Choni one shots

73: The One Where Toni Can't Forget

TONI POV:

Everywhere I go I see her. I can't forget about her. I was going to marry her, have kids with her. I never to go tell her I loved her. "Toni!" I look up at Veronica. "What?" I close my locker. "You've been starting at Cheryl's locker for 10 minutes." I look at her locker, I can still see her smiling at me. "Are you ok?" Veronica ask quietly. "I've been better. Like when Cheryl was still alive." I whisper. I start crying. "We were supposed to be together forever. I can't live without her." I whisper. "Let's go to Pops. You look like you haven't slept of eaten for days. Have you showered?" I shake my head. We go to Pops, Veronica walks behind the counter and starts making a milkshake while I sit down. "I should have known that something was wrong!" I cry. "This is all my fault." Veronica hands me a milkshake. "I'm not hungry." I whisper. "Toni when was the last time you ate?" She ask quietly. "I don't know! Last time we were here!" I whisper. "It's Thursday we were hear on Tuesday." I lie my head on the counter. "This is where we had our first date." I rub the counter where she was sitting. "H-have you talk to her brother?" I sit up. "Jason doesn't even want to look at anyone right now." She whispers. "But he wants to talk to you." I shake my head. "I can't talk to him." I look over at our booth. I can still see her, drinking her milkshake, laughing, smiling. "Toni!" I look at Veronica. "Sorry." I look down. "Eat!" I finally get some food in me and take a deep breath. The bell rings, we both look over at the door and Jason walks in. He takes a deep breath and walks out.

I walk downstairs. "Toni." My mom looks at me. "How are you doing?" She ask quietly. "Everywhere I go, I see her." I whisper. "I don't know if I can go to the funeral today." I confess. "I'm not ready to say goodbye." I whisper. "I'm gonna be there if you need me." She whispers. "I know, I just cannot say goodbye. I never thought I would have to do this, especially not like this." She rubs my back. "Everyone is expecting you to be there." Mom whispers. "Wow that makes everything better!" I say very sarcastically. "Toni..." I look down. "I should have been there! I could have stopped her. But I was busy trying to get Sweet Pea a girlfriend!" I get frustrated. "Hey! Calm down!" Mom cups my cheeks. "None of this is your fault." She whispers. "First Dad now Cheryl. Everyone I-I've loved has died! Except you. Please don't leave." She nods. "I'm not leaving you." She hugs me. "I know you don't want to hear this because you're my mom. But Cheryl was my first." I whisper. "Yeah I didn't need to know that. But I get what you're going through." I haven't stopped crying. "I don't know if I can move on." I whisper. "It's has only been 2 weeks, you're not supposed to move on right now." She whispers. "When was the last time you slept or showered?" I take a deep breath. "When did Cheryl kill her self?" I ask quietly. "Toni..." She hugs me.

It's after the funeral some of us went back to Thistle house. "Someone showered!" Veronica whispers to my. I never explained why me and Veronica have been so close the past 2 weeks, Veronica and Cheryl were best friends which caused us to become friends. "Toni!" I look at Veronica. "How many times am I going to have to snap you out of your thoughts?" She ask slightly frustrated. "Until I get Cheryl back." I whisper. We walk over to Jason. "Hey." He whispers. "Why didn't you stop her!" I start crying. "You don't think I tried!" He whispers. "She wasn't going to listen to anyone! I tried to tell her everything was ok, and she didn't listen to me." I take a deep breath. "I miss her." I whisper. "We all do." Jason hands me a paper. "She left this plus some stuff in her room for you." I look up at him. "I don't think I'm ready." I whisper to him. "It's ok. But when you're ready... I'll let you take what you want, plus what she left you." I nod. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready." I walk away.

"Toni." I look over at Cheryl. "I love you." I whisper pulling her closer. "Let's dance." I whisper. She cups my cheek and kisses me. I grab her waist and she lies her arm on my shoulder. "Are you ok?" I ask quietly. "What-what do you mean?" She ask quietly. "Well you've been acting off. I just want to make sure your ok before something happens to you." I whisper not knowing what was going to happen to her. I was so stupid. I should have known. "I'm fine." She smiles. I know it's fake, I know she's lying I just want to believe her so much I decide to let it go. "Ok." I look at her and she's gone. "Cheryl!" I look around the gym full of people. No sign of her. "Cheryl!"

"Cheryl!" I sit up. "Ch-Cheryl." I whisper. "Toni." I look at my mom. "You had a nightmare." She sits on the edge of my bed. "I can't sleep without dreaming of her." I look up at her. "I can tell. But you need some rest." She whispers. "I can't sleep." She lies down and pulls me into hug. I cry into her until I fall asleep. I wish it was forever. I can't live without her. I don't know if I ever will.