A/N: My laptop has officially died. RIP HP. My biggest Mistake was not saving most of my work on a flash drive. ^^'' So in the end result I was left without my chapters and had to rewrite everything :(
Funny thing is XD everything I wrote is different from what's in my laptop but it's actually for the best. Had to keep things moving. Thank you for your continuous patience! <3
_________________________
Chapter Summary
Taehyung and Y/N finally reunite after the lockdown of the WaVe. Although the nightmare of that night is over; the past still haunts them both with more secrets to share.
WE CONTINUE
I still couldn't come to terms with what Jungkook told me.
How could my family even do something like this behind my back.
A restraining against Kim Taehyung; the man who saved my life.
None of this makes any sense...; why would they even issue him a court order like that?
Does...does Madam Choi know of him?
Taehyung knew Herin so does that mean they've met before?
And...if so...; why would Madam Choi hide this from me?
Holy shit..., was there no one in my family I could trust anymore?!
Even my own brother Taemin knew the truth about this and said nothing while I sat there and conveyed my feelings to him.
He knew how I felt!
He knew I was hurting.
He knew I trusted him so why?!
Why keep it a secret?
Was I that easy to fool?
Do they really see me as someone weak after all?
To be honest...you'd think I was sad; but to tell you the truth...I was absolutely furious!
My seething resentment towards my family's measures to protect me made me so angry; that there was no visible reason to accept the motives behind their actions.
The lies they continuously fed me repeatedly has completely drained me in such way that I now fear my trust issues have literally doubled in size.
I knew very well that my anger towards them would never solve anything.
But still; how can I ever confide in them again?
The only reason why all these lies started in the first place was because everyone who surrounded me believed that their intentions were for my best interest.
However; what my family failed to understand was that none of them had the slightest clue about what was best for me.
For the only person who could truly figure that out was...well, me.
You see, I wanted so badly to erase my past and begin a new chapter in my life; that I assumed I could have done so by moving back to my father's home country.
But who could have imagined that my own past would have granted me to my wish; one that was strangely and unwilling obtained.
I was gradually losing hope in myself; and I was also becoming more and more afraid.
Of course, standing alone at empty bus terminal in a rain storm would make anyone uneasy; especially when they have no idea where they are.
"Wow..., my life really sucks balls" I sighed looking up to the sky listening to thunder roar. "...Was this what wanted? Does my miserable life entertain you?!" I shouted questioning the universe for answers. "An illness; really? Was not meeting my birth mother sad enough? What do you want from me? How much more sadness must I take? I just want things to go back to normal so please....; this one time please grant this wish." I spoke as tears filled my eyes; hoping I was being heard.
And with a soft glow of light bouncing off my retinas and over my face; I hear sound of tires hissing over wet pavement from the rain.
Dear readers..., if you're seeing this; I hope you've garnered enough information to remember what I've said to you before...
About life and the one person that
Do you remember...?
The reason why I'm telling you this story in the first place?
You see..., no matter how hard I try to deny it; it seemed a certain someone and I have always been and will always be connected.
My story began with him; and just as you'd imagine; so did the last of my days.
He was someone that tore me apart, but did his best to mend the broken pieces.
He was someone who suffered as much as I did; yet still did his best to help others for the sake of their happiness.
That one person who entered my life and decided to completely turn it all upside down
The one who saved me
The one I called Kim
"Taehyung?" I voiced as I saw the person exit from out the vehicle and into the rain.
"Y/N!" He shouts dashing towards me; feet splashing water as he sweeps me into his arms. "Thank goodness! Thank goodness you're alright. How on earth did you get here? And all the way in Incheon! Why did you leave the hospital, hmm? Do you know how dangerous it is to wonder this late at night alone?" He questions pulling me away; sternly looking at me. "What if something had happened to you, huh? Your family must be worried sick not knowing where you are. Why would you do something like this Y/N? What If you had gotten hurt?" He continues scold me; and I couldn't help but feel great relief to see him here.
