149: The One Where Toni is on Her Own

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TONI POV:

I look at Cheryl who's barely conscious. She was in a really bad car accident, she also has some other medical shit that I can't really explain and the doctors aren't giving her much time to live. Her health is decreasing by the minute, the car accident didn't make anything better for her. "Cheryl we'll be ok." I tell her. I wipe her tears. "What about Jess?" She ask barely able to speak. "Like I said we'll be ok! Do you not trust me to take care of our daughter?" I ask. She smiles a little. She shrug. I smile. "We'll be ok!" I tell her. "Cheryl, I love you more than anything! And I'm gonna miss you like crazy! But you need to stop fighting this fight, it's not worth it. We'll ok! Because we will have you protecting us." I take her hand. I take a deep breath. "She's not gonna remember me." She whispers. "It's really hard to forget you." She smiles a little. "I'll make sure she remembers you." I tell her. "I'm scared." She whispers. I sit closer. "I'm gonna be here the whole time." I reassure her. She nods. I rub her hand.

Veronica stands up as I walk out of the hospital room. I immediately start crying. "I can't do this without her!" I cry. She pulls me into a hug. "You're gonna be ok! I'm gonna be here to help you!" I nod. She wipes my tears. "You have to be with her right now." I nod again. "I just needed some air." I whisper. "I'll be here. Go back in there." She tells me. "Can you come in after the doctor comes in if he does?" She nods. I go back inside and Cheryl is barely there mentally. They had to put her on life support. I sit down next to her and I take her hand. "I love you Cheryl. I know you're probably in a lot of pain, I love you more than anything but if you need to let go, you can." I whisper. "Jess and I will be ok. I'll be overwhelmed at times, obviously, she's 4 But I'll be ok, we all will." I hold back tears. I sit a little closer. "We'll be ok." I keep telling her knowing she doesn't believe it. The doctor walks into the room. "We might have to take her off life support." I look at Cheryl and take a deep breath. "But we can't do it without your consent." He tells me. I take a deep breath. "How long does she have if we take her off?" I ask quietly. "About an day or two." I let a tear fall. "We did everything we could." He whispers. "Keep her on for a few more days, don't, it's the same outcome." I look at Cheryl. I nod. "If there isn't a choice and we can't do anything to save her. I guess we have to." I say sadly. "Will she be in pain?" I ask. He shakes his head. "We'll give her morphine to numb any pain she might have." I nod. "What do I have to sign?" I ask quietly. He grabs them and I sign them. I take a deep breath. The doctor leaves and Veronica comes in. "They are taking her off life support." My heart drops. "I'm sorry." She whispers. "How long does she have?" She ask. "A day or two. I just wish she could be home, I don't know if they will allow that." She shrugs. "You can ask." I nod. "Can you get the doctor?" I ask her. Veronica nods and gets the doctor. The doctor comes back in and we discuss our options. "I just don't want Jess to see her like this." I whisper. "Me and Archie can take her for a few more days." Veronica says quietly, I look at Cheryl. "Can you?" She nods. "What ever you need." I nod. "We can get her home this afternoon." The doctor tells us. I nod. "Yeah." I whisper.

We got Cheryl home, it's surprisingly peaceful. I take Cheryl's hand. "I love you Cheryl, forever." I whisper knowing she isn't gonna respond. I look and the heart monitor. It slowly stops beating. I look at Cheryl. I lie my head down and start crying.

"Toni..." I look up from Cheryl's grave. "Do you think I did the right thing?" I ask her. "She was in a lot of pain. I honestly can't give you a straight answer." She tells me. "I don't know if you did or not." She says quietly. "But she was in pain emotionally and physically, she's with Jason now, not saying she never loved you, but Jason was her better half." I nod. "We talked about it before, I wasn't ever gonna fill the whole Jason left after he died, but I know I made it easier for her to get through it." I say looking at both of their graves. "I made sure I put them together. Cheryl would haunt me if I didn't." We both laugh a little. "Yeah, or she would have so how done it herself." I nod. "How's Jess taking this?" She ask quietly. "I really don't know. I ask how's she's feeling and she doesn't want to talk about it." I look up at the sky. "I don't know if I did the right thing." Veronica rubs my back. "No matter what you did you wouldn't have been happy. If you let her live she would have been in pain and you would have hated it." She tells me. "But what if she was able to make it." I say full of guilt. "Let's go home." She pulls me away and we go home. "Hey Arch." I say going into the living room. "How was she?" I ask quietly. "She just watched tv and took a nap." He looks at me. "She's not ok." He whispers. I take a deep breath "I know." I whisper before going up to Jess's room. Her fun name is Jessica but we've been calling her Jess since day one. "Jess? You ok?" I ask sitting on her bed.

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