Never • The Lost Daughter | A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter 18 - Colors (3d Year's End)

It was the last day of the year, time had passed quicker than I had expected, or wished. I hated leaving this castle, my home. It was nice looking forward to these beautiful and relaxing two months that were to come during the summer holidays, and I would surely enjoy spending my holidays with Luna, as I always was, but I could still feel this lump in my throat, and that castle begging me not to leave.

I had already packed my bags but Hogwarts Express wouldn't leave until 9 o'clock. I decided to pay a last visit to the Astronomy Tower. It would be empty; everyone was too busy packing.

I had frequently visited this spot in times of need, but I'd never seen Draco waiting for me there.

He had stopped trying to get into my life, cut every cord of contact we had.

He hadn't noticed me walking in the Tower. The wood creaked under my feet but I could still walk away if I was quiet enough. Something drew me to him, however. I stood by him at a safe distance near the railing and looked ahead.

And that silence was so peaceful, yet echoing.

"Don't you love that?" he said after a couple of minutes.

"Love what?" I asked stiffly

"Silence," he answered and turned his gaze back to the lake. "I like it when you can just stop talking and comfortably share silence with someone," he said, and we both looked at each other as if Draco had said something great that would be marked in our hearts forever, yet simple to hear at. And I felt there was something melancholic hovering between us. I always knew Draco was a sad boy and a melancholic one.

"I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before," I narrowed my eyes.

"Bet you haven't. It just came out," he answered and smiled.

"That was nice," I said with a tint of surprise in my voice.

"Why are you so surprised?"

"I just haven't got used of you saying things like that..." I lowered my eyes.

"You know," he said after a pause, "you shouldn't judge someone before you get to know them."

"You think I don't know you?" I said rolling my eyes.

"That's exactly what I think, Annie," he said but he didn't give the laugh back. Only my father ever called me Annie. I blinked and tried to forget about it. 

"I know more about you than you think..." I raised my eyebrows but at the same time thinking of all those things that in all reality I don't know about him and had wondered for a long time.

"Doubtful," he said slowly. "Very doubtful," he repeated and lowered his head as if he was thinking of something dark and painful.

I realized that all this time I had been talking to him about how we couldn't be together, but I had never actually talked and discussed anything with him. I didn't know anything about his life, and I didn't know basic things to do with his character. Because the only thing I knew was that he wasn't all that he would ever show. In his eyes, I could see more deepness than in any other eyes I had looked upon in my life. What could this kid be hiding?

"What don't I know about you then?" I said, not having control of my thoughts, and simply trying to make him feel better.

"You don't even know what my favourite colour is, Anne..." he said and we both laughed.

"Okay..." I said, feeling my cheeks getting warmer and probably red. "What is your favourite colour..."

"That doesn't count! You had to ask it by yourself!" he whined and laughed at the same time, while I couldn't stop smiling.

"Seriously, though, what is it?" I asked, unexpectedly interested and curious.

"It's green. Deep green," he said and smiled.

"A much-expected answer from a Slytherin and a Malfoy..." I raised my eyebrows.

"No, that has nothing to do with my house or family. Seriously, I have had so much green in my life that I almost hate some versions of it. I've had it inside my own house since I was a boy. It's all around; sofas, bed sheets, heavy silk curtains, embroidered canopies... And then I see it in my common room and on my robes... It's sickening sometimes."

"Then why is it your favourite colour?" I asked and he automatically turned his face to the view that was lying in front of us.

"You see that forest? The Forbidden Forest?" he showed the forest ahead of us. "It's the exact same colour of the trees that I love. And, see, the lake reflects this colour. It is as if everything is green from up here. This Tower is my favourite place in this world. And this view's colour is my favourite colour as well. I still don't know if the one is because of the other."

I stared, hardly knowing that my heart was beating. Not only because the Tower was his favourite place in the world as well but because Draco was thinking of the exact same things as me. For a moment I wondered if he had cast a spell so he could read my mind.

The next minutes passed silently, with Draco and me staring at each other's faces and trying to understand what the other was thinking.

"I'll be writing to you. Even every day, if I can," he said slowly. "Anne, I know I was an ass to you and your friend. I'm very bad with this..." he breathed heavily with anxiety. "I look tough sometimes but I hope that when you get to know me, you'll understand. And I can only hope you'll be writing to me too."

This is the closest thing I had gotten to an apology and it seemed to torture him.

"I thought you stopped trying," I said, closely watching his eyes.

"Never," he answered at once.

*     *     *

We reached the small cottage late in the afternoon. Mr Lovegood already had warm tea waiting for us - a pathetic excuse for a beverage that I had learned how to sip gratefully every time he welcomed us home. Luna and Mr Lovegood had the most honest and loving relationship I had ever seen between a father and a daughter. I could hear them catching up as I was setting my bed for the summer, when I heard a tap on the window. I opened quickly to let Lancel land near me. He was holding Draco's first letter for the summer.

A̶n̶n̶e̶,̶

Annie,

Every time I come back home, I feel like I'm entering a miniature. Of course, the house isn't getting any smaller. Maybe I'm the one who is outgrowing it, getting taller - or does the world seem so wide nowadays that my house looks only like a small fraction of it?

And it is as depressing as I remember it.

But I counted and it's 62 days until we head back to Hogwarts. It's not so bad.

Draco 

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