"Tae-Taehyung..." I say his name feeling warm tears falling from my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I really had no idea they did that." I apologized feeling great remorse by my family's actions.
"Hey..., did what? Why are you crying? What are you talking about, hmm?" He panics by my sudden outburst; wiping my tears with his hand as I tried to process my words.
"The restraining order my family put against you."
"W-wait a second; how did you find about that?" He asks with hands resting on my shoulders as he looks at me.
"Jungkook told me...." I relayed and Taehyung sighs heavily while pulling me back into his arms as I began crying face first into his chest once again. "T-they had no right to do something like that. If I had known about it earlier on; I would have ensured to put a stop to it. I'm so sorry Tae; you honestly never deserved it."
"Hey..., come one now. There's no reason for you to apologize for any of this. None of it is your fault." He softly whispers as I wiped my face clean from slobber and snot. "Please stop crying...."
"I'm-I'm not!" I fib, feeling like a complete mess.
"Are you sure you're not lying?" He questions as I stood there quietly; me waiting for my emotions to get its shit together.
"...No-Y-Yes...?" I faltered and he lightly chuckles at my uncertainty.
"You're so silly..." He cradles my face with warm tender hands while gently caressing my cheeks. "...God I've missed you...." Taehyung expresses and I instantly look up meeting his eyes as he looks at me. "Fuck..., you're soaking wet."
"H-huh?!"
"You're clothes; their wet. We need to get you out of this storm, and all dried up." He mentions grabbing my things and I caught myself blushing as if I were in heat. "Come on; follow me." Tae takes a hold of my hand leading me towards the vehicle; seating me in the passenger's chair.
I was a blubbering mess from seeing him after so long; it was so bad much that I completely forgot how to act normal around him.
I was shy and so timid and even thinking out of lust.
It was a feeling I haven't experienced in so long.
I was behaving and feeling giddy as if this was my first crush.
After all, there was really no reason for me to deny it anymore.
For when it came to Taehyung...; I almost felt as if I was in love.
Heh..., that's crazy..., right?
Me being in love with him?
Wait, ...was I really?
My thought ran wild while viewing his profile beside me.
"Is this better?" He asks while adjusting the heater, turning every single air vent unto me.
"Ye-yeah, thanks; but, what about you?"
"I'm fine." Tae says while driving off. "It's better for you not to catch a cold. We just need to hurry up and get you out of those clothes." He mentions and I sigh heavily reading too much into his words.
"...If you keep talking like that and I'll probably catch a fever for sure." I mumble; feeling my face heat up from thoughts of my own.
"Did you say something?"
"Oh uh..., I said; if I had started walking back...I would have probably missed you for sure. You know, ahem; because of the bad weather." I quickly thought up hoping he didn't catch on.
"Well, I'm glad you didn't. Besides, it's my fault for taking this long away." Taehyung spoke while reaching over for my hand, sharing his body heat with mine. "The truth is Y/N...; I haven't driven in the longest time. It's been a little over two years since I last sat behind the steering wheel of a car." He tells me and I quickly remember that this was one of the main reasons how we ended up here. "I've...actually never told anyone about this. I bet you think I'm probably pathetic after hearing this."
"Absolutely not!" I quickly disagreed. "In fact, I think the complete opposite. I admire you for being able to tell me the truth Taehyung. It really means a lot that you're able to be so honest with me." I squeezed his hand, showing physical support. "However, before you say anything else; I want to be honest and let you know that, well...I already knew about this. W-which by the way was nobody else's fault but mine." I faltered foolishly giving myself away.
"Wait a second...; did Jungkook tell you this?"
"N-no, you've got it all wrong." I lied, hearing Taehyung sigh softly with a shake of his head.
"...O-okay, okay..., so he did tell me."
"Unbelievable...."
"However, in Jungkook's defense...; I was the one who pressured him into telling me about it in the first place. So, if anyone is to blame here, it should be me; not Jungkook. So please, don't be angry with him; be angry at me instead." I honestly expressed feeling sheer guilt hovering over my head.
