myself.
"Give me an amount." I spoke to stop him from all his rants and complaints that it was my fault in the first place. Why he had to sacrifice his everything and waste money on me. When I'm not even worth anything.
"What?!"
"Give me an amount..." I mumbled and pinched my side to compose myself. "So that... so that after I'm finished here I would work and pay you back for all the things that you w-wasted on me. And you won't have anything to hold against me and give me hell for, anymore."
I know that saying that would just make him angrier. But what else can I do to stand up for myself now? His constant guilt trips and blames are too tiring. I'm afraid one day I'll start believing those things too and hate myself. I guess it's also my fault how I keep giving him chances and hoping he'd change his mind. But I guess people don't really change.
"Who are you to talk to me like that?! I am your-"
"Goodbye." I muttered and without anything else, ended the call.
"Isn't it getting tiring to be alive?" I lowly said as I slipped the phone back to my pocket.
I stayed standing there for a few more seconds, taking deep breaths in a futile attempt of reassuring myself that everything would go just fine and to ready myself to face the others again.
I turned to walk back inside, head down and eyes focused on the ground. I momentarily paused as I saw someone's shoes in front of me. Someone had been listening in. What's this? Another drama? I slowly looked up just until I could see a name tag.
Liu Yuxin.
Of course, it has to be her. Now she has another thing to hold against me again. I didn't continue looking up. I couldn't. I don't want to see the cruel look on her face as she judges me. Instead, I stepped around her and back into the dance room. I'm not going to be stupid. That's the least I could do for myself.