"You know that's not possible Y/N. I could never blame you."
"Then don't be angry with Jungkook. He was only looking out for you. It's my fault anyway; since I was being extremely nosy."
"Yeah but, regardless of the matter; he should have never gotten you involved with Jin."
"And that was my decision. I only wanted to help you."
"That's just it. I don't need anybody's help, I'm fine."
"Fine? So, you think smashing a fist full of your hand into a glass mirror is fine? Are you not seeing how concerning that is?" I question and he remains silent. "Why can't you see that we only did this because we were worried about you. Because I was worried about you! Because I care...; I care about you." I tear up looking away from him. "You see, the truth is...the last time we spoke on the roof of our apartment; it was clear to me that you were going through something very troubling. You mentioned about how you were being pressured and that you were having horrible sleepless nights. Taehyung..., you told me you hated yourself; what kind of human being would I be to not try and seek help? It hurt me to see you break down like that; the way you looked as if you lost hope in yourself. And...as crazy as this may sound...heh; I didn't know how much I cared about you until I that very day." I genuinely confessed wanting to pour out my heart to him. "I know..., I know I shouldn't have pried, and I'm sorry. It was extremely of me to do so. But...Jungkook was the only one I could reach out to. I really wanted to ask you myself about what was going on; believe me. It's just that, you bolted out of the apartment so damn fast just to meet up with Hyosung that I-...that I never got the chance to ask you at all." I stopped talking, sinking down awkwardly into my seat. "I-I'm sorry; I..., I didn't mean to bring her up."
"No..., no; I-it's fine." He says flashing his indicator as he pulls over. "I..., I-I think I should just properly acknowledge everything you've just said." Taehyung says while pushing the gear stick into a parking position while activating the hazard lights.
"Y-you don't need to-
"No, I...I need to." He insists while slowly releasing my hand. "We...we should talk." He says folding his lips as he turns in his seat to fully face me. "The thing is Y/N; ...I also have something to tell you."
"O-okay..." I replied, nervously dread what he had to say next.
I can still remember that night as if it was yesterday.
It wasn't a conversation I was prepared for, but it was certainly one that needed to be heard.
As a matter of fact, thinking about everything that happened then and now; I finally realized as to why Taehyung and I were so tangled within each other.
"Your right..., I shouldn't be angry with Jungkook. But also..., there is no possible way I could be mad at you instead." He says to me, right before taking a deep breath. "I...I don't ever want you to apologize for worrying about me Y/N. The compassion you have towards me, and others is just one of the many things that I so deeply admire about you." He tells me, curing a smile to my face. "H-however..."
"...However?" I repeat, watching his jaw clench in anxiousness.
"However, hearing you say that you did everything just for my sake is what makes things so much more difficult with what I'm a bout say." Taehyung informs me, and I felt the smile from his endearing comment slowly fade away. "Your family, they filed that restraining order for your protection-"
"Protection against what? You?" I chimed in; concerned as to where this was going. "It still doesn't make sense why they did that. What would drive them into thinking it would be I good idea? I mean...Madam Choi was the one who filed it and she doesn't even know you!"
"Yes, she does." He corrects me. "To be honest, it's a lot more complicated than you think."
"...Oh really? Tell me then." I answered, feeling torn. "Make it uncomplicated, because I'm really tired of not knowing the truth about anything anymore."
"Are you sure?" He confirms while looking over at me; the sound thunder rumbling from outside my window.
"I'm sure" I answer and expression on Taehyung's face clearly said everything. There were things about his past I still wasn't aware off.
"...Okay. A little over a year ago; I met your grandmother, Madam Elena Choi for the first time when I began escorting Herin. Herin ..., who was my client at the time, wanted to make our relationship more..., believable. She wanted to introduce me to her family as her new boyfriend, only because she didn't want to be criticized for her failed relationship with her ex-fiancé. It took me days to agree with her request for I already knew how complicated things can become once your family gets involved. I wanted to do this favor for her because of what she went through. I was foolish because I should have told her no. After a few months, it became difficult for me to see Herin. She no longer wanted to be my client, but instead she wanted a real relationship. She would spend how numerous amounts of cash to Jin's company just for me to stay by her side. She fell in love, but I couldn't love her back. It was a one-sided relationship that continued to cost her, so I begged Jin to void her contract, because couldn't let her continue on like that." He told me with eyes casting down as he continues to speak. "I was just an escort; I was only doing what she required of me. However, in her family's eyes, I was her partner, the love of her life. Things didn't go well after that. The kidnapping incident wasn't even the first strike. So..., in retrospect; our 'breakup' did not sit well with Madam Choi. Not only was I accused of breaking her heart, but I was also blameworthy of taking her funds. Things hit the roof when we found out she kidnapped my little brother. It was a scandal that the Choi's tried to burry, along with proof of her existence. And while I wanted to explain my side of the story on how things happened; Jin disagreed and advise me to stay low until he took care of it. I was the man who drove her insane. And because of my contact; I can never disclose what we did." Taehyung fully reveals as I sat there quietly; trying my best to comb through this new piece of information given to me.
"I...I don't know what to say. None of them have a clue that you're an escort?"
"...No. And surprisingly; Herin has never told them either. But I think it has a lot to do with her pride. The Choi's tend to uphold a certain prestigious status. Which highly explains the restraining order written against me." He explains and I quickly realize what a mess everything is.
Was this the situation Taemin wanted to warn me about? Were they afraid I was just another target for him?
Questions upon questions clouded my mind as I began to inhale deeply while gazing forward.
The only thing that was distracting me from my thoughts were the sound of heavy rain drops pattering on the roof above us.
That..., and the way how Taehyung anxiously wrapped his fingers around the steering wheel cover.
The white of his knuckles pointing upwards in a full tense state.
The steady glow of streetlights luminated the disconsolate look on face. It was one of the things which made everything about this moment heartbreaking.
I have never seen someone so visibly broken as Kim Taehyung was. My heart ached even more knowing he suffered like this.
"...That day back at the apartment...; when I ran off to meet Hyosung..." He starts and I felt the air around us quickly turn frigid as the tip of my fingers became numb.
I had already sensed his nervousness from before; the way his gaze avoided mine while looking ahead. The cruel sight of him physically struggling to say something was a sure sign that I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear. How could I forget this long silence; the slow and steady breaths he took before speaking to me.
I was already feeling a built up of emotions rising from within. For I honestly wasn't sure what Tae really wanted to say.
I felt my eyes flicker from the strain of suppressing tears as his lips parted to speak again.
Taehyung slowly began by explaining what happened that day; the real reason why he ran off to meet Hyosung.
Has hard as it was for me to believe, I was...unknowingly apart of this equation.
The actual cause of Hyosung's massive break down wasn't just because she was intoxicated. Of course, knowing she always called him like this made me sickly annoyed.
It wasn't just the drinking and emotional blackmailing that rubbed me the wrong way about Hyosung's confession; but also, the way she decided to use me as an excuse for her irrational thinking by wanting to jump off that roof.
I was the sole excuse for her unhappiness, which was something she knew Taehyung could never stand.
The blanket of guilt she laid on him was far thicker than I had expected. Her words of desperation grasping his memory as she relayed to him her fear of him deserting her for me.
"That's...that's ridiculous..." I uttered from my lips, shaking my head in disbelief. "You? Choosing me over her? Why would she even think that?"
"Well, ...why wouldn't she?" He suddenly asks, as I sat there quietly unable to respond.
"...Huh?"
"I'm here; aren't I?" He says, his eyes gazing into mine easily telling me the answer. "You and I both know the truth Y/N. About...whatever this is that's happening between us. I've tried countlessly to convince Hyosung that you were nothing more than just a friend to me but, I honestly don't know how much longer I'm able to keep up with that lie." Tae voiced and I immediately felt my heart flutter.
"In beginning, I was so angry with myself; angry at my life; angry at the mistakes I've made in the past. Then you come along and somehow made everything so much more worth experiencing. I'll admit it, I was a complete coward because I feared what I was feeling. So...I decided that I would keep pushing you away, and...I did so constantly. Yet strangely enough..., I kept coming back again...and again and again." He says pointing to his current position causing me to smile. "There are no words in this world powerful enough to express just how sorry I am to you Y/N. Because of my rash actions, I've hurt you in ways I honestly wish I hadn't. And like the fool I was, I took your actions for granted; leaving your side while not realizing you were the one, I wanted to be around the most." He tells me wholeheartedly; his eyes gazing into mine. "I know for a fact that I shouldn't be here; nor should I have you in this car. If anyone were to find out where you are right now, I know I'll be locked away for sure. So..., with that being said; I think the right thing for me to do now is to call your brother and take you back to the hospital where you belong." Taehyung relays as I tightly close my eyes; bracing myself for the dreadful news he was about to say next. The thought of us exchanging farewells and parting ways now felt all too unbearable to even consider at all. But instead, while I waited patiently for him to finish his statement; I was quickly taken back by the touch of his warm tender hand carefully caressing my cheek. "However, I don't think I can do the right thing anymore." He spoke and I slowly open my eyes to look at him. "The only place where I believe you belong right now is here with me. I'd rather take my chances going to jail than not be with you at all. I...I love you Y/N." Tae suddenly confesses, leaving me completely lost for words. The sharp breath which escaped my lips was the last thing from me right before I took the first leap. "I love you." He softly repeats again as tears found their way to his water line. "I just...I just hope that you feel the same way I do t-
Without even giving him the chance to finish his sentence; I quickly found myself leaning forward, crashing my lips into his. I hand no intention of allowing himself to second guess his decision; for I too wanted him to know just how much I cared for him as well.
The touch of his skin against my fingertips triggered just the right amount Oxytocin and dopamine throughout my body. It was crazy yet so surreal how Taehyung managed to make me feel alive just by handling key points of me. And like a month drawn to a flame, I found myself moving forward in hopes to straddle him.
The weight of our bodies wasn't shy at all; for the physical motion that was occurring on the outside, mimicked the actions of our heated inception from within. My thoughts were suddenly dissolved feeling his mouth transitioning with fleeting kisses from my lips straight down to the hook of my shoulders. The gasp of short breaths I took were wild as he began testing me with slow motions against his groin. I was so wrapped up in this adorning passion that I hadn't even realize lights flashing outside the car.
And like history repeating itself being caught in the action just like before; I hear the sound metal tapping outside the widow, startling us both from our heated intimacy.
"...Everything okay in there?" I hear someone say as I quickly jumped of Taehyung and back into my seat.
"I-it's the police." Tae notified me and I immediately began to panic.
"Do you think Madam Choi sent them to find us?"
"I don't know. But it's not impossible." He answers winding down the window to address the police. "Goodnight officer, how can I help?" Taehyung asks the man dressed in blue.
Sinking down in my seat as the police officer peered inside the vehicle; I felt the grasp of Taehyung's hand on my thigh as he held unto me while blocking the officer's view.
"...I see you have on your hazard lights. Is everything okay?" The police officer questions while standing in the rain.
A sense of relief poured off my shoulders as Taehyung softly chuckles before answering him.
"A-ah, right; we only stopped to have a conversation; that's all. We're honestly fine officer. Thank you."
"Ahh, that's a relief. However, ...I don't think it's best for you kids to be out here. There's a storm coming tonight; it would wise to head home."
"Yes Sir, we'll get going then. Thank you." Taehyung tells him and the officer proceeds back to his vehicle.
I was certain for a second that we got caught by Madam Choi's guards' men. If that were truly the case it would be even more difficult to explain our current position before
"Y/n, are you alright?" Tae asks and I nod reply. "Okay, good. Luckily it was a false alarm. But he's right though, the weather is getting a lot worse."
"Then, should we head back to Seoul?" I ask as Taehyung runs through the GPS.
"We can do that. It'll just take longer for us to get there." He made known while leaning back in his seat. Or we could..."
"Could...what?" I prod him to go on and he looks at me with eyes uncertainty.
"There...There's a motel on the map not far from here..."
"A motel...?"
"I-it's honestly not what you think! It's just that, with the weather and...: I doubt the first place your family would look for you is...well, there." He quickly tries to justify his recommendation while fidgeting with the steering wheel. "I know what you're probably thinking, but they're a lot cleaner than you'd imagine. Plus, we don't have to sleep on the same bed. I could sleep on the floor. Or I can book two separate rooms if you're not comfortable sleeping with me. I-I...mean, spending the night alone with- ah
"Taehyung." I call his name and he immediately shuts' up to listen what I had to say. "It's fine; I'll do it."
"Do...what?" He spoke while his gaze slowly lingered from my eyes and straight to my lips.
Taehyung: "Sleep in one room?"
Y/N: "Go to the motel."
We both speak simultaneously as my brows rose now hearing what he said.
"Sorry, that was stupid of me to even ask."
"No, hah..., it wasn't. Though...; I really want to know; what do you feel is best?" I ask; gazing at him; hoping he'd have the same thoughts as mine.
"...What do you mean?"
"I mean..., I'd like to know what you want, even if the thought is within this moment. But please; don't try to second guess your answer with me." I tell him, trying my best to relay words with what I want to say. "Because..., if it's with you Taehyung; I know for a fact that I'll be alright. So just know that I don't plan on wasting this night." I honestly told him; sparking a flame that needed to be ignited long ago. "...I'll ask again, and this time; tell me the truth. What do you want Kim Taehyung?" I ask as he sat there looking over at me.
"...You."
_______________________________________
Mini Epilogue
"By the way...; how did you even get out? The last time I was there; you had more security guards around you than a bank has itself." Taehyung asks and I completely forgot that I left two guards locked up.
"Ah..., hahah..." I nervously laugh fidgeting with my fingers. "It wasn't easy. To be honest I...-I had to fake an injury."
"You what?! H-how?"
"I told the guards I slipped in the shower." I revealed and Taehyung quickly glances at me. "Oh no! I-I was fully clothed. It's just that lucky for me; my sudden cries for help sent them into a complete panic and straight into the bathroom that they didn't even realize that they ran pass me on their way in. So grabbing what I could I locked them in my suite and...left." I finish seeing wide eyes staring back at me.
"And you weren't seen by anyone else?"
"No, my wing was empty at the time. Though...avoiding the cameras was really the tricky part. But after finding the emergency exit on the map of my floor; I came to realize that the stairway was pretty much security cam free." I told him feeling the car coming to a halt at a stop light. However, upon viewing the staggering expression on Taehyung's, I could see he was a bit taken by my great escape back story. "Are you upset?" I ask and he sighs softly.
"Well, I'm sure you know the both of us will be in a lot of trouble when your family finds out what you did. "But..., I'm actually glad you did what you did. If you hadn't, I'm sure I wouldn't get the chance to see you at all." Taehyung admits and I felt my emotions swell, completely elevated about what he said. "I've been worried about you like crazy since that night. I just want to ensure that you're healthy and safe. To be honest, it pains me to see when you're sick. It was scary not knowing what happened to you. I don't..., I don't want to lose you. I don't think I could process if anything happened to you. So please, take care of your health from now on, okay?" He tells me, and I felt my heartache after hearing his point of view.
My health was not the best; but there was no way I could even utter a word of that.
My hopes of telling Taehyung about my illness have disappeared completely. My emotions took a complete turning point as he drove into the still wet